New Life
by S.carlett V.on U.ttenburg
Summary: The second half of this story is up. THE PRIVATE DETECTIVES: Relationships and the office. E&O find out it's harder than it seems. They get a little too good at keeping secrets but when the truth is revealed is their bond thicker than the lies?
1. Broken Glass

**A/N: I haven't logged on to fanfic in a long time, but the last few episodes of Season 8 left me a tad upset. I'm really not a Kathy fan. So I had to start reading/writing some stuff that I wanted to see. The last thing I want to see is Kathy and Elliot having a baby- BARF A ROOO. Although if Dick Wolf is gonna get Olivia hooked up I'm glad that they picked a nice looking guy like the one playing Dean Porter. Vincent something or other. He's no Hugh Jackman, but he's swarthy none the less. This is just a small set up. If you're a EO fan don't get too disappointed by this first chapter. Drop me a line if you have any opinions about it. Either way. It's cool.**

**New Life**

**Part One**

**Fidelity**

"The heart is the place where we live our passions. It is frail and easily broken, but wonderfully resilient. There is no point in trying to deceive the heart. It depends upon our honesty for its survival. Born For Love" - Leo F. Buscaglia

**Broken Glass**

A light rain drizzled onto Olivia's face as she walked toward her lonely Manhattan apartment. She had just had the worst and possibly the last day of her career. She called her brother's cell phone one more time.

"You've reached the Marsdon's you know what to do. Beep"

She flipped the phone closed and sat on the stoop of her building. Her hair grew heavy from the rain. She held her face to the sky and closed her eyes. The rain was the only thing keeping her from feeling completely isolated and untouchable. For a second she almost smiled at the release of tension from her long day. The stress drained from her mind and a familiar face stained the back of her eyelids.

Images of a family sitting around a table flashed by. He sat across from her. A few children giggled in the background. Her brother and his wife laughed at a joke he just told. All at once fear came over her body. It was a fear of emptiness. She had waited so long to begin this dream. The story played over and over again in her mind for years. He had his happy memories and she wanted so badly to be a part of them. _"Don't be stupid, Olivia. It's too late, you stubborn fool,"_ she thought to herself before opening her eyes and shaking back the tears.

"Olivia?"

Olivia looked up to see Dean Porter standing in front of her.

"Enjoying the lovely weather we're having?" He gazed at her bloodshot eyes from under a large umbrella.

She stood up. Her face was level with his but she avoided eye contact as much as possible. "Yeah. Who gave you my address?"

Dean held the umbrella over her head. "FBI."

Olivia ducked from his umbrella and headed towards her buildings' door. "So what are you stocking me now? It's illegal to obtain personal information without reason."

"Whoa, wait. Olivia, I just came to tell you the results."

Olivia froze, "The results? I didn't know they started broadcasting that information."

"Rodger Manning is a good friend of mine. He evaluated your interview with internal affairs. I thought you should hear it in person, so I waited for him after you left."

"I'm glad to know that my foolish mistakes are now making their way around the FBI water cooler. Thanks for your concern Dean, but I'd rather get my news from an 8x11 doubled spaced letter in black ink. Good night." Olivia turned to open her building door when a gruff voice spoke from behind Dean's figure.

"Don't be a hard ass Olivia. When did you become so interested in the board of internal affairs journalism abilities?" Don Cragen pushed passed Dean and handed Olivia a letter.

"Dean helped me quicken the process. I'd tell you to open it, but it sounds so much better coming out of my mouth. You're not fired yet."

Olivia scrunched her brow in disbelief and ripped open the letter.

Don smiled, "They've put you on probation starting next week and they're going to be watching you like a hawk, which means you better stay focused. But if you're not sick of seeing my saggy face you can throw the classified ads away. You just saved your ass."

Olivia hugged Cragen with tears in her eyes, "Thanks Don."

"Don't thank me. Dean was the one with all the compliments."

Olivia smiled, "Now who's being a hard ass."

The three of them stood in awkward silence and Dean backed away, "Well, Congratulations, Benson. I'll see both of you around."

"Dean, wait. Thank you."

Olivia touched his arm and he swore his heart stopped, "It was nothing. You would have done the same for me."

Don cleared his throat, "Well, I had a long night. I'll see you in the morning, Liv. Dean, Good night."

"Good night Captain," Olivia replied.

The silence came over Olivia and the handsome FBI agent, Dean Porter, once again. The pause was so deafening that she had almost forgotten about the rain.

"You wanna come up?"

"No, I'd better go." Dean took a step towards the sidewalk.

"No, really, Dean. Please. Come up and have something to drink. It's the least I can do. Heck, if you ask nicely I might even be up for making omelets."

Scene

Olivia burst into a fit of genuine laughter as Dean scooped the burnt omelet into the wastebasket, "I thought you said you were good at this."

"I lied,"Dean replied as he watched her cute nose scrunch in the middle and her smile that brightened the room. It was an infectious smile. He couldn't help but laugh and stare in her presence.

"Lied!? You better hope I never evaluate you. Dean Porter, he's a bullheaded agent. I'd be willing to forgive his transgressions except that he makes a real shitty omelet."

She stepped toward him and traced the top of her wine glass with the tip of her finger.

He moved closer to her. "You're all talk Benson. You're good at your job, but Nancy Drew doesn't play well in the kitchen."

Olivia coyly smiled ", My Nancy Drew could beat your Inspector Gadget any day."

He leaned next to her on the counter ", Try me."

She locked eyes with him. His intentions seemed playful, but Olivia wasn't the type to let down her guard.

Her body froze unable to decide what she wanted.

He touched her shoulder to get her to relax. "What's the matter? Cat got your tongue."

"No," she replied with a half of a smile and frustration in her eyes.

"Relax," he whispered as he leaned in and kissed her on the cheek.

The touch of his face made her clinch up with nervous excitement.

A man hadn't touched her like that in years. The smell of his cologne consumed her.

The hard protective shell she carried softened with the touch of his hand on hers.

He slowly kissed her neck and traced the fingers that she wrapped around the wine glass.

The feeling of his lips and tongue sent wild chills to her to her head. She closed her eyes and let a sound slip from her throat.

Smoothly he stopped and opened her crossed arms. She had yearned to be with a man, but something kept her mind detached.

She felt as if she were watching the act from above. The out of body experience didn't seem right, but her body kept up with the movement of Dean's intimate gestures.

His kisses grew passionate and he slid his tongue into her mouth. She pulled away slightly, but he was persistent and his hand followed the line of her neck.

The tips of his fingers glided over her collarbone and pulled the strap of her black tank top from the curve of her shoulder.

His dark eyes followed his hand as he uncovered her soft dark breast.

Olivia started to shake. Dean watched her while his fingertips played with her nipple. Olivia blinked and twitched away from him before he could take it any further.

"What's wrong?"

For the first time in front of Dean, Olivia felt small and ashamed. "I'm sorry. I- it's been a long time. I'm not sure-"

"We can stop."

Olivia didn't answer him right away. She knew Dean was a great guy and she wanted this, but a fear ran over her as she contemplated her actions.

"Liv, it's ok. We don't have to do this. I understand."

And then her world stopped. Olivia dropped her wine glass at the sound of it. Her name, and his voice casually saying it, as if they'd broken the first step to knowing each other. There were only a few people who ever called her that and he was not one of them.

The pieces of glass smashed across the floor and she clenched her eyes tightly closed.

The sound of it all made her numb.

Elliot's voice rang in her ears and before she could react a vibration coming from her pocket stopped her.

Olivia walked away and pulled her shirt back on.

"Benson, " she said as she flipped open the phone.

"Liv, meet me at the warehouses on 52nd. It's a TV set. There's been a kidnapping and possible rape. Victims' in hysterics."

"Got it."

She turned to see Dean cleaning up the wine glass, "That was my partner. I've gotta go."

"All right. It's probably better that way."

"Yeah."

"I wouldn't want to get too personal," Dean grabbed his coat and headed towards the door.

"What did you say?"

"Too personal. I wouldn't want to mess that up."

Olivia stood next to him by the door unsure of her opinion on that. "Sounds like something Elliot would say."

"He's a smart man. Good night, Olivia Benson," Dean turned and disappeared down the hallway.

Olivia grabbed her gun and badge and closed her door shut. Slowly she locked the bolt as the words "too personal" ran through her mind.


	2. Double Vision

**Double Vision **

Elliot pushed through the yellow tape surrounding a small trailer. On the outside of the door hung a sign that read "Criminal Order. Onsite trailer. Michelle Herman." The media was already on the scene.

"Detective! Detective was Michelle Herman raped by her attacker?"

"Can you give us any information about the kidnapping?"

Elliot was already exhausted and the high profile case hadn't even begun. He ignored the ridiculous questions and the flash bulbs, and pulled open the small trailer door.

Once inside, he was greeted by several people dressed in black t-shirts and ratty looking black jeans and other people dressed in suits and uniforms. Elliot was a big fan of the show and right away he recognized several of the cast members hunched in the corner. There was an awkward hush of whispering as they all waited in the cramped space. Elliot was pointed to a room in the back. The television hero, Michelle Herman sat on a couch next to a dressing room table with bright make-up lights. Michelle's co-star, EJ Christopher knelt on the ground holding her hand. Elliot cleared his throat and opened his mouth to introduce himself when Michelle lifted her face and blinked in his direction. He froze and caught himself starring into her broken brown eyes. Her make-up was smeared and she was holding an ice pack to the bump on her head, but even in her distraught state she was beautiful.

Something about her felt familiar and warm. He couldn't place the feeling she gave him.

"Hey, buddy you got a problem?" EJ was standing in front of Elliot. His muscles flexed and his brow wrinkled with annoyance.

Elliot gazed at EJ. His transfixion was brought to a halt, "Huh?"

EJ pushed Elliot out of the room, "Who is this guy? Can somebody man the door? Do I look like the Mexican border? Get this guy out of here."

A posy of large men stepped toward Elliot.

"Hold up. Wait," Elliot pulled out his badge, "Detective Stabler. I apologize I'm working on little sleep. Ms. Herman I meant no disrespect."

"You'll have to excuse my partner fellas," Olivia flashed her badge and made her way into the back room.

She glanced at EJ ", His wife is having a baby. He's on overtime."

Olivia eyed up the crew of bodyguards and slowly starred at Elliot. He gave her his smartass eyebrow and they inched their way to the couch.

Olivia softly sat next to Michelle Herman and began the questioning ", Hi Michelle, I'm detective Olivia Benson. This is my partner Elliot Stabler. We'll be handling your case."

"Have they found my baby yet?"

"I'm afraid not. But we have the best of the best searching for him. I'm going to need you to give me as many details about the incident as possible. It will help us find the perp-"

"I know the drill, detective."

"She does," Elliot added and then felt himself go red when she looked at him. "Sorry I've seen the show a few times. Great scripts, by the way. Very realistic."

Michelle smiled weakly and started into her story like she had rehearsed it and eagerly waited for the moment to tell them.

"I was running late to set. My husband, Robert, was supposed to drop Michael and myself off on his way to work. He's in a show. But I couldn't get ready in time. I like to get ready at home. And if Robert can't take me, my assistant does, but she's out of town for the week. Robert wanted to hire a substitute but I insisted that I could handle things on my own. Robert doesn't know anything yet. What time is it?"

Olivia checked her watch, "It's 9pm."

Michelle grabbed a tissue from her pocket, "His show opened tonight. I couldn't have them ruin that for him. The bad reviews would break the run."

Elliot knelt in front of her ", We'll have someone bring him straight to you when he's finished. Tell us about the attack."

She nodded and gave a great sigh ", I never use the car service provided for us by the network, but it was an unusual situation, so I called for a chauffer. He was a tall white man. Brown hair. Cut short. He wore a suit. The coat had a patch on it. A blue patch with a DH in the center. He was very nice, polite, but I should have known something wasn't right. He kept asking me questions about the show. About my son. My husband. That's unusual. Most services are strictly forbidden to ask personal questions, but I didn't want to be rude. We were getting close to the set when he pulled under the over pass near the interstate. Before I could react he had a gun aimed at my head. He forced me to give up my cell phone. And then…he."

Olivia touched Michelle's hand ", it's ok. Try to keep going. You're doing really well."

"He got in the back of the limo and he raped me. He kept telling me about the things that he loved about me. 'You're so pretty when you cry. I love a woman that can shoot a gun and wear an evening gown at the same time.' I tried to think of a way to get help. I slowly reached for my house keys. I let him finish and as he was zipping his pants I stabbed him in the stomach. That stopped him for a second and I punched him in the face. He was furious. He grabbed my hair and smashed my head onto the side of the limo. Michael started crying. I was afraid he would hurt him, but he didn't. He lifted him out of the cradle and sang him the song that…one of the songs I sang on the show. It's in the episode where I was trapped in the cave with the baby. I can't believe this happened. I've never remotely had a fan do something like this. You know, you're surrounded by things that remind you to be safe and to be aware. I never thought something like this would happen to me. I practically trained to be a cop. Why couldn't I stop this? How did I allow this to happen?"

Elliot handed Michelle another tissue ", Some things are out of our control. It isn't your fault. You've been extremely brave. Can you give us the phone number of the Car Service you called and a picture of Michael?"

Michelle wiped her nose ", Sure, anything."

EJ, who was standing in the corner, stood up and rubbed Michelle on the back. He starred at Olivia as she wrote down information in her notebook. She caught him starring and got up from the couch, "Michelle, Dr. Warner should be here any second to do a rape kit. I think we have enough for now, but if you think of anything give us call."

Olivia held out her card and EJ took it.

"I'm sorry, EJ, is it? That's really not for you."

He scratched his chin and gave the card to Michelle, "I just wanted to look. Is it me or are you two related?"

Olivia looked at Elliot ", who? Me and him?"

"No. You and her."

Michelle looked up at Olivia ", EJ I'm not in the mood for jokes right now."

"Hey it was just an observation. You should hire her as a stunt double."

Olivia smiled ", that's very flattering, but I'm sure that I have no sisters. Michelle stay strong. We'll call you the moment we find something."

Scene

The detectives drove to the spot where Michelle was raped and Michael was last seen. CSI had gotten a make and mobile of the car from its' tire markings. They also obtained a boot print. Elliot and Olivia sat in a squad car waiting for information to go through. Elliot clicked a pen.

" You wanna cut that out?" Olivia finally said after several attempts to ignore the sound.

"Sorry, I'm a little stressed."

"I noticed. How's Kathy?"

"The same. The trips to the hospital are killing me. Because of her age she's been put on bed rest and monitors. I haven't slept in a bed in almost a month."

"Elliot, if you need to get some sleep I can go to the –"

The radio interrupted Olivia, "_Stabler Benson. We got an address for that number. 3457 W. Clark St. Looks like a garage right outside the city."_

"Copy that," Elliot replied.

He turned the sirens on and headed for the address.

He yelled towards Olivia, "What were you saying?"

She yelled back ", I could go be with Kathy if you needed to get a few hours of sleep in."

"What?"

"Kathy. I could help out with Kathy."

Elliot turned off the siren as they merged onto the interstate. "I know, it's always about Kathy. She's so damned worried about herself that sometimes I don't think she ever considers my needs. I want to be there for her, I do… I did, no I do, but she keeps giving me reasons not to. It's the same fight over and over again. 'When are you going to really be here for me?,' 'Why can't you just talk to me a little?', 'How can I trust you if you keep leaving me for your job'. Liv, I'm with her every minute that I'm not here. I don't know what else I can do. I'm tired."

Olivia sat in silence.

Elliot looked at her and then to the road ", you didn't say what I thought you said did you?"

"No, but it seems like you needed to get that off of your chest."

Elliot rubbed his head ", Yeah, sorry. I didn't mean to bring you into that."

"El, it's fine. How long have I known you? Besides it's healthy to talk about those things."

"Yeah, but not with-," Elliot bit his lip.

"Not with me."

Elliot paused unsure how to react to that.

"Elliot, I get it. It's fine."

"I guess."

Olivia sighed and starred at the open road ahead of them ", well it's a dumb rule anyway. Personal. What isn't personal? Isn't everything personal? I don't think there's one thing that I do outside of this job except sleep, and let me tell yeah, there's not much to report about in that department."

Elliot looked at her through the corner of his eye with a tilted smile ", says the woman who can't even tell her partner that she hasn't been fired."

Olivia sat up ", how the hell do you know?"

"I know everything about you Benson."

"You _think _you know everything about me."

"Try me."

"I don't need to justify that statement I have plenty of secrets."

Elliot laughed ", so tell me Liv, how's Dean Porter? Do you like him as much as he likes you?"

Olivia felt herself blushing and turned away from Elliot's gaze ", Dean Porter is a know- it-all with a big mouth."

"Oh come on, did you sleep with him yet?"

Olivia grew furious ", Ok, that's enough."

Elliot parked the car and looked at the side of Olivia's half covered face. "Liv, I'm just pulling your leg."

Olivia opened the car door and slammed it shut ", and I said that's enough."

Elliot jogged behind her. "Ah, Come on Liv, I didn't mean to upset you. I just wanted you to laugh."

She stopped and cracked her neck. "Well, it was a bad joke."

Elliot gave her a goofy face. "Sorry I'll be punnier next time."

She looked up from the ground with red eyes and he touched her arm with alarm on his face. "Liv, what's wrong?"

She quickly turned away from his blue eyes . "Don't. Elliot, don't. I need to focus. Let's just stay focused."

"Okay," he replied softly.

He handed her his handkerchief. She wiped her eyes and looked back at him. "Maybe you should try being honest with Kathy. And yourself. Or maybe it's time to let something go. You can't pretend to be happy."

Elliot nodded and kicked the gravel beneath his feet.

Olivia threw the handkerchief at him. " And just so you know, I couldn't go through with it."

"With what?"

"I couldn't sleep with him."

Olivia took in a deep breath and looked at the dark garage. "Looks like they're closed. I'll get the owner's number."

As she dialed her cell phone, Elliot rubbed the spot between her shoulder blades. He watched her and his hand tingled from the touch of her warm back. She knew him. She knew a part of him that nobody else would ever get and that scared him. He watched her lips move as she spoke to information and thought to himself ", _what am I doing?"_


	3. Fearless

AN: Thanks for all of the fun reviews. I usually write back but I've been a little busy and I wanted to get the next part written. But you guys are super sweet! Drop me a line if your digging it. Drop me a line if you aren't. I'm kind of fuzzy on the ending of this thing at the moment so if you there's anything you really DON'T want to see- let me know. But don't tell me if there's something you do want to see. Otherwise if I pick it, it won't be a surprise for either of us. Wink Wink.   
Shalom Out!

Scarlett

**Fearless**

Munch's voice came through Don Cragen's portable. "Cap, we found the Limo. It's been abandoned. CSI found some hair and blood. Most likely it's the victims. The area is empty. He's gone."

Cragen paced next to his squad car yelling orders into the radio. " Munch, I want to know where he went. Find me something useful. I need answers people."

Olivia and Elliot walked towards him. He threw the radio into his car window and yelled toward the detectives with a red face and wrinkled brow. "Tell me you found something."

Olivia handed Cragen a photo. "We found Carlos Montoia beaten and murdered on 53rd St."

Elliot finished her thought by adding ", Looks like our perp got to the driver before our victim did. The body was already at the morgue. Garbage men found him around ten o'clock. Warner's working on him now. We're having all evidence sent to the precinct by the crimes lab. And as far as we can tell our perp is not connected to the car service."

Olivia interrupted. "Capt, I'm thinking he had her bugged."

Cragen nodded. "I'll send Munch and Fin to the Herman's home in Manhattan. You two-"

"Captain."

Cragen grabbed his portable. "Copy."

Munch crackled from the radio in Cragen's hand. "CSI found something. A gold necklace was wrapped around the windshield wipers. It's not broken and it seems a little staged."

Olivia grabbed the necklace around her neck. "That's Michelle's."

Olivia started running to her car and yelling towards Elliot at the same time. "She didn't tell us that he took that. We need to re-interview her. He planted that for a reason."

Elliot jumped into the passenger seat as Olivia floored it to the Herman's Manhattan Townhouse.

Olivia's spaced out in the driver's seat trying to figure out the necklace. "Why wouldn't she tell us that? That's not something I would forget."

"Maybe she wasn't wearing it."

"But then how did the perp get-" Olivia squealed on the breaks and turned unexpectedly in another direction.

Elliot grabbed a cold unfinished coffee cup from spilling out of the holder. "Jesus."

He looked at Olivia with wide eyes. "You gotta warn before you do that."

He then drank the cold coffee, wincing at its' taste.

Olivia threw her phone at him. "Call Munch. Have them find out why she wasn't wearing that necklace. We have to stop at my place."

"Why?"

"Season 5. The victim's necklace got caught to the windshield wiper. Her body goes missing. The necklace leads Sophie and Mel to an Internet café where they find out the perp is a regular costumer. If the necklace was planted by Michelle's number one fan, it only makes sense that he would use the show as game. That episode has to tell us the next step."

Elliot glared at her. "Didn't know you were such a fan."

She looked at him and shrugged her shoulder haughtily. "It was personal."

Elliot laughed and shook his head. "You're something else Benson. Is that why you grew your hair out?"

She blushed. "Wouldn't you like to know."

He stuck his finger in the cold coffee and flicked it at her.

"Hey," she cried as she wiped her face. "Cut that out!"

"You started it."

"You asked for it."

Olivia parked the car and they headed towards her apartment.

Elliot leaned on the building's front pain of glass as Olivia fumbled with her keys. He starred her in the face and smiled with an evil grimace. "Criminal Order junky."

She gave him a sassy look and opened the front door. "Michelle Herman stocker."

Elliot grinned and pushed the elevator button. "Michelle Herman wanna be."

The two of them laughed and joked on the elevator ride and some. The doors opened to Olivia's floor as she replied ", Can't keep his shirt on, Stabler!"

They reached Olivia's door and Elliot stood close to her face. "Won't put out for the FBI."

She looked him in the eye and her heart pounded, as his body remained close. She paused and his face was inches from hers. Her eyes fell to his lips and then quickly back to his eyes. His playful banter dwindled and she could see his stare become something different. Warm and grabbing. She fought the thoughts inside of her mind. If only it were an easy answer, she would have grabbed his face and fearlessly won the battle that they each fought every day. It was a moment they frequently had. A moment they loved and hated to ignore. And here it was again. Olivia couldn't tell if it was out sleep deprivation or genuine intentions that Elliot allowed himself to submit to his vulnerable behavior. The ball was in her court and she knew he would never step out of turn. Before the moment became any longer she opened her mouth and said the first stupid thing that came to her head. "Holds out on his wife."

The keys she held in her hand dropped to the floor and she knew as soon as the words left her mouth that Elliot would not be thinking of passionate kisses and flirtatious repartee.

Her eyes closed and life seemed to move in slow motion.

Elliot turned his face from her and slowly picked the keys up from the floor. He turned his back to her while he opened the door. She could feel his anger. "Elliot, I didn't mean that."

"Just get the DVD. "

SCENE

The night grew long as Olivia sat on the floor in front of her television watching the 5th Season of Criminal Order DVD and brainstorming what the necklace would lead them too.

"The necklace was bought at the Internet café, but the fearless necklace is only bought online or at benefits. Maybe he was at a benefit or some how he obtained her necklace. He had to have gotten in the house. Ah." Olivia sighed and rubbed her eyes. She checked her watch, which read 3am. "God, I wish Munch would get back to us. Did you call your wife?"

Olivia turned to see Elliot passed out on her couch. She whispered to him ", Elliot? El."

He softly snored. She got him a blanket and watched his face as he breathed in and out. Slowly she placed the blanket on him and turned off the lamp above his head. His eyes fluttered and his arm moved onto Olivia's hand. She knelt beside him and tried to ease herself away from his body. He muttered in his sleep. "Liv. Livia."

She froze and realized he was dreaming. She kissed him on the cheek and whispered ", Goodnight."

The cell phone on the coffee table vibrated. The text message read ", El are you finished? I'm waiting for you. Love Kathy."

Olivia texted a message back to her. "I'll be there in a few."

She then grabbed her coat and headed for the hospital.


	4. The Others

**The Others **

An anchorwoman stood outside of Michelle Herman's Manhattan townhouse reporting the updates.

"Officials tell us that Michelle Herman, star of NBC's Criminal Order has been raped by what they believe to be an out of control fan. The man was last seen in the Manhattan area wearing a jacket with the initials DH on the left hand pocket. He is said to be armed and totting Michelle's 13-month-old son, Michael. Anyone with information is to call the number on the bottom of your screen."

Kathy blinked her eyes open to watch the television. Michelle Herman appeared on the screen with her husband Robert. She sniffled into a tissue but kept a strong composure like a Greek goddess at the beginning of a tragic play.

"I want to thank all of my fans and supporters for being with me in this time of hopelessness. The sketch of the man at the bottom half of your screen has my son. My son, who is barely a year old, was taken from me. If anyone has any information about my situation please help us by contacting the hotline number below. As the founder of the Hope Heart Foundation I've listened to many horrific stories and held the hands of women and children in need, but nothing could prepare me for a day like this. I beg the man that did this to my family to stop and think about what you are doing and to please return my son safely to his parents. And god bless the people that know my hurt. Stay strong and pray for my son. Thank you."

Kathy turned her head to look out the window and saw Olivia curled up in a chair sound asleep.

"Olivia."

Olivia tossed her head to the side and squinted her eyes open. With a grawgy voice she replied, "Good morning."

Kathy sat up with her hands holding her large tummy. "What are you doing here?"

Olivia yawned and stretched herself in the chair. "I saw your text message to Elliot and I came to give you company."

"Where's Elliot?"

"He fell asleep."

"How did you get his cell phone?"

"He"-Olivia hesitated a bit. She hadn't thought about Kathy's reaction to him falling asleep at her house. She also knew how jealous Kathy could be. "He took a nap at the precinct and told me to wake him if you called but he was so exhausted I couldn't wake him up."

"Oh."

There was an awkward pause and then Kathy continued her skepticism. "So why are you here?"

"I had some down time and you seemed like you needed to talk."

"Well I'm not an unpopular person. I do have friends. I have my fair share of company." She paused and then mumbled under her breath. "But thanks for the thought."

Olivia tried to remain patient. She knew Kathy wasn't always easy to talk to. "Listen, Kathy, I didn't mean to offend you, but I know how terribly lonely and dull sitting in a hospital can be."

"Really? How many children have you had?"

Olivia starred her in the face. Anger tingled throughout her body. "That was uncalled for."

"Sometimes the truth hurts."

Olivia shook her head and gathered her things. "That was by far the most selfish thing I've ever heard you say."

Kathy sat up with rage in her eyes. "You've ruined my life! My husband doesn't talk to me anymore. When he's not playing with the kids or working with you, he's talking about you, or talking with you, or dreaming of you. " Kathy started to cry. "He wakes up screaming your name. Do you know how much that hurts me? He says one thing but does another. The only thing my husband and I have in common anymore is sex and children. All I want is the man I met in high school back. All I wanted was for him to come home last night and hold me and talk to me. Instead, I get you."

Olivia handed her a tissue. "Kathy, I'm sorry. I don't know what to say. I just wanted to help you two out."

"You want to help out? Stay out of our lives."

Olivia grabbed her coat and headed for the door. "If you would just listen to him and yourself every once in awhile you might understand why he chooses his job over you."

Kathy screamed at Olivia. "Get out of my room, Olivia Benson!"

SCENE

A loud buzzing sound woke Elliot up from a hard sleep. He grunted to a sitting position. His hair was messed up, his eyes would barely open, his shirt was off, and he wiped the drool from the side of his face.

The buzzer sounded again. He looked around confused about where he was. "Liv?"

He stood up, fumbled to the door, and pressed the entrance button. He stood in the middle of the living room looking for his shirt when Dean Porter walked through the front door.

"Olivia?"

Elliot spun around and gave a confused wave to Dean. "Hey."

Dean backed up. "Oh, sorry. I didn't realize I was interrupting something."

Elliot pulled the blanket up and found his shirt. "Huh?"

"I forgot my umbrella last night. I just came to get it." He grabbed the umbrella by the door and slide out of the apartment as fast as he could.

Elliot took a second to figure out what just happened and then he raced after Dean to explain. "Dean! Dean, hey, you weren't interrupting anything. I just fell asleep. I think."

Dean took in the wrinkled mess that was Elliot and got into the opening elevator doors. "No need to explain. I get it. Tell Olivia I said hi."

Elliot yelled as the doors closed. "Dean, it's not like that. We were working. I mean, we didn't do that because I was asleep. We didn't do that last night. No, wait, that's not what I meant."

The elevator was gone.

"Fuck!"


	5. The Cat's Pajamas

**AN: This chapter is a little long, but I love the end. Love the R& R thanks!! **

**The Cat's Pajamas **

Olivia started to push through the ever present media in front of the Herman's Manhattan home, when a siren went on and off behind her.

Munch yelled from the squad car. "Hey it's the disappearing woman! Hop in, we've been looking for you."

The media turned to bombard the detectives for information and Olivia jumped in the backseat before she was pummeled with flash photos and boom mics. Fin drove around the block and stopped to the side with a jolt on the brakes.

Olivia spoke with an annoyance and a concerned wrinkle above her nose. "It's 8am. Where the hell have you two been? You were supposed to call me 5 hours ago."

Fin was the first to speak, and by the sarcastic evil tone in his voice she could tell he pulled an all nighter and was on his last strain of caffeine. "It's hard doing a job meant for four people isn't it? Where the hell have you been? We've been calling your phone all damn night. The press has blown this case out of the water. We've got people calling us from Kansas to California to tell us they saw the DH Abductor."

Olivia pulled her phone from her belt. "Is that what they're calling him now? Damn it this stupid phone. It's dead again."

Munch took a peak at Olivia from the front seat and sighed. "Ah, the joy of technology. The battery companies make all the money so the machine never wins. Have you seen your significant other this morning?"

"No. He wasn't at my apartment when I got back so I thought he'd be here or with you two."

Fin pulled his shades away from his blood shot eyes. "At your apartment?"

"Don't even go there, Fin. I'm not in the mood. We were working and he needed a break."

"Working. Is that what they're calling it nowadays?" Munch added with a wink.

Olivia ignored their chuckles and grabbed Munch's phone from his belt. "Gimmie this you stooge."

Munch's eye shot out of his head as she grabbed the phone from his waist.

Fin started laughing uncontrollably. "You should've just seen the look on your face, man. Liv, you don't reach for a mans groin after he burns you like that."

Olivia started dialing Elliot's number. "Yeah well if he keeps yammering on about things he shouldn't, I'm gonna rip more than his phone from that area."

Fin threw his glasses on the seat next to him and lost control of himself while Munch re-enacted Olivia's attitude. Fin was sobbing with laugher and lack of sleep "OH shit man. I can't handle this. I'm getting goofy over here."

Olivia watched the two of them with an un-amused smirk and snapped the phone shut when Elliot didn't' answer. "Shit! I don't know where he is."

Munch took the phone from her hands. "He's with Warner."

"Then why did you ask me where he was?"

Munch grinned ", I didn't ask you were he was. I asked you if you'd seen him."

Olivia was furious. "Ok guys, what are we doing here? Did you find anything in the past 8 hours besides the back of your ass?"

Fin turned to calm her down. "Chill out, Liv. We got an ID. Elliot and Cragen are checking his addresses as we speak."

Munch handed Olivia a photo of a man by the name of Sedrick Shaumberg

Defeated and too tired to stay upset Olivia opened the car door and handed out some orders. "I've got a lead on that necklace. So do me a favor, call a SCU tech. Have them check the Herman's computers and scan for house bugs. I need to get more information from Michelle."

SCENE

Olivia entered the kitchen where Michelle stood in sweat pants and a t-shirt. Her husband handed her a cup of coffee and she held the mug to her chest like a comfort blanket. Her eyes were glazed over as if she were in her own world.

"Coffee?," Michelle asked.

Olivia smiled. "I would love a cup."

Michelle starred at Olivia. "Please excuse my pajamas, detective."

"Please, you don't have to explain that to me. I would stay in my pajamas all day and night if I could."

They both shared a light chuckle and took a moment to feel comfortable with each other.

Michelle to a nervous sip of coffee and began ", Tell me you've got some kind of lead."

"We have IDed the DNA found in the limo and in your rape kit, but as of this moment that's all we have. I need to ask you a few things that might give us a better idea of his where-abouts."

Michelle squeezed Robert's hand insinuating that he should leave. He lightly kissed her on the cheek. "I'm going to help the other detectives collect the computers. Call me if you need me."

"Thank you sweety," She smiled.

Olivia fidgeted as the two of them nestled next to each other with love and support.

Robert left the room as Michelle took in a deep breath and poured Olivia's coffee. "Shoot."

They sat at the kitchen table. Michelle watched Olivia's every move as if she were saving this moment for a scrapbook. For a woman in pajamas, who'd just been raped and watched her child be taken away, she was handling herself in a very dignified self-assured manner.

Olivia almost felt uncomfortable in her presence but she shook if off and replied ", your necklace. How did you lose your necklace?"

"My necklace- Oh" Michelle bent forward and touched the golden box shining from Olivia's neck. "It's nice to know that you support the foundation. It gives me reassurance that we're making a difference."

Michelle's warm hand touched Olivia's skin and it sent a nervous tick down her spin. She had never been this close to a woman that she respected so dearly and now to have her here helping her was like a dream and a nightmare all at the same time. Olivia went to the strong place in her mind and gave Michelle a warm smile. "It's the first place I recommend."

Michelle sat back and took a sip of coffee. "I lost mine about a week ago. There was a benefit at the Hilton."

"The Special Victim's of Manhattan Benefit. I was there. You gave a wonderful speech."

"Thank you" All of the sudden Michelle turned away from Olivia and started to cry. "I don't know how you can do this everyday. I'm trying to so hard to stay strong."

Olivia touched Michelle's hand and rubbed her back. "Michelle, it's ok. You're going through a lot of things right now. Keeping a strong face will not help you to heal. We're gonna get your son back. But you need to take care of your self for him. I'm going to give you my therapist's number. It will help. I promise."

Michelle stood up and hugged Olivia as tightly as she could. " It's such a blessing to have you here with me. You make me feel comfortable."

Olivia smiled and tears came to her eyes. "I'm glad you feel that way."

Michelle recomposed herself and Olivia went on with the questions. "So why did you take the necklace off?"

"I had to do a photo shoot directly after the benefit. It was easier for me to change at the hotel and then be dropped off at the shoot. My assistant packed up my things later that day and brought them back to our home. She's on her way back from her honeymoon. They cut it short when they found out."

"Good. I'm going to need to talk with her as soon as she gets in."

SCENE

Later that day Elliot and Cragen walked into the precinct to find Olivia, Munch, and CSU Tech Burt Trevor clicking through a computer. Olivia pointed at the screen.

"Go to the Hope Hearts Foundation page. See if they have blogs."

The light from the screen brightened Burt's face. "No, but they have a link to Michelle's page. Oh, here she has a blog forum."

"'The Internet Café' There. Go into that room."

Burt clicked on the site and Olivia read one of the blogs out loud. "Here wait. 'DHFan. DH is the badest Motha out there. Way to tap that ass D! D/A shipper love in the house. ' What does that mean?"

Burt looked up at her. "Dan and Alison. They hooked up on the show last week. It was a big to do."

"Dan Hearting, the untouchable detective with the ADA? Really? I can't believe I missed that one. That's not a typical Criminal Order story line," Olivia replied unsure if she was upset at the writers or sad that she missed the episode.

Elliot pushed his head between Olivia and Burt. "Oh no, Liv, look out it's a shark!"

Munch folded a piece of gum into his mouth. "The shark! I haven't heard that term in awhile."

Elliot nudged Olivia "Next thing you know Sophie and Mel will be making out in the broom closet and having babies. I sense the series is coming to an end."

Olivia turned her face to Elliot's with a deadpan expression. He winked at her and the cold reaction to his comment melted. She swallowed and remained focused. "What did you two find?"

Cragen sat on the corner of a desk looking at the computer screen in front of Burt. "The house was empty. He must have run."

Elliot reached around Olivia, touching her back as he grabbed a folder from his desk. "But we did find his bank account. Looks like our DH Fan has made a hefty amount of cash."

Olivia turned into Elliot to look at the account history. Elliot's arm was around her now and they both fell comfortably into their work. "How much?"

"$500,000." Elliot loved to watch her concentrate. He could stay next to her like that all day. "We traced it to a money order and got this guy on tape."

Eliot flipped the pages over to a photo of a man in a baseball cap and a black trench coat.

Olivia looked closely at the photo. "Is this the best shot you have? It's pretty unclear."

Cragen sighed ", unfortunately the other cameras in the store weren't running. It's the only angle they had. Where's Fin?'

"He's checking security tapes from the Hilton Hotel," Munch answered.

Cragen checked his watch. "Well, I say it's time for a break. Whoever wants dinner, go for it. Meet back here in an hour."

Elliot slapped Olivia on the backside and grabbed his coat ", Mario's?"

Olivia smiled ", Sure."

Munch and Burt headed for the elevators grumbling about politics and the democrats.

As Olivia reached for her coat Dean Porter walked into the room. Olivia stopped. "Dean. What are you doing here?"

With a sullen expression Dean nodded and looked at Cragen. "I'm here to speak with Don."

"What can I do you for Porter," Cragen asked with concern on his face.

Dean pulled some papers from his pocket. "Ah, it's private."

The blood rushed to Elliot's head when he saw the pink form. "Dean. Hey, you know I never got to explain earlier."

"It's Ok. There's no need."

Dean and Cragen left for his office and closed the door.

Elliot sat on his desk with hunched over shoulders and rubbed his face.

Olivia dropped her coat and grabbed Elliot's arm. "What was that all about?"

"I can take a guess. This morning Dean stopped by and found me in your living room shirtless. I tried to explain but he took it the wrong way."

Olivia's eyes grew wide. "What did you say to him?"

Elliot pounded his fist on the desk and yelled in a whisper. " I said I fucked you. What do you think I said?!"

"Elliot, I'm already on probation. What the hell were you doing with your shirt off? And why was Dean in my living room?"

"Liv, I know. I didn't know it was him."

Olivia paced back and forth. Fury vibrated from her body. "Elliot, I'm finished. How could you do this to me?"

"Damn-it, Olivia, you act like I was aware of the situation. You left me in your apartment! And then you- you went to be with Kathy! I mean, what was that? I'm not even going to tell you what she told me this morning. No wait- what she screamed at me this morning."

"I was only trying to help. How was I to know she was such a selfish bag of hormones- AHuh-" Olivia bit her tongue. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean that. Ok I did, but she provoked it."

"And you didn't? Olivia you need to learn how to keep your nose out of it."

"And you need to learn how to take care of yourself."

"Why can't you trust me?"

"When you start coming to work with more than 3 hours of sleep, maybe I'll start trusting you. I mean, come on Elliot, you carry a gun. It's time to make some choices with your life and straighten up."

They glared at each other with rage. Elliot knew she was right, and he loved and hated her for it. It was a fickle situation for both of them. Elliot bent over his desk and waited for something to happen.

Olivia watched him unable to be the stability he depended on. She couldn't bring herself to be that woman today. She walked away from him and sucked on her thumbnail contemplating what she would say if Dean was in fact breaking their duo. Finally she paused and looked at her distraught partner. "Ok we both need to get a hold of ourselves. It might not have anything to do with this morning. Dean is a pretty reasonable man."

Elliot gave her an eyebrow. "Was that before or after you didn't slept with him?"

Cragen opened the door of his office "Elliot, I need to talk to you."

Olivia watched him slowly strut in the room past Dean with a wild twitch in his body and anger in his eyes.

Dean ignored Olivia and started for the doors.

"What did you do, Dean?"

Dean stopped and looked into Olivia's furious eyes. "I did it for your own good, Olivia."

"I don't need you to look out for me."

"Apparently, you do."

" Dean, it was a misunderstanding. Elliot and I were working on a case."

"At your apartment? Liv, that's a good way to get yourself fired."

"Elliot and I are strictly professional-"

Dean pulled her close to him. "I did not put my ass on the line so that you could dally with your partner."

Olivia was almost speechless. She could sense Dean was hiding something. "You're jealous."

"He's married. Just break it off."

"There's nothing to break off!"

"You know, I didn't think that you were the kind of woman who lied to herself."

Olivia slapped him in the face.

Dean stood in front of her stunned at her actions. He loosened his jaw and left before she could react any further.

The door to Cragen's office opened. Elliot pushed past Olivia and slammed the wall with the palm of his hand as he exited the building.

Cragen handed Olivia the pink slip. "You're to start your probation as of today. When you get back you'll have a new partner."

"Captain, I'm in the middle of this case. Dean over reacted."

"Olivia, go home."

SCENE

Olivia sat on her couch in a cotton T-Shirt and underwear, talking to her brother Simon on the phone. "I don't know what to do Simon. He's the healthiest relationship I've ever had and for the record, not that it matters, it's never been physical. "

"You need a vacation. We should go to the beach."

"That sounds wonderful, but I can't leave the city while I'm on probation. The whole thing is ridiculous. All of the sudden I feel like I can't seem to make anything in my life right. It's like the universe is forcing me to change but I just want things to stay the same. I liked having something stable in my life. My job, my partner, it was stable."

"I'm your stable, Liv. Fuck your job. You should quit. Fuck'n bureaucrats. What the hell do they know? "

Olivia smiled ", Oh Simon. If only it were that easy."

Simon laughed ", How about this, I'll bring Billy up to see you. We can go to the park or something."

"That sounds great. I'm in."

Olivia's buzzer sounded.

"Simon, I gotta go."

"Ok. Goodnight big sis."

"Night little bro."

Olivia hung up and pressed the door button. Two minutes later Olivia peeked through the crack in her door. Elliot stood in the hallway. He was soaking wet. Raindrops were running down his face. "Can I come in?"

"You're all wet."

"Raining." Breathless he took in deep breaths and put his hand on the door to open it.

She stopped him. "Did you take the steps?"

He nodded ", it was faster. Will you let me in."

"Give me a second I'm in my pajamas.

"I don't care." He pushed open the door and dropped his wet coat on the floor next to his feet.

"Are you ok? "

Elliot had never seen Olivia's pajama's before. Her legs went on for miles. And for a woman who rarely saw the sun, her skin was dark and smooth. He stood in front of her with a lose for words and a slacked jaw.

"Elliot, what's going on-"

Elliot placed his fingertips over her mouth. "I just need you to answer one thing for me."

She blinked.

He slowly dropped his hand from her mouth and starred at her face for a moment. His lips were partially open and his face was almost sad.

Olivia almost turned to get him an aspirin and he stopped her. She could feel it coming and it was the first time in her life that she didn't refuse the thought.

Elliot brought both of his hands to her hair and touched it softly. Ever so slightly he touched his lips to hers. A release of energy sank to the pit of his stomach as she kissed him back. The light feeling of their mouths opening and closing became intense and Elliot fought to control himself from going any further. He pulled away and turned around. He was breathing heavily. Without facing her he grabbed his coat from the floor. "Thank you. I'm sorry. I just..I couldn't..I-"

Olivia almost laughed at him. "Elliot what was-"

"I had to see what all the fuss was about."

Leaning on her door Olivia smiled. Somehow fear of being with men was different with Elliot. Her head was ground. She smirked at his shy retreat for the door. "And?"

"And it was worth it." He opened the door to leave and she touched his arm.

"Don't leave."

Breathing heavily he dropped his coat and pulled her into his body. She slide her hand down his muscular arms and than ripped off his shirt. Olivia grabbed his lips with hers and ran her hands through his hair. Elliot touched her side brushing a hand across her breast. She moaned and pulled him away from the wall. They awkwardly kissed and touched their way into Olivia's dark bedroom. She pushed him on the bed and unzipped his pants releasing the bulge from inside. He stopped her and brought her face to his. "You're beautiful."

She uncomfortably smiled and turned her face. "Stop," she whispered.

"You're prettier than Michelle Herman."

"Ok, now you're just patronizing me."

He touched her face. "No, don't do that to yourself. Liv, you are the most amazing woman I've ever met and I've never had the balls to say it to you."

She kissed his hand and lay on the bed next to him with her head on his shoulder. "We shouldn't be doing this."

Elliot looked at the ceiling and played with her hair. "Says who? Dean Porter."

"No, your marriage certificate."

Elliot lay still next to her. "Yeah. Should I leave?"

Olivia thought about it for a moment and swallowed hard ", I don't know."

Neither one of them wanted to move. They held each other in silence. A cat meowed in the alley below and a clock slowly ticked as they drifted asleep."


	6. The Fray

**AN**: You all are awesome. Thanks for the reviews. Enjoy and drop me a line. I write faster when you do.

**The Fray**

Elliot and his new partner, Chester Lake, ran full speed down the sidewalk in Chinatown. A skinny man with a blue jacket and a black duffel bag pushed his way through the streets zigzagging around the people and the traffic. He turned down an alley and they lost sight of him.

Lake shouted ", Take the side street. I got him this way."

Elliot ran down the street his heart pounding in his ears. He rounded the corner and found Lake pushing the man to the ground and cuffing him.

"Where's the kid Sedrick?" Lake shouted. "Where's the fucking kid?"

Elliot grabbed the duffle bag and unzipped it. "Lake."

Chester looked at the money inside of the bag.

Elliot bent down and got close to Sedrick's face. "Who paid you?"

Sedrick shuttered and shook his head. He was a weasely man with bad teeth and a nervous air about him.

Elliot's face was red. He was dripping with sweat. He took deep breaths to try and control himself. "Come on Sedrick. This money's still warm. Where's Michael?"

Sedrick closed his eyes and continued to shake his head. He spit and stuttered. "I-I- I don't know what you're talking about. There's no baby."

Lake threw Sedrick against a nearby wall. "Don't fuck with me. Answer my partner's question. Tell me where the baby is?"

Sedrick started to thrash around and scream ", I want my lawyer. You know where the baby is. I don't have the baby."

Out of breath Elliot pulled out his radio and leaned on his knees. "Munch we got him on Laffeyette and 3d Ave. We're bringing him in. I need you to canvas the area. Michael has to be here."

SCENE

Elliot's phone vibrated on the way to the precinct. "Yes honey. In theory, I should be done at 6, but we just got our perp. It's probably going to be a long night."

Elliot rubbed his eyes and sighed. "Kath, I realize that we talked about changes, but this is the wrong week to work on it. Can't you have Maureen do it? I'll try. I can't promise anything."

Elliot flipped his phone shut and grumbled to himself.

"Have problems with the Mrs.?"

"Something like that."

"Ladies. They don't get it. I gave up dating a long time ago. Women can't handle the lifestyle."

"Some of them can't."

SCENE

Elliot sat in front of Sedrick and his lawyer, Dennis Jackmen, in the interrogation room. "Sedrick, we have your DNA on the victim and the crime scene. And there's over a million dollars in your bank account. Now how do you explain that?"

"I told you it was a bet. I won a bet."

Lake circled around Sedrick and his lawyer. "You won a bet? What kind of bet?"

Sedrick's lawyer held his pen in the air. "You don't have to answer that."

Elliot jerked his chair back. "Ok you won a bet. Explain your client's sperm on the inside of my victim. That alone will charge you guilty for rape and kidnapping."

"Ah, actually your victim can't prove that my client took the child. It's written in her statement that she doesn't remember what happened after the rape. And witnesses found her unconscious. So guilty for rape, but kidnapping is a stretch."

Elliot got up in the lawyers face. "He was the last person to be with the child. I don't care how you twist it any jury would find him guilty."

Sedrick's lawyer whispered to him. Dennis looked at Elliot ", What kind of deal can you give him?"

"25 if he tells us where Michael is. 15 if we get him back unharmed"

"Twenty-five that's not deal. He didn't' murder anyone, Jesus."

Lake shook the table. "That we know of. Tell us where he is Sedrick. Come on, you know. What'd you do, sell him to one of your perv buddies. "

Sedrick started to cry and shake. "No!"

"Aw the baby stole a baby and now he's gonna cry about it."

Dennis stood up in defense. "Detective, this is unlawful behavior."

Sedrick pushed the table violently and screamed violently. "NO! I don't know where he is. I can't remember. I wrote it down. I gave it to you. I can't remember."

"Sedrick, don't say anymore. Detectives my client needs a break."

Sedrick was on the floor shaking. George Wong entered the room with a syringe in his hand. "This man is having a severe panic attack. Back up." George injected the medicine and looked up at Elliot. "He needs to be taken to the psyche ward. You're not going to get any information out of him like this."

Elliot paced around and nodded trying to control his anger and his frustration. "We don't have time for games."

"I understand that, but there's no way this man is going to cooperate in his condition."

George pulled Cragen, Lake, and Elliot to the side. "This man is unstable. If you don't allow me to examine him you could lose the information altogether."

Lake scratched his chin in annoyance. "So what does that mean? Because he's crazy now he's excused for the day?"

"No, Sedrick, is showing signs of shock and trauma. I think this man has been tricked and possibly tortured. Did you see the way he was cowering and how he rocked back and forth? Without proper medication he'll be useless to you. Give me a few hours."

Elliot slammed the door open and headed toward his desk. "Make it quick. I can't handle a bad ending today."

Elliot sat at his desk. He looked at the empty chair in front of him and thought about Olivia. Her notebook was still on her desk. He reached for it to review the notes. He flipped through the pages. His mind was so full of emotions and undecided choices that her always-legible handwriting became bleary. He closed his eyes and took in a breath. He'd been trying to make his marriage work for 6 months now and he still hadn't moved in nor had he taken the wedding band out of its' box. He held his head in one hand and closed his eyes. What could possibly keep him from jumping back into the swing of things? He thought he knew exactly what he wanted at one time but now things were different or actually the same again. How happy Kathy would be with a new baby. The vision of its tiny hands etched in his brain. Olivia's notebook stayed in his other hand and his thumb started to rub the corners. He smelled the pages. Her perfume remained in the paper. The images of the tiny baby washed into the thought of Olivia holding it. She always lit up around children. It brightened a room.

"Hey, day dreamer-" Fin shot a wade of paper at Elliot's head. "You're phone's ringing."

Elliot snapped out of his thoughts and grabbed his cell phone. "Ah." Kathy's cell phone number appeared on the screen. He clicked end and looked up at Fin. "Hey, what did you find on those Hilton security tapes?"

"A whole lot of nothing. We got the assistant and the maid. There was no sign of Sedrick or the man in the black baseball cap."

Elliot nodded. "Hmm."

"Why?"

"Liv, had that hunch about the necklace and the hotel. I just thought we'd get something from it."

Lake came into the room with coffee. "She called about an hour ago."

"Liv? Why didn't you tell me?"

"I thought the case was in the bag." Lake pulled out his notes. " Here, she said something about logging onto the Internet Café blog. Find the Fearless entry."

The three of them hunched over Olivia's computer and pulled up the information. Lake clicked on the blog and sat up straight. "Got it, 'Fearless: This episode is my favorite. It takes you to the exact address. The numbers are key. When you get there find the spot where Sophie and Mel had their first cup of coffee.' "

Elliot wrote down the notes as Lake spoke. "The number is key?"

Fin looked at him. "What's that suppose to mean?"

"I don't-" the vibration of his phone interrupted him again. Kathy's name scrolled across the screen. Elliot ignored it again. This time he pressed end and threw the phone in his desk drawer.

Munch walked to his desk and laughed. "You still trying to make that work?"

Elliot held his head trying to concentrate on the case. "Shut it, Munch. All right so we're looking for an address."

"How do we know this is even from our guy?", Lake asked.

Fin smiled and walked to his desk. "Because Olivia said so, and when Olivia says so, Elliot does it."

Elliot got defensive. "What's that suppose to mean?"

Fin held his hands in the air and tried to prove his point. "I'm just saying you got you're balls in a vice, man. Two women at each end. You need to take a minute and get the facts."

"Jesus Christ, am I the only who's working on this case."

Munch wiped the sandwich off of his face. "Elliot, he's just trying to point out that you should make some rational decisions before you go wasting your life on a mouse hunt."

Elliot squeezed the pressure points between his eyes. "I don't- what are we talking about here?"

Fin stood up and pointed at the photos on the screen. "We got Sedrick. He's obviously our man, but why? He's smuggling this baby for somebody. He's being paid. Why would he lead us to the baby through riddles and clues on an internet site."

Lake clicked on a website. "Because he's in love with Michelle Herman."

Elliot bent over the desk to see Sedrick's website filled with photos of Michelle Herman and poems dedicated to her and her family. "We got ourselves a Perp with a conscience."

"Sedrick doesn't want to hurt Michelle." Lake added.

"So why'd he rape her," Munch prodded.

Elliot threw out some answers. "Maybe he didn't think he was rapping her. Maybe he was told too. Grab your coat Lake, we need Olivia's Criminal Order collection.

Munch jammed the rest of his sandwich in his mouth "Make sure you keep a chaperone this time, Stabler."

"I will hurt you."

Fin answered the phone and placed the receiver to his ear. "Elliot, your old lady is on the phone."

Elliot hesitated and thought to himself ", **_I never knew_**

**_I never knew that everything was falling through"_**

He could feel the pressure as the three guys waited for the answer.

"**_That everyone I knew was waiting on a queue_**

**_To turn and run when all I needed was the truth._**"

He grabbed his coat and said to Fin as he left the precinct. ", Tell her I'll call her later."

Elliot and Lake walked silently to Olivia's apartment. Elliot couldn't get out of his mind. Everybody's face meshed together like a bad funhouse nightmare.

"**_But that's how it's got to be_**

**_It's coming down to nothing more than apathy_**

**_I'd rather run the other way than stay and see_**

**_The smoke and who's still standing when it clears_**"

Lake handed Elliot a cigarette. "Take this. You need it."

"I don't smoke."

"Suit yourself."

"**_Everyone knows I'm in_**

**_Over my head_**

**_Over my head_**

**_With eight seconds left in overtime_**

**_She's on your mind_**

**_She's on your mind_**"

Elliot could feel himself getting excited. He felt like a schoolboy sneaking off to see his girlfriend. Her eyes, her smile, her face. He'd starred at them a million times and still he needed more. The need was so over whelming that it scared him.

"**_Let's rearrange_**

**_I wish you were a stranger I could disengage_**

**_Just say that we agree and then never change_**

**_Soften a bit until we all just get along_**

**_Everyone knows I'm in_**

**_Over my head_**

**_Over my head_**

**_With eight seconds left in overtime_**

**_She's on your mind_**

**_She's on your mind"_**

Lake exhaled the smoke like a rustic cowboy and made an attempt to get Elliot out of his head. "So you're having a baby huh?"

"Yeah."

"What's that like at your age?"

"Honestly, it's the most exhausting thought of my life."

Lake laughed. "That's never good."

"No."

"What's the wife's take on it?"

"Um, she's pretending to be happy. **_And suddenly I become a part of your past_**

**_I'm becoming the part that don't last_**

**_I'm losing you and its effortless_**

**_Without a sound we lose sight of the ground_**

**_In the throw around_**

**_Never thought that you wanted to bring it down_**

**_I won't let it go down till we torch it ourselves"_**

"So why the partner change?"

"We were told the relationship was too strong to remain professional."

"What the hell does that mean?"

"You got me."

"Did you bang her?"

"**_Everyone knows I'm in_**

**_Over my head_**

**_Over my head_**

**_With eight seconds left in overtime_**

**_She's on your mind_**

**_She's on your mind_**"

They got to Olivia's apartment and Lake stopped to answer his cell phone.

"Ah, sure, he's right here. Hang on. Elliot, it's for you. Seems important."

"Daddy?"

Elliot could hear the tears in Maureen's voice. "Maureen, what's wrong?"

"It's mom. She lost the baby."

Elliot dropped the phone from his ear and sank to the ground.

"Daddy?"

Slowly he talked into the receiver. "I'll be there as soon as I can."

Elliot dropped the phone and walked into the middle of the street. A cab driver slammed on his breaks and cussed as Elliot opened the door and got in.

"**_Everyone knows I'm in_**

**_Over my head_**

**_Over my head_**

**_With eight seconds left in overtime_**

**_She's on your mind_**

**_She's on your mind_**"

AN:::AHHHHH I LOVE THE FRAY. AND I LOVE SONG FICS. HOPE YOU ENJOYED. SHALOM!


	7. Stand In

AN: Just wanted to drop a line to all of the reviewers. You guys are fun. I can't stop writing this because of you. My friends think that my computer ate my brain. Anyway, here it is. Enjoy! Also, I put some refrences to a few old plays in this chapter---oh and one classic movie, and I'm wondering if anyone will get them. So I'm gonna make a game of it, just because I'm interested to see how many of you know your classic theater/actresses. One of them is really obscure thougha dn I really dont' think anyone will get it, but hey it'd be super cool if you did. ANYWAY- If somebody does get any one of the references (as in the name of the play/movie and the character or actor) I will somehow add you to the story and write what ever twist you would like to see into the story. But you can't e-mail your twist idea to the review board. Once you win you can e-mail me the idea and I will tell everyone when I write it that it was your idea. Because then it wouldn't be a twist it would be a predictable flaw. And nobody enjoys that! Have fun fools!

**Stand In**

Don Cragen sat in his office brainstorming the Herman case. His boss was down his back and he lost both of his best detectives within 48 hours.

Munch knocked on the door and stuck his head around the corner. "Cap, Wong and Shuamberg have entered the building.

Cragen's face turned bright red with sweat as he popped another pill for his heart condition and nodded to answer Munch.

"You all right?", Munch asked.

"Yeah. John and Fin need run the Herman case for a while. I have to fill in for Elliot. His wife just lost the baby."

"Oh no. That's terrible."

"Yeah. It's a real mess. He and Liv are out for at least a week. Hopefully less than a week. Listen, we have to wrap this case. Everyone's on my ass and there's a missing baby out there, who, god help us, is still alive."

"We got it covered. I'll send Liv a stack of paper work to take off the work load and we'll push the perp."

"Thanks John."

As Munch left, Cragen picked up his portable and spoke into the microphone. "Lake, where are you?"

"I'm at a coffee shop called Café Gabrielle on Seventh Ave. Captain, I think you're gonna want to re-interview the victim. We're missing something. Sedrick has planted clues everywhere he went. Now, I'm not sure, but I think he's trying to help us."

"What did you find?"

"I have a video tape and a number, which I can only guess has something to do with next clue, possibly another CO episode."

"A video tape of what?"

"Sedrick and a woman in a blonde wig."

"Stay where you are. I'll be there in a few."

SCENE

Kathleen and Maureen were packing their mother's things when Elliot rushed through the door. Kathy, who was sitting in a wheelchair with red eyes and her coat on turned her face away from him. "Kathleen, tell your father to go home."

Kathleen looked at her father with wide sad eyes. He touched her on the arm and moved her to the side. "Kathy, don't do this."

"Elliot, I can't deal with you right now. I can't speak to you. I can't look at you. Please just go. Leave me alone."

"Kathy, I messed up. We don't have to talk about it right now, but I will not ignore this. "

Kathy started to uncontrollably sob into her hand. "I called you all day. Why weren't you here?"

"Kath, I was at work."

"I had to go through this alone, Elliot. You couldn't take one minute out of your day to make sure my calls weren't important?"

Elliot knelt on the ground with his head in his hands. "Kathy I never meant for this to happen. God, I don't know what to say. Please, will you- Kathy, will you please just look at me."

Kathy scrunched her eyes closed and muttered quickly into her hand. "Please leave."

Elliot stood up and wiped the tears from his eyes.

Kathleen and Maureen watched their father blankly turn and leave the room. His world was spinning out of control as he walked down the hallway. The other nurses and patients passed him with concern and then he suddenly paused. His heart was swelling with anger and sadness. He felt like a foolish narcissist. Life was moving around him and there he was thinking about his partner and begrudging his wife for attempting to care. He grabbed a trashcan and threw it to the floor while screaming and sobbing hysterically.

A nurse grabbed him and tried to calm him down. His stress levels skyrocketed him to vomit all over himself and fall to the floor in a dizzy haze. Kathleen ran from her mother's hospital room and took her father by the hand. "Daddy, it's ok. Calm down."

He held onto her tightly. "I don't know what to do. Kathleen, just tell me what to do. I can't do this anymore. I can't. It was my fault. I can't stop myself. Please stop me from doing this. Please."

"It's not your fault. We're gonna be ok. Just calm down."

SCENE (Two Days Later)

Sedrick sat in the interrogation room while Munch and Casey prepared Michelle for the interview.

Casey sat in front of Michelle and gently talked to her. " We have evidence from a video tape that a man and woman have taken your son. Sedrick is the last person that saw your son and he's the only lead we have to catching this couple as of now. Unfortunately he's mentally unstable. We need you to think really hard about the people in your life. Is there _anyone _you can think of that would want to take your son?"

Michelle looked at Robert and thought for a moment. "No. No. We're very close to everyone in our lives including the people who work for us. I can't imagine any of them doing something like this."

Munch watched Michelle and added, " What about strange encounters. Do you remember anyone unusual or different hanging around or watching you with Michael?"

Michelle's eye swelled with tears. "No. I mean it's possible. I've taken him to a thousand benefits and film shootings. There are over a thousand strangers I work off and on with."

"And none of them stuck out?"

"No." Michelle said with a sigh.

Munch warmly nodded to reassure the two stressed parents. "That's fine. That's completely understandable, but let us know if you think of anything, please."

Casey walked around the table and sat in a chair next to Michelle. "Ok, so right now we have two unclear images and it's just not enough. "

Robert leaned into Casey. "Ok then what can we do to get this going?"

"We need Michelle to talk to Sedrick."

Michelle shot up in her seat. "What? No!"

Munch touched her hand lightly. "Sedrick is stuck in a psychotic episode that he had on or close after your situation."

Michelle wrung her hands together and fidgeted nervously. "I don't understand. If you're sure that he's the man then why can't you just make him tell us where Michael is?"

"It's not that easy. We've probing Sedrick for two days and it's gotten us nothing. You see Sedrick has a mental disorder that causes him to fall into fits of paranoia and manic episodes. These episodes can take months to recover from fully and until we get him to come out of it he can't tell us any information. We need him to remember who he's working for and we think if you talk to him it may trigger his mind to the night of the abduction."

"I don't know if I feel comfortable doing that. I mean, what are the chances that he will give us the information we need."

"We don't know, but at this point it's worth a try. Michelle you have nothing to lose. I will be with you at all times and you can stop at any moment."

Michelle thought about it for a moment and starred at her husband.

"Honey, you don't have to do this." Robert said as he held her hand.

"What do I have to do?"

Munch stood next to the table and knelt down next to them. "Michelle, you just follow my lead. We're going to make him feel comfortable. Introduce yourself. Make him feel like you want to get to know him. Like he's your friend. We'll start off slow and then I'll start to ask him a few questions about that night. I'll be next to you the whole time. At any moment you need to stop we will stop."

"It's like acting." Casey added.

Michelle closed her eyes and stood up. Robert kissed her and waited in the hallway.

Michelle followed Munch to the interrogation room. As he went to open the door Michelle started to hyperventilate. "Stop. I can't do it. I can't breath. I can't. I can't."

Michelle's eyes fluttered and she started to sway. Munch caught her before she fell to the ground. "Somebody get a medic please."

Robert, Michelle's husband, ran from the hallway to be next to her. "She's under too much pressure. She can't go through this. There has to be another way."

Munch checked Michelle's pulse and waved Robert away. "Mr. Herman I understand that. Let's give her some air, please. We'll think of something else."

A policeman entered the space and took Michelle's pulse as she opened her eyes.

Munch walked away and gave Casey a look of concern.

"Now what?", Casey puffed.

"We need to make her more comfortable."

"Where's Liv? Isn't she close to the victim."

"Yeah, but she's on probation. She won't be back for another 3 days."

Casey cracked her knuckles in annoyance. "Can't we make an exception?"

"You're the lawyer find an exception."

Casey watched Michelle and Robert walk to a bench and converse as she thought about the situation. Suddenly she slapped Munch on the arm. "I got it."

"What?"

"Liv's gonna be our victim."

"How do you figure that?"

"Michelle is going to hire her as a stand in. "

"Isn't that stretching it?" Munch questioned.

"Yeah, but with the right makeup she could pass."

"No, I meant, legally."

Casey grinned and tapped Munch on the chest with her pen. "Ye have little faith in me dark prince."

Munch swallowed hard and turned a shade of red after Casey turned for the telephone.

SCENE

Olivia sat in the locker room of the 16th Precinct while a flighty thin man in make-up and a tight pink t-shirt, named Jeremy, layered her face and hair with all the essentials to become a glamorous television star.

"Honey your cheek bones are to die for. Have you thought about modeling? You could sell a lot of calendars for the NYPD, let me tell yeah."

Olivia smiled and rolled her eyes. "As flattering as that sounds, Jeremy, I'd rather keep my modeling disguise a secret."

Casey walked into the room with a disposable camera and took three quick shots of Olivia. "You are one hot cookie, Olivia Benson."

"Casey, I swear to god, if you called me in here to black male me I will make your life incredibly hard."

Casey threw the camera into a shopping bag and pulled out a pink dress. "That's the thing Liv, technically, I didn't call you in for this little charade. Let's not forget it was, Michelle Herman, and she wants you to wear this Oh-so scandalous pink dress."

Olivia took one look at the glittering cocktail dress and grabbed Jeremy's hair spritzing hand from moving around her head. "Casey, I'm not wearing that."

"Why not?"

"Because technically I still have to work here after today."

"Well that's too bad. This is what she was wearing the night of and we're trying to create atmosphere, so buck up and push up girlfriend." Casey threw a strapless bra at Olivia's head and strutted towards the door. "See you in ten."

SCENE

Casey and Munch waited for Olivia at Munch's desk when Elliot walked through the doors in a black suit and tie.

Munch dropped his files. "Hey my man, you need something?"

Elliot pulled open several of his desk drawers and stripped the insides of each one chaotically searching for something. It had been three days since the incident but he was still shaken and withdrawn from the world. "Cell phone. I can't find my cell phone."

Casey stood up and sifted through the papers and office supplies on his desk. "Here." She handed him the black phone. "How are you?"

"I'm…taking it one day at a time. I'm on my way to the church. They're having a small ceremony for us."

Casey's eyes grew red and she reached out and gave him a hug. "Elliot, I'm so sorry this happened to you guys."

Elliot stood stock-still. His eyes were emotionless. He wasn't sure how to feel and he wasn't sure that he wanted anyone to feel sorry for him or his stillborn son. "Thanks. I'm gonna head out."

Her voice came from around the corner as her angelic form waltzed in the room like a truck driver with hips. "All right let's get this over with before I get fired for being too hot— Elliot."

Elliot blinked back the surprise from his mind. "What's the occasion?"

Olivia tried to hold back her smile and brushed off the stares with a smart-ass remark. "It's the new uniform. But don't worry I saved the last turquoise one for you."

Elliot smiled for the first time in days. "I can't wait."

Olivia looked at his sad face with sympathy. She could sense his hurt and it cut her insides like a dull blade.

Everyone awkwardly shuffled about the tension in the room. Elliot, who realized he was starring at Olivia, forced himself to look at the ground and quickly turned to leave. "I'll see you guys. I don't want to be late for the…you know."

"That was awkward and depressing", Casey said after Elliot was gone. She quickly started to organize the contents of Elliot's desk.

Olivia nervously twiddled with the bottom of her dress.

Fin broke the silence. "Liv, you ready? I got him set up for you."

Olivia quietly replied with a "Yeah" and headed for the room. Michelle and Robert sat in chairs behind the double-sided mirror.

"Thanks again Olivia." Michelle added.

"I just hope it works."

"You look great. I hope I look half as good as you do in that dress."

Olivia smiled. "Thanks."

She walked in the room with a shyness in her body language.

Fin was the first to speak. "Sedrick we have a visitor for you."

Sedrick's eyes light up at the sight of Olivia and he gasped. "Michelle Herman. Sophie Dickson. I – I – I'm a big fan. A big fan."

Olivia smiled. "I hear that." She held out her hand and he took it with a shaky sweaty palm. "It's nice to meet you, Sedrick."

"Wow, this is a dream come true. A dream. A real dream."

Sedrick held onto Olivia's hand as they sat down and Olivia went with it hoping that something would spark. "So what's your favorite episode Sedrick?"

"All of the episodes with you or EJ Christopher. I like Detective Daniel too. But you are the best. You are so wonderful. You are a real hero."

Olivia laughed and slowly fell into the character. "Thank you so much. You are such a sweetheart."

Sedrick laughed and rubbed the sides of his blushing cheeks with embarrassment.

"Sedrick, I saw your webpage. Did you write all of those wonderful things about me?"

"Yes. I write everything for you. I make everything for - everything is for you. I've been to every place that you've been to. Every place."

"Is that why you have so many pictures?"

"Yes, but I get them from other people too."

"What other people?"

"People that I talk to online. They're my friends."

"Have you ever done a favor for your online friends?"

Sedrick coolly sat in his chair answering Olivia's questions. "Sure. I'd do anything for my friends."

"Can you tell me the last favor you did for a friend?"

Sedrick's eyes fell to his knees. "Yes, but it wasn't a friend."

"Who was it?"

"They lied to me."

Fin sat in the corner amazed at how Olivia could just turn on the charm so quickly. He watched Sedrick transform into a calm almost healthy minded human being with just a few glances of her bright smile and sweet conversation.

On the other side of the mirror Munch, Casey, Michelle, and Robert watched the scene play out before them like a suspenseful action film.

"Wow, she's good." Michelle said with her mouth open. "Do I really talk like that?"

Voices interrupted their intrigue. "Munch what the hell is Olivia doing in there? Do you want to get us all fired?"

"Captain, it's not what you think?"

Cragen was winded and his face was beat red. "When I asked you to handle things I didn't mean for you to break the rules."

Casey stepped in. "Don, it's ok, it's all legal. Olivia is standing in for Michelle. She's not on our clock."

"Like hell she isn't. I want her out of there."

Cragen reached for the doorknob when Casey stopped him. "Do you want to end this case? Because taking her out of there is gonna set us back."

"Don't you dare- ah" Don stopped and held his chest.

Casey touched his arm. "Are you ok?"

"No. Get my pills. Ah! I think I'm having a-" Don fell to his knees. "Oh- my heart."

Munch forced him to the floor. "Somebody call a bus. He's having a heart attack."

SCENE

A priest stood in front of the small group of people and finished his last prayer. The tiny casket was placed in the ground and the Stabler's intimate family members sniffed into Kleenex's as they said their final good byes. Elliot was the last to leave. Olivia stood next to a mausoleum just far enough to be hidden but close enough to bid her private blessings. After Kathy and the kids drove away she walked towards Elliot and stood next to him.

He could feel her before she even approached him. Her warmth stained his skin. Just the thought of her being there, made him feel guilty and awful inside. He couldn't look at her.

She looked at the tiny hole and tried to stay strong for him. "It's not your fault."

Elliot took a moment to answer. He just starred into the ground. "I neglected to be a father. That's my fault."

"Elliot, out of all the years I've known you I could never say that you neglected to be a father. It was out of anybody's control that this happened."

Elliot started to walk away from her. "Why are you here?"

"Because you needed somebody."

"I need to rot in hell."

"You're being too hard on yourself."

He stopped and looked at her for the first time. "My whole family looks at me like I'm a murder. And they're right."

"I'm sure you're over reacting. Give them some time."

Elliot started to get upset and kept trying to walk away. "Olivia, you can't even begin to understand. What do you even know about it? What do you know about time and family and making hard decisions? You run from everything."

Olivia could feel her insides go numb with hurt. "Yeah, Elliot you're right. I run from a lot of shit. But I _never_ ran from you. "

Elliot became very cold at the thought of Olivia staying so loyal to their estranged relationship. "Why is that?"

"Elliot, let's not get into this here."

"Why? Do you need to run from something?"

"There is a time and a place for everything and I will not have this fight next to your son's grave."

Elliot violently grabbed Olivia by the arm. "Yes you will. You will have this argument, because I need to know why I left my wife to be with you. And so now is the perfect time to get into it. Tell me Olivia, why do you care so god damn much?"

She pulled away her arm and sucked back the tears. The longer she spoke the harder it was to control. "You want to add oil to the fire, ok fine. You could of transferred a long time ago, Elliot. There were plenty of good reasons for you to do it. Any unit in the city would have taken you. You could have patched up your marriage. You could have fucked that Dani for 6 months. You could have ignored all of the accidental touches and glances, all of the rumors and accusations. And if you didn't care for me like I care for you, you wouldn't have asked me to answer that question for you. So why don't _you_ tell me, Elliot. Why? Why are you here? Why did you stay? Give me one good reason and if leaving is what you want me to do, I will be so fucking predictable that running won't even be able to describe it."

For the first time in weeks Elliot felt like a weight was being lifted from his chest. His anger slowly subsided as he watched the tears roll from her eyes. It was like he finally understood why he needed her. Elliot turned to walk back to the grave. His face was lifted and he was almost smiling.

Olivia wiped her nose. She watched him in utter confusion. "Elliot?"

He knelt down in the dirt and rubbed his hands in the fresh soil. He then closed his eyes and held his face to the sky. "Thank you. Thank you Lord. Thank you for opening my eyes. Please take care of my son."

Olivia stood behind him while he knelt in silence.

He turned around and grabbed Olivia with his dirty hands. "Olivia I'm asshole. I am blind." He pulled her down into the dirt and clung to her body. "I can't handle all of this. I'm in a really bad place right now and I should be thanking you for being here with me and instead I'm causing you to cry."

He let go of her and looked at her face. "Please forgive me."

Olivia didn't answer him right away and he could see the conflict on her face. He took his dirty fingers and wiped away her tears leaving smudges of mud and runny makeup on her cheeks. "Sorry." He then took the sleeve of his suit and tried to wipe off the mud.

Olivia pushed him away and started to laugh and cry at the same time. "Elliot Stabler you are like an arrow in my shoulder. God help us all! Throw down a thunderbolt, let the earth swallow me up. How am I supposed to react to this?"

He smiled and replied, "Well does the arrow hurt?"

Olivia laughed through the tears and smeared dirt on his face. "Only when I let it."

Their laughter ended and they each took a glance at the open grave. Olivia took a hold of Elliot's hand and they sat in silence for a moment with their eyes closed. When Elliot felt ready he opened his eyes and pulled Olivia to her feet.

"Shall we?"

They headed for his car covered in dirt.

"We shall, but I must warn you that I am the bearer of bad news."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, one of the reasons why I stopped by was because Cragen was taken to the hospital across the street about an hour ago."

"What?"

"It's ok, he's stable. They're waiting for his daughter to fly in before they make any life changing decisions."

Elliot took in a deep breath and looked at the grey sky. "When it rains it pours."


	8. Rise

AN: This is a short but sweet chapter. Enjoy!

**Rise**

Elliot and Olivia had been volunteered to sit in the waiting room of Sinai Hospital to keep dibs on the status of Captain Don Cragen's heart condition, while the rest of the unit slaved under the never-ending workday. The pair sat next to each other reminiscing about old times and mostly laughing to ease their pains. They talked for hours until finally Olivia's eyes glazed over and blinked to a halt onto Elliot's shoulder. In the course of the evening he managed to sit through 2 hours of the Paris Hilton saga before he decided that watching Olivia breath was much more interesting. Even under the harsh lighting Olivia had a flawless complexion and for a good half an hour she was curled up just enough for him to see the slightest hint of her breast. Up and down it heaved. He could almost imagine the shape of her hard nipple falling out of the black bra under her V-necked sweater. He licked his lips and throbbed in his seat. She made a sound and her hand fell into his lap. He quickly looked around the room almost ashamed of what he just thought. Nobody in the room seemed to notice or look up. His crotch throbbed and the bottom half of his body froze while he loosened the top button of his shirt. Her fingers twitched on his leg. Again his gaze fell upon her neck line and inched it's way to the soft heaving. Up and down, up and down. Her hand was so close to touching the top of his penis that he almost shivered uncontrollably. If he wasn't in public he would have touched himself to ease the pain. He imagined her hand stroking him up and down. He squirmed inside to try and fight the urge. Up and down went the rhythm of her breath. The rise and fall of the mysterious curves under her clothing. Up and down. Elliot's blood pulsed at a rapid speed and he jiggled his leg to fight the feeling in his erection. But her body kept taunting him. Up and down, up and down. He moved a little closer and her fingers touched the head. "Oh," he groaned quietly. His heart beat faster and her hand grew warm in his crotch. "Oh my god," he thought. He was almost at a full climax. His face was beat red and all he could imagine was the movement her hand would make if she weren't asleep. Up and down. He wiggled his hips causing her hand to move over the pulse. Closing his eyes he tried to release himself. Up and down, then-- "Excuse me sir?"

"What?" Elliot jumped out of his skin.

A nurse stood beside him with a smile not knowing what she had just interupted.

"Sorry, didn't mean to scare you. Don's out of surgery. He seems to be holding up well. We'll let you know when he wakes up."

Elliot mouthed a "Thank you", and crossed his legs. He grabbed his coat to wrap around Olivia's shoulders and placed her hand in a safe spot before he embarrassed himself openly.

Slowly he was starting to feel the life enter his being again. He cooled himself down and thought about how happier he suddenly was. He knew that his problems were only at the beginning of an up hill battle, but the release of an 8-year frustration was enough to ground him to a semblance of hope.

Just as he leaned his head next to Olivia's the sun peeked through the windows. His eyes grew heavy and he felt himself slipping away, when Olivia's cell phone hummed under the coat, breaking the serene moment. After the third ring he attempted to reach under the coat without waking her. An old heavyset woman sat across from them and looked up from her crochet. She gave him a dirty look as he wormed his arm around Olivia's middle regions. Giving up, he whispered into her ear. "Liv. Liv, wake up. Your phone is ringing."

"Hm?"

Olivia stiffly pulled Elliot's coat from her shoulder and lifted her head from the side of his arm. "Is he out of surgery?"

"Yes, but your-"

"He's ok?"

"Yes. He's doing fine. Honey, your phone." He grabbed her phone from its holster as she stretched.

"Oh."

Before flipping it open he read the name on its' ID screen. "Oh goody, my favorite person." Elliot's lip sneered as he handed the phone back to her.

She smacked him on the arm and flipped open the top. "Dean."

"Olivia."

"What can I do for you?"

"I need you- well your unit needs- Your unit is taking the Herman investigation to an out of state location. Due to lack of detectives and experience for undercover jobs in the unit I gave my boss a recommendation to cut your probation a few days short."

"Really. And why would you do a thing like that?"

"I've been offered a temporary position at your precinct."

"What do you mean? What position?"

Elliot rubbed the small of her back and threw her a questioning look.

" I'm taking over Don's position until he's fully recovered."

"What?" Olivia pushed Elliot's arm away from her back. He mouthed a "Hey" and touched her hand.

"Dean, when did you decide this? How did you decide this?" Olivia waved Elliot to stop touching her and she stood up away from him.

"Olivia, I've been wanting a change for awhile now. The job came up and I decided to apply. It's just temporary. I need a break from my norm."

"A break? You think being the new Captain of a special victims unit is going to be a break? Dean, I'm sorry but this is a huge mistake."

"Listen, I know you don't trust me, but I'm not taking Don's place I'm just leveling some things out and trying my hand at the job."

"Leveling things? Ack, Ok. I don't know what to say. I hope you know what you're in for."

"Don't worry about it Detective, just get your bags packed, we're taking a trip to Ohio."

"Do I have a choice?"

"Negative. See you in an hour."

The dial tone bleeped in Olivia's ear and she speechlessly turned towards Elliot.

"What the hell was that all about," Elliot asked.

"You're not gonna believe this but Porter just got Cragen's position."

"What?"

"My thoughts exactly. I have to go."

Olivia held her hair from her face as she gathered her things from the hospital chair. "Tell Don I said to get better and I…god, just give him a hug for me."

"Where are you going?"

"I'm back on the Herman case. Porter wants me in Ohio. They have a lead."

"You going alone?"

"No, I don't know. He just said 'we.'" Olivia looked flushed and frustrated. She spoke with an airy concerned voice and backed up towards the hospital exit. "I'll talk to you in a few days."

Elliot was not happy about the way she was reacting to the call. He couldn't allow her to be a part of something that made her uncomfortable and without a second thought he grabbed his coat and followed her. "I'm coming with you."

"No."

"Yes."

"Elliot, he's doing this on purpose. You can't just show up."

Elliot headed down the hall and now she was the one following him. "Like hell I can't," he replied. "It was my god damned case too. What does he know about it?"

Olivia followed as his pace quickened. "You can't force this issue. "

Elliot hit the elevator button as she grabbed him and made him look into her eyes. "Listen to me, we have to be careful. We can not show one ounce of – of -."

"Personal."

"Yes."

"Romance."

"YY Yeah."

"Flirtatious remarks."

"And that."

"Damn, and I was just dieing to bend you over my desk and-"

The same woman who sat in the waiting shuffled past with a look of horror on her face as Elliot smacked the air and swung his hips back and forth.

Olivia turned her face away from him in a stubborn huff. "Elliot, this is serious. I'm being watched by a lot of higher ups and now Dean and his erratic behavior."

The elevator opened and Elliot directed her to go first. "I get it Liv. I'll be cool. But you shouldn't be doing an investigation like this with only two people. It was my case too you know. I know all of the details and I'm more familiar with the victims. I don't care what Stud muffin has to say about it. I'm going on this trip."

Olivia closed her eyes and shook her head in defeat. She just hoped Elliot was doing this for the love of the case and not a macho act of chivalry.


	9. Three Checks Mark the Man

**AN: Thanks for the fun shout out's and reviews. I was going to post the chapter 7 theater references in here, but I'm waiting on a few people, so I'm gonna give them one more chapter to figure it out. If you're not a theater person it's hard. And when I say theater person- I mean someone who knows more than the Broadway hits and Romeo and Juliet. Shalom! Scar **

**Three Checks Mark the Man **

Olivia opened the door to the squad car and threw her overnight bag in the back seat. She looked over the top of the car and scanned the parking lot. Elliot was nowhere to be found. She wasn't sure if that was a good thing or not, Dean's strange behavior was already becoming awkward.

"Alright Benson, you ready for some action?" Dean winked and climbed into the front seat.

She raised an eyebrow and pretended to be amused.

"Ah, Just like old times undercover."

"Sorry, Dean those times were quick and forgetful."

Dean started the car and pulled out off the lot. He sighed and grinned at Olivia's comment. "You still sore about your partner?"

"Sorry, I'm not sure what you're getting at with that question?"

Dean answered her in the most sincere way he could muster. "I didn't mean to break that up. I just didn't want you to get caught."

"Dean, there was nothing for you to break up. Ok, I'm done with personal conversation. Can I see the case file? I'd like to do my job, close the case, and get back to my life. Thanks."

Olivia flipped through the pages and did her best to ignore the situation.

After a moment, Dean watched her and took a breath to speak his thoughts, but quickly stopped himself.

Olivia slapped the pages on her leg. "What?"

"Nothing."

"No, what were you going to say?"

"I don't get you."

"Good."

"No really. I mean this is the nicest way I can say it. I've been trying to subtly ask you out for almost a year now. Let's not pretend. I know you know that. I did everything I could to be open and honest with you. I even put my neck on the line because I believed in you and you refuse to acknowledge my existence in that way. So I think to myself, well maybe there's someone else, and then I meet the someone else, but you tell me he's not the someone else. So what is it Olivia? What's the deal?"

"Did you ever think that maybe I'm just not into you?"

"At the moment I would believe it, but two weeks ago, I'd have to call you a big fat liar. And I realize that I messed up. I did. I should have kept to myself and let you fight your own battles, but I- Olivia, I can't help it. I can't get you out of my head. You're infectious and wild. You call me out when I put up a front. You care for everything and everyone. You're mysterious and genuine at the same time, and it fascinates me to no end." Dean pulled the car to the side of the road and looked at Olivia. "And beyond all that. I think that I might love you."

"Whoa, Dean….Wow. I…You - that's a little forward don't you think?"

"I know. I know, it's ridiculous, but I don't know how else to get you to understand me."

Olivia could see the pain in his eyes. There was something about Dean that she liked right off the bat, but the spark as far as she was concerned never lit. Politely she touched his hand and looked him in the eye. "Dean, I think that you are a wonderful guy. And had I met you in another time in another place I probably would have jumped to be with you, but I'm really conflicted with some personal things right now and I just need to let them ride out. So as lovely as your display of affection is I still stand my ground when I say that I'd I like to keep this relationship professional."

Dean ran his fingers through his hair in frustration. "Fine. Ok, fine. I just want you to know that the ball is in your court if you ever decide to change your mind."

Olivia blinked and looked away. "Thanks," was all that she could mutter.

Dean turned the car on and continued to drive to the airport. The silence between the two of them was deafening. Olivia pretended to read the file in her lap. Every now and again she would check her cell phone or look in the side view mirror hoping that Elliot would somehow appear with a great explanation or a warrant to arrest them. God anything would be better then the tension crammed in the small car that seemed to be closing in every second she sat in it's leathery seats. Her mind switched back and forth about Dean and she thought to herself _", Did I just do the right thing? I mean, Elliot and I aren't even a thing. We aren't even a we. We couldn't be a we even if we wanted to be a we. Why can't this be easy? It used to be easy. The older I get the harder my love life becomes."_

It was funny to her how quickly one's trust for someone could be so easily questioned when put on trial. She had no doubt in her mind that Elliot held a significant role in her life. He was someone she was definitely suppose to meet, but she was never quiet sure if he was the _man_ she was suppose to meet. He was the key to a large majority of her happiness and ignoring that happiness and that love for him was too much for her to even imagine, but what if he wasn't the one she was suppose to be with. Olivia was a firm believer that every person that came into her life was there to teach her something. She took in every human being, every conversation, every smile, laugh, tear, glance or stare like it was a gift. Of course, there was a down side to everything and some gifts weren't as easy to unwrap as others, but to her they all had a place. Every once in awhile she would ask herself if maybe Elliot's gift was not what she thought it was. Maybe the love of her life was still yet to be unwrapped. That thought taunted her in situations like these. Here she found herself with two absolutely wonderful guys. Each of them had their own flaws, but if she were to make a list of good's and bad's, at this point, Dean would probably come out on top. I mean, being married and cheating were technically the two biggest reasons not to date a man and yet Elliot was both. What's to stop him from doing that to her? So why did she wait for Elliot?

Dean parked the car and the two of them walked through the airport to their gate. Every now and again Olivia would attempt to make an over used joke about airport security or the tiny food. She wanted desperately to kill the bad air between them and since the ball was so rapidly forced into her court, thus made her feel as if it were her duty to mend the damage. Just when she thought that all hope was lost a familiar voice came through the crowd of busy travelers.

"Liv. Dean. Hold up."

Dean and Olivia turned around to see Elliot waving and pushing his way towards them.

"Hey. Shwoo. I'm out of breath."

Dean's brow furrowed at the sight of Elliot. "Stabler. What are you doing here?"

"You guys left half of the case information at the office." Elliot pulled out a stack of papers. "Not to mention your badge (pause) Captain." Elliot handed Dean his badge with a goofball grin on his face. "It's a good thing I stopped by the office. Munch sent me to tag along."

Dean touched his empty coat pocket and snatched the badge from Elliot's hand. "Munch should have called me before he sent you."

"Yeah, I was suppose to call you on the way here, but I left my cell at the office."

Olivia stood a half an inch behind Dean and was close to beaming at Elliot with excitement and laughter. She held it back and gave him a quick smile. Dean bent over to pick up his bag and Olivia gave him the old "Now what?" face. Elliot held up his plane ticket and winked at her. It was comforting to know that she could have a conversation without saying a word. She smiled to herself and one check was mentally added to Elliot's good list.

Dean stood up and flipped his hair back. "Thanks man. I don't know how that fell out."

Elliot slapped him on the arm. "Hey, any time. Things like that happen. Pockets. Hah, they have a mind of their own. That's why I keep important things on my belt." Elliot pulled at his belt buckle and snorted through his nose. He was really hamming it up. Olivia had to give him a glare and a slice-of-the-throat wave to calm him down.

Dean nodded and continued ", Ok well, thanks and see you in a few. Olivia, are you ready? We only have five minutes."

"Yeah."

Olivia and Dean turned to leave and Elliot followed them. Dean stopped and looked at Elliot. Elliot smiled and popped a piece of gum in his mouth. "Shouldn't you be heading that way," Dean asked.

Elliot looked in the direction of the airports exit and back to Dean with a serious dead panned expression on his face. "Mmmmm, nope." He pulled the ticket from his pocket and smiled. "I had to buy a ticket to get through the gate, so it looks like I'm gonna be going to Ohio. I mean, why waste the money right."

The look on Dean's face was priceless. Olivia wiped the corners of her mouth to hide the laughter in her hand and a second check was then mentally added to Elliot's list.

Dean was a serious man but a good man. The three of them pushed into the small plane and he politely let Olivia take the window seat. He then took her bag and put both his bag and hers into the top compartment. Before he had a chance to duck under the baggage holder and sit in the middle seat next to her, he felt a tap on his shoulder.

Elliot poked his head around Dean's hunched back. "Hey, man, do you mind if I take the middle seat?"

"Yes."

"It's just I have a real thing about needing to see out the window and also being close to the aisle in case of an emergency. It would really be better for everyone on the plane if I had that seat."

Dean looked at Olivia who was trying very hard to ignore the whole thing and stare blankly out the window. Dean grumbled and backed out into the aisle.

Elliot smacked him on the back. "Thanks, man. I mean, Cap."

"You don't need to call me that."

"What?"

"I know that everyone is still a little on edge about Don. So please, just refer to me as Dean."

"Dean? Noooooo, I can't do that. That's not right. You're a fill in but you're no substitute teacher. I could never call you anything less than Captain."

Dean huffed and pulled open a magazine.

After a moment Elliot then added ", Unless of course you got fired or Cragen comes back, then maybe I'll call you Porter, but Dean. That's something your friends call you."

Olivia's eyes grew wide and she squeezed Elliot's arm. "Ok that's enough. Let's just talk about something else please."

Elliot was amused by the situation and he just couldn't leave the tension alone. "What? I was just trying to be honest. We all should know what we are. Captain Porter should know that I am under his rank and that I take that very seriously."

Olivia grunted through her teeth. "Elliot, shut up."

"It's not very nice to tell somebody to shut up, Olivia. Did you get enough coffee this morning?"

Dean slapped the magazine closed. "Alright, the both of you please stay quite. I'm really not in the mood for idol chitchat. My head it throbbing. We're here on business and that's it."

"I was just trying to pay you a compliment."

"Yes and I thank you, but can you just-"

BUZZ BUZZ.

Elliot's pocket started to vibrate. "Hold that thought." He elbowed Dean several times trying to reach the phone.

"I thought you said left your phone, Stabler."

"Yeah, well I must have missed it." He finally got it out and smiled. "Like I said, never trust a pocket. Hello? Hey Maureen. No I can't make it. I'm actually on a flight to Ohio for business. Well tell mom we'll talk when I get back. Yes, honey, I know things are bad, but she wanted her space and I'm giving it to her. So tell her to honor my honor. Love you. Yes, you can tell mom I love her too."

Olivia watched him put the phone away and close his eyes as the plane started and the engines pushed them forward.

Her thought's started to quicken in her mind as she mentally checked an x onto Elliot's bad list. She turned her whole body towards the window. Looking at either one of them became over whelming. Softly her breath left foggy marks on the window while she held in the confusion wearing on her mind. She closed her eyes to pretend she was asleep. Strange scenarios played on like a dance in her wild imagination. Thoughts about Elliot never leaving Kathy and Dean becoming too clingy. Dean's face grew large as he came towards her with his lips puckered and his eyes closed. Elliot's face came into view. He was bent over his wife fucking her from behind the judges stand in the middle of a courtroom while moaning ", No! Olivia, no! Run Liv run!" Judge Elizabeth Donnelly pounded her gavel while screaming "Objection! Order in the Court!". The pounding of the gavel pierced loudly throughout the dream. To top the whole nightmare off, Dean knelt on the floor with roses and a small box smiling and whispering ", Marry me Olivia. I think I might love you." Olivia envisioned herself running from the courtroom. She passed Casey, who took endless pictures of her while laughing maniacally. Olivia twitched and gasped. The gavel pounded in her head. She felt dizzy and cold. Her temples throbbed and her head buzzed with a migraine. When she opened her eyes she was sweating and her whole body ached.

Elliot peaked at her through his closed eyes. "Liv, you ok?"

"No. I'm not feeling good. I need to get up."

Elliot touched her hand and felt that she was warm. "Liv, you don't look so good sit down."

Dean took off the airplane earphones. "What's wrong?"

"I'm fine. I think I just need some water."

Elliot pushed her into her seat and felt her forehead. "You have a fever."

"No, I'm fine. Really. I just need some air. Please, Elliot, let me get up."

"Elliot, let her out."

"No, she needs water." Elliot pressed the help button and stood up.

Dean looked at Elliot like he had five heads. "What are you doing?"

"I'm getting her water."

"I'm on the end I'll get her water."

Elliot hung over the seat. "Dean, I'm up, just move your legs and I'll get the water."

Elliot tried to climb over Dean, but Dean stopped him and unbuckled his seatbelt. "Elliot, sit down. I'll get Olivia a water."

The two headstrong men were now face to face and on the verge of starting a fist fight over a tiny glass of water. Elliot's nostrils flared but he swallowed his temper and sat down. "Go for it."

Dean disappeared down the hallway and Elliot turned to Olivia and touched her face.

"Elliot, you need to stop. I appreciate you coming, but if you don't cut the wise cracks I'm going to rip my hair out." Olivia coughed and held her hands over her eyes. "Ah my head."

"Liv, I'm just having a little fun. "

She peaked at him through her hands.

He grinned, "Ok I'll cool it. Give me your hand."

"Why?"

"Just give me your hand."

He held her hand and gently messaged it. "It will calm your mind."

"Just don't let Dean see it."

"Right."

Elliot's fingers gently rubbed every part of Olivia's hand as if it were passionately recording the details. Olivia closed her eyes and for a moment felt balanced. The moment was almost endless until Dean's head could be seen in the aisle. Elliot bent over and gently kissed her warm fingers. His blue eyes beamed up at her and he asked almost naively ", Better?"

She smiled checking a third mark on her good list and replied ", Much."


	10. Blind Sided

**AN: I'm in a weird sad mood, because my dog jumped out of our car today and got hurt pretty bad. He's gonna be fine, but it sucks and I needed a drink and a good laugh to end the day on, so this chapter may be a little goofy. Just giving you a heads up...But please review it anyway. It's fun.**

**Blind Sided**

"SLUTZ Pharmacy" could be read in faded letters on the wooden sign of the town drug store in Plainsville, OH. All seemed quite and normal in the small town. In fact, the only thing out of place thus far seemed to be the missing K, which was apparently vandalized and stolen, when Mr. Sklutz first hung it there some 20 years ago. Olivia sniffled and sneezed her way through the store following Old Abner Sklutz himself, as he "helped" her find the exact medication for her sudden cold.

"I keep meaning to fix that sign, but you know how it is. At first I didn't have the money, then I didn't have the time, and now my back gives out to easily, so there it stays." Old Abner Sklutz chuckled to himself as he slowly poked around the shelves.

"I reckon after all this time fixing it would change the whole store. I might even lose a few costumers."

Olivia smiled and searched quickly for the medication. "You're probably right. I'm sure the name is fine the way it is. Oh here, Thera- Flu and Sudafed. That should do the job."

"Oh yes, that's it sweetheart."

As Abner shuffled his way around the counter to ring up the medicine, Olivia took the opportunity to ask a few questions. "So have you seen any new people moving in recently?"

"New people? No, no, everybody who lives here has been here since birth. I can't imagine why anyone would voluntarily move here anyway."

Olivia nodded and pulled out a photo of Michael Herman. "How about babies? Do you recognize this little guy at all?"

SCENE

Dean and Elliot sat in the car outside of "SLUTZ Pharmacy." Elliot dumped a few Sunflower seeds into his mouth and spit them one at a time out of the passenger side window. Dean flipped through the case file.

"So what's the plan, Cap?"

"We have a town and a date. The Sheriff has given us a list of everybody in the town, so we dig."

"What do you mean we dig? Don't you have a perp?"

"Yeah, we have two blurry pictures and a few untraceable screen names."

"That's the evidence you got out of Sedrick? How is that a lead?"

"Sedrick had a lot more to tell us, but it's not technically valid."

"Um, is it me or am I missing something here? You mean to tell me that you brought us all the way to Ohio on a crazy man's story? "

"I brought Olivia and I to Ohio on a man's confession."

Elliot spit out all of the seeds out of his mouth and let down his annoying act to sneer at Dean. "Oh, I see. I didn't mean to ruin your agenda."

Dean's calm assertive demeanor quickly started to diminish as Elliot agitated him.

"What do you mean by that?"

Elliot crossed his arms and sat tall in his seat. "Ahm, I think you know what I mean."

"No, actually I don't. You want to explain it to me?"

Elliot scratched the side of his nose and spit out the window. "If I have to explain it to you then the trip really is a waste of tax payer's money."

Dean turned to Elliot with furry in his face. "We needed to keep this investigation quick and unnoticed. You're already a third wheel, so cool it with the questions."

"First of all, questions is my job."

"A job you're not supposed to be at."

Elliot raised his voice. He hated to be interrupted. "And secondly, if you think the Anglo Saxon locals weren't going to notice a half Hispanic woman and your perfect hair from a mile away, then you need glasses and a pitch fork buddy."

"That's enough out of your mouth. This whole conversation is out of line. I will and can have you sent back on harassment charges."

"Oh come on, it's ok. I'm not gonna tell Olivia." Elliot wasn't the least effected by Dean's threats. He smiled and continued to push as many buttons as he could. " I get it, you wanted her to yourself, so you allowed this washy evidence to make it through the cut."

"Are you mocking my decisions?"

Elliot turned in his seat and bore a hole through Dean with his piercing blue eyes. "Are you trying to waste our time and money?" His class clown act faded into antagonism. "Why did you bring us here? Where is the evidence?"

Dean's sharp features flared with anger. "There's plenty of evidence." Dean shook the case file at his face. "Do you need me to sound it out for you?"

Elliot crumpled the empty bag of sunflower seeds and grabbed the case file from Dean's hand. "Listen, Porter, I don't know how they run things at the FBI, but at the SVU we have little time and small lives to save. You don't go to Ohio on a hunch."

Dean grabbed the file back from Elliot. "You think I'm daft. Do your research Stabler." Dean started pulling out photos and throwing them at Elliot's face. "Plainsville, OH. Michelle filmed her last movie here, we got a parcel photo of the perp's license plate, also in Ohio, and an e-mail written to Sedrick about the area."

"Yeah, thanks for the kiddie lesson Captain Kangaroo."

"That it's I've had it with you." Dean opened the car door and got out.

Elliot followed his lead on the other side of the car. "Hey, I'm just trying to get the facts."

Dean pointed at Elliot and headed for the trunk of the car and opened it. "You want the facts. The facts go like this Elliot. You just talked your way into a harassment violation." Dean dug in his suitcase for his cell phone.

"What do you mean? Harassment. Dean, this is crazy. I'm just trying to do the job right. "Elliot put his arm around Dean's shoulder. "Let's just talk this out. I'll zip my mouth and give it a chance. You're right, there could be something here. Hey, if you want me to I'll go back to the hotel and hide out unless needed."

Dean stood frozen and clenched his jaw. Elliot saw the look in his eyes, but didn't think he had it in him. The punch came in slow motion, but it was too quick for Elliot to dodge.

SCENE

Abner took the photo of Michael and contorted it around his face until his bad eyes finally brought it into focus. "mmm. Can't say that I've seen a handsome devil like him before. Is he yours?"

Olivia flipped the photo out of his hands and glanced at it. "Ah, no, but he's a cutie. Thanks for the medicine."

"Anytime sweetheart. Anytime."

Olivia waved goodbye and headed for the car. She slipped into the back seat and tilted her fuzzy stuffy head back. "Oh, god, that took forever. Let's get to the-" She stopped in mid sentence to notice the blood coming from Dean's nose.

"Dean?" She sat up and looked closely at his bruised face and then turned to Elliot who was sporting a nasty black eye and a fat lip. "What in the hell did you two do to each other?"

Neither man said a word. Dean started the car and Elliot spit a loogy of blood out the window.

"Fine. You know what, don't tell me." Olivia sat back in the seat and blew her nose. "It's better that way. I don't want to know. You're both ridiculous. I'm surrounded by idiots. Idiots with testicles. Ahaaaaaaaa," Olivia moaned in the back seat. "The worst of it is I'm on so much cold med's that I don't even care. The hay and the corn and the woods in this god forsaken flat land, is making me sneeze. Not to mention the cows. How many cows does a person need? I don't even like hamburgers all that much. " She opened the fresh box of cold medicine and took a chug from the bottle. "Blah, terrible taste. Ah, god I can't remember the last time I was sick. I am the healthiest person Elliot knows. That's what he told me. That's what you told me, right Elliot."

"It's true", Elliot quietly spoke from the front.

"Achoo!"

Both Dean and Elliot spoke at the same time. "God bless you."

"Thank you. You know, those cuts are gonna get infected if you don't stop and get something for them. There's a grocery store to the left there."

Dean pulled into the parking lot and headed for the store before anyone could say or do anything.

When he was out of site Olivia smacked Elliot on the head. "Ouuwww. What was that for?"

"What did you say to him, Elliot?"

Elliot spun around to look her in the eye with his one eye. "I didn't say anything. I- he took it the wrong way. He started the whole thing. I was only trying to do my job. I asked him a few questions and he got upset at my answers. Next thing I know he hits me."

Olivia looked at Elliot's eye and started to laugh a little. She felt drunk. The medicine made her tilt to the side and then in a southern old-timer accent she teased Elliot. "Oh darl'n, you look terrible. Why your face looks like the backside of a mule."

"Yeah, well you're not looking so great yourself little lady."

Olivia was so high on medication that she giggled and leaned her head around the seat next Elliot's. They sat face to face. Olivia smiled at him and whispered, "I think you upset Dean."

"You think."

"You really need to not do that."

"Thanks for the warning."

Olivia teased Elliot with the movement of her lips. They were so close to his. All he had to do was lean in a little closer and she would be his. She continued to stare at him. She didn't know if it was the medicine or the right moment but she leaned in and touched her lips to his. Elliot brought his hand to her head and held her as close as he could. The whole moment was clumsy and contorted. Elliot struggled to reach his neck around the headrest and squint through one eye, while Olivia tried to breath from her mouth and lock her lips to his at the same time. The kiss grew silly and intense. Olivia tried to lean closer on the seat and ended up head butting Elliot on the nose. "OOOOOO," he cried, "Can we not hit my face any more today."

"I'm sorry," she protested innocently.

They continued the kiss slower this time. It was like light touching and nose snuggles. Olivia's nose scrunched up and she smiled, while Elliot lightly kissed her neck. She squealed and grabbed his lips with hers. A car door opened next to them and Elliot paused. He spoke softly as she drunkenly kissed his lips, "Liv, the window is open and Dean's gonna be back."

"No, I know, just I can't stop. You taste so good."

"Mmm" Elliot sucked her bottom lip. "God, I want you."

BANG

A woman with a shopping cart hit their car. "Sorry", she said as she ran for her car and backed out of her parking space.

Olivia and Elliot looked out the windows. Olivia watched the woman in the car as Elliot got out to examine the damage.

"Elliot, we need to follow her."

"It's a tiny scratch. The rental place will never know."

"No, we need to follow- get Dean. That woman. That was her."

"The perp."

"No- I mean-yes. That was Karol Pinkerton. That was Michelle's assistant. That has to be the perp."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes! Why else would she be in Ohio?" Olivia grew frantic. She tried to open the car door, but it was locked. She jumped over the seat to see if Dean had left the keys but they were nowhere to be found. Elliot was already running for the store. Olivia finally able to get out of the car waved at the store windows trying to get Dean's attention. Olivia's congested head pounded as she jumped in the air. "Dean! Dean!" All of her comfortable kissing angered her stubborn will to always be alert. She hit the side of the car trying to keep her cool, but all her mind could think about was the fact that she missed the perp. _"Stupid. All you have to do is stay focused. He was right there! How could you be so stupid!"_

**PS--Sklutz Pharamcy in an actual pharmacy from the town that I grew up in. Not in Ohio but in PA. And it was vandilized. We always joked about them having the best penecillian and that's why it was called slutz. He ha ho. We were so funny. **


	11. Lovely Face

**Lovely Face **

Two pink lines ran across the small stick in her shaky hand. She sat on the lid of the toilet and stared at herself in the long mirror on the wall.

Tears filled her eyes and she quietly sobbed. Her first thoughts were shear disbelief.

She had taken the test three times just to make sure it was accurate, but somehow she knew before she'd even opened the package it was bringing her unwanted news.

Voices could be heard outside of the door and she quickly wrapped the pregnancy tests in toilet paper before jamming them into her purse.

"You done in there? I gotta go."

"Yeah, one second." She wiped her eyes and attempted to fan the redness from her face.

"Hurry up."

"Hold on," she cried while turning on the faucet.

"You can wash your hands when I'm done."

He jiggled the door handle.

"All right I'm done," she yelled while opening the door.

"Jesus Maureen, when are you going back to your own apartment?"

Dickie pushed through and slammed the door. Thankfully he didn't notice her red cheeks. She hurried to her bedroom and shook off the nerves running through her body.

A light knock tapped on the door. "What?!", she yelled.

Kathleen poked her head inside. "Hey, Mom's been acting funny again. Maybe you could talk to her."

Maureen wanted to be upset at her whole family.

It would have made things easier if she could just disown them for a while and be alone.

Instead, she was left to deal with the after math of her parent's irresponsible problems.

She felt like the weight of the household was left on her shoulders. Her mother had pretty much locked herself in her bedroom and her father was nowhere to be found.

The last thing she needed was the added stress of two pink lines from one night of drunken sex.

"Maureen?"

Maureen snapped out of her thoughts. "I'll be there in a second."

SCENE

"There. That's the car. That farm house over there," Olivia pointed.

Dean drove the car through the long dirt path leading to the farm.

The three of them got their gear on and headed for the big house.

Olivia checked the backseat of the car and saw the baby seat held in place. "This is it. It has to be."

Dean pointed for them to take the sides while he knocked on the door.

Once in the back Olivia noticed an old barn. The doors were swinging open like someone had left them in a hurry. She peaked around the corner and grabbed Elliot's attention. Nodding towards the barn, she then headed for the doors, running next to the hanging laundry out to dry. Elliot watched her, but kept near the house.

The barn was old and very large. Its wooden sides creaked as the wind blew. She heard noises coming from the back. Slowly she ducked from one stall to the next making her way closer to the shuffling sounds. And then she saw him. A man with blonde hair and a baseball cap stood in the back of the barn holding Michael. He juggled Michael, a diaper bag, and a gun while kicking at the floor in a hurried frenzy. The floorboards were slowly lifting.

Olivia cocked her gun back and took a step towards him. "Going somewhere?"

Before she could do anything else a clicking sound came from behind her. "You don't want to do that, Detective."

Karol Pinkerton stood with a gun pointed at her head. "Put the gun down."

Slowly Olivia dropped her gun and turned on her charm "Karol, you don't want to do that. My partner is just outside. If he hears the gun go off your cover is blown."

"Get in there," Karol snapped while pushing Olivia into a nearby stall.

"Karol, why are you doing this? Michelle misses her baby dearly. Aren't you her friend?"

Karol flinched and blew a piece of hair from her face. She was beautiful. She had dark brown hair, perfect skin, and light blue eyes. "Former friend. She promised me that she would help me with my acting career if I helped her have a child. And who was in the last movie she just did? It wasn't me."

"I'm sure there was a good reason."

Karol laughed and smiled at her partner. "Boy, she has them all fooled doesn't she Bobby." She waved the gun in Olivia's face and glared at her as she strutted around with an unnatural confidence. " Michael is my child. Michelle was too old and shriveled to make her own so I gave her my ovaries in return for a role in her next movie project."

The soultry kidnapper craved for attention and Olivia was going to give it to her. She watched Karol's eyes blink. She took in every detail of her face from her fake lips right down to the tiny scare on her eyebrow, Olivia made sure to make Karol feel like an idolized star. "Surely, there must be a misunderstanding. You are far too beautiful to be left on the sidelines. And I'm certain that Michelle isn't the type of person to brush off the woman who gave life to her son."

Karol scoffed and aimed the gun with more control. " You would think so wouldn't you? She told me I wasn't right for the part. I'm wasn't plain enough."

Olivia shrugged a bit. "It _was _about an Amish girl."

"That's a bullshit answer. She was jealous that I would steal the spotlight."

Karol's eyes grew wide with fury as she circled Olivia. "Your sweet heroine is a vain bitch only looking to get good ratings for herself! Why do you think EJ never wins the Emmy award? She makes it that way. She rewrites the script to gain all the glory. Everyone is under her dictation. She's perfect, with her positive outlook and her Mother Teresa charities. It's all crap."

Olivia was astounded by the insanity of the whole thing. All of this drama for a movie career.

Even if Michelle was a phony, her charities helped thousands of people. Not to mention Olivia had spent countless hours with Michelle and this was the first bad thing she'd even remotely encountered.

But she held back her real thoughts and tried to sympathize with Karol.

"Karol I bet it's hard to be constantly rejected, audition after audition. You are such a breath-taking woman. You don't need Michelle to make a career for yourself. Let's think about this. How are you going to start over without her and take care of this child?"

"I've paid my dues and I'm tired of waiting for my turn. Michael is my son. I'm taking what belongs to me and I'm making my life normal again. He deserves to be raised with his blood mother at his real home."

"Karol, you gave him his real home when you donated your ovary. And Robert is still the blood father of Michael. What are you going to say to him when he starts asking about his father?"

Karol started shaking. "He doesn't need a father. He has Bobby as a male role model and that's all he needs."

"You can't do that to him." Olivia lowered her arms and forced Karol to look into her eyes. " Listen to me, I grew up without knowing my birth father and let me tell you, it has haunted me all my life."

Tears rolled down Karol's cheeks and Olivia took the sign of weakness to gain control. She got closer to her and lightly touched her arm the way a mother would. "You're smarter than this. And I can tell that you want the world for your son. Come on, put the gun down and we'll fix this together."

Karol pushed her to the side. "Shut up! Get in the stall now!"

The man holding Michael finally ripped open the door and climbed into the cave beneath it. "Enough with the games, we gotta move."

Karol pushed the stall door closed and locked it. Olivia watched them go into the floor and then started yelling for Elliot.

SCENE

"Maureen?" Kathy sat in her bedroom softly calling for Maureen. She sat in the middle of her bed sifting through all of the family photos.

Maureen entered and climbed around the piles of photographs scattered on the comforter.

Kathy smiled and held up a picture of her and Maureen lying on a blanket in the backyard. She was 2 years old with a head of bright blonde curls and a big smile. "You were so adorably beautiful. I used to watch you sleep for hours. My oldest, strong-willed bundle of joy."

"I love you mom."

"I love you too sweety," Kathy replied as she grabbed Maureen's hand and squeezed it.

Flipping through the photos, Maureen stopped on a picture of the whole family having a pillow fight. Elliot was on the floor with four bouncing happy children on top of him. Kathy was tickling them from the top. It was so simple then. Even the arguments seemed short and sweet. Kathy grabbed the photo from Maureen's hand. Her mouth twitched and she placed the photo in a pile.

"What are you doing," Maureen asked with concern.

"Your father deserves to have some of these. I'm making a pile for him to take."

Maureen's head lowered. "So it's official?"

Kathy wiped her eye to force the tears away. "Oh Maur, I just can't do this anymore. We can't say that we didn't try. I love your father as a person very much, but we were so young when we got married. We didn't know what we wanted. Your father and I are completely different people now. It's too late to change together. We want different things and we've gone our separate ways. Honestly, I was really happy when we were separated. I went on a few dates. It was nice. It was the first time that I actually went out and got to experience things that I liked to do."

"Dad always tried to do the things that you wanted to do."

"Yeah, he did, but it's not the same." Kathy hugged her daughter and looked at her young face. "Maureen, I want you to do something for me. I want you to be as free for as long as you can. Don't get caught up in boys and children too quick. You have your whole life for that. I want you to travel and live. Date. Find yourself. Find your soul mate. Then worry about a family."

Maureen looked at her with her baby blue eyes and grew incredibly nervous. She felt like a tiny living fetus was eating her from the inside out. Her stomach churned and her heart fluttered. Kathy caressed her hair and kissed her on the forehead. "Promise me you'll do that for me, uh?"

She didn't want to lie but she couldn't bring herself to say the words balled up in her stomach.

Especially not while her grieving mother was smiling for the first time in days. Just seeing her mother smile made her realize that she hadn't seen her mother so happy and free in a long time.

Her cheeks beamed with a different kind of radiance. Like she had finally found a peace in her heart. Maureen sucked back her fears and smiled. "I promise mom. I promise."

SCENE

Elliot helped Olivia into the cave and they set out through the dark underground tunnel.

"What is this place," Olivia asked as she turned on her keychain flashlight.

"Underground railroad probably."

"It's creepy."

They headed forward. There were cobwebs hanging from the ceiling. Each footstep made a sqweeshy sound as they walked through the muddy slimy floor.

"This could go on for miles," Olivia said as they started to jog.

"Yeah, but something tells me carrying that baby through here is gonna slow them down."

And then they heard a sound like dynamite. The tunnel rumbled and a gust of wind and tiny flicks of debris hit them in the face.

Elliot instinctively pulled Olivia under his arm out of protection. "They gotta be close. I'm guessing a quarter of a mile.

Michael started to scream ahead of them and they picked up their pace, until they hit the pile of rocks. Olivia slid through an opening and headed towards the cries.

There in the distance she could see their lights. Bobby was holding a torch in one hand and Michael in the other. Karol could see they were being followed. She turned and shot her gun in Olivia's direction. The bullet ric-a-shaied into the rocks.

Olivia took a shot at her arm with a gun loaded with rubber bullets. It hit her and she fell to the ground into the mud.

"Ah! You bitch! Stop following us!"

With great effort, Elliot finally got through the fallen rocks. His muscular build shimmied in through a crevasse and he held his breath praying nothing moved and crushed him.

After the shot went off he got himself to the noise in a speedy fashion and took another shot at Karol.

Karol was moaning in pain and crawling on her hands and knees. Both Elliot and Olivia reached her and Elliot held her by the arm.

Karol gave a good fight though. She wiggled around and spit into Elliot's face. The whole while screaming for Bobby to run. "Bobby, be a man. Get out of here. They can't take both of us. Run!"

Bobby was not the brightest bulb in the box. Without Karol he was pretty much worthless. He froze on a small wooden ramp unsure of what to do next now that they had gotten a hold of Karol. The torch burned in his right hand and Michael squirmed in his left. The poor child was screaming and crying out of fear and discomfort. Olivia reached out her arm. "Bobby, give me the baby and we'll release Karol."

There was a small flow of water trickling from the ceiling of the cavern and splashing through the wood under Bobby's feet.

Olivia inched her way towards the platform and gave way on the slippery rocks under her feet. Bobby pulled away from her, but she kept her intentions even with her bad footing. "Bobby, face it, you have no where to run. What are you going to do with a child?"

Bobby took out a stick of his dynamite and placed Michael on the ground. "Come any closer and I'll kill us all."

Olivia stopped in her tracks.

"Put your guns down," He growled.

Olivia placed her gun on the floor; she was so close to grabbing Michael. Her heart thumped in her chest. Bobby waved the fire at her. "Back up."

"I won't take another step. Just tell me what we need to do to compromise here."

"Release Karol."

"We'll release her if you hand over the baby."

"No," Karol screamed. "Don't listen to them."

Bobby held the torch closer to the dynamite. "I'm warning you. Release her right now!"

Elliot dropped Karol's arms and waved his flashlight in the air. "There she's free. Put the fire down."

Bobby took a step off of the wooden platform. "I'm not putting it out until she's next to me."

Elliot could see Olivia inching her way to Michael. He had his extra gun ready to pull out as soon as Bobby lowered that dynamite.

As Karol made her way to Bobby, Olivia was an arms length away from Michael, who was so upset and scared that his screams were causing him to lose breaths.

Bobby caught Olivia's movement from the corner of his eye. "Don't touch him."

When Olivia didn't stop the thuggish man turned to hit her over the head with his torch. Elliot took a shot first.

The bullet hit Bobby and he dropped everything to the ground, including the dynamite that was now lit and rolling away from Bobby's hands. The blast happened within seconds.

Olivia could feel herself latch onto Michael and collapse through the wooden platform into a hole.

The fall felt like a mile. Into an underground pool of water the two of them landed. Rocks fell all around her.

She gasped for air and clung to Michael as she kicked her legs trying to keep them above water.

The cave was pitch black. Olivia had found herself in many frightening situations but this was by far one of the worst.

Michael was coughing and crying. All Olivia could think of was how to find her way out of the cave without running into anything or drowning to death.

She kicked her way around the water hoping to find land or at least a shallow spot to rest her weight on.

The water felt like a dark monster waiting to swallow them both up. Michael's screams weren't making things any easier.

Her mind fell into a state of panic, but she tried to find a way to calm Michael in the cold dark pit they had fallen into. "Shhh. Shhh. It's ok little man. We're gonna get you out of here. Elliot?" She hoped he was still alive. "If only I could find something to hold onto, we might be ok. Ok," she said to Michael, who kicked and screamed in her arms. "Elliot, please answer me."

And then she hit bottom. "Ah, OH, Oh my god, Michael I can stand." She walked out of the water and held Michael to her chest. He was shivering from the cold water and his cries were starting to diminish.

She checked his vitals and they seemed slow, but not deadly. She sat him on the ground and took off her shirt.

He screamed when she put him down, but quickly she took off his wet diaper, wrung out her dripping shirt, and wrapped him up as tightly as she could.

She pressed him to her body and tried to keep him awake. "Michael don't you sleep on me. I am going to tickle you if you don't keep those eyes open. Elliot?"

All was quiet in the dark cave. The silence was what scared Olivia more than anything.

She walked back and forth doing her best to keep Michael warm and alive until somebody came to find them. "How about a story Michael? Ok a story. Let's see. Once there was a handsome man named…Elliot, who worked for the city. He worked with a very fun lady and he thought that this lady was something else. She was smart and witty and everybody said that she had a lovely face."

Michael wouldn't stop crying. He clung to her chest and kicked his feet. "What's wrong Michael huh?"

He was trying desperately to breast feed from her and at first she did her best to ignore it. "I'm sorry, buddy. Only mama has that. We're gonna find mama I promise you."

He started to cry louder. His mouth was trying to suckle for food and he beat his hand on her body. Olivia yelled to the ceiling again. "Elliot can you hear me? Please wake up!"

Michael grew even fussier. Olivia rubbed Michaels head and hummed softly to him.

She bounced him and rocked him. And when none of her tactics seemed to be work she stopped and hesitantly lowered the strap of her bra to expose herself.

Something felt terribly wrong about the whole thing, but she remembered reading once, that a baby's cries could make another woman lactate.

Michael grabbed onto her. She jumped at the feeling of it. It was a strange and comforting feeling.

Nothing seemed to be happening, but Michael was immediately calm. He latched onto her and quietly suckled her body. Olivia checked to see if anything besides skin was being squeezed from her childless body, and even though she was as dry as an old dairy cow, Michael remained at peace and then quietly fell asleep.

Olivia held him close to her and tears fell from her eyes. If she didn't make it through this she was glad to know that Michael had allowed her to experience the one thing she'd never been able to feel.

**AN: Hope that last part wasn't too weird for anybody. It wasn't meant to be. Also 11 is my lucky number and it's the 11th chapter so that means you have to review. And you have to say one of my favorite SVU Liv quotes - Perp says "Screw You." and She says "I'm gonna Screw you!" Yes, Olivia please- Screw me! I'm not really into that kinda thing, but I'd totally do it if it was her! **


	12. Darkness

**  
**

**Darkness **

Dean held his fingers against Elliot's pulse. "Elliot, you with me? Come on man, give me some life."

Elliot's body lay under several rocks and the gash on his head looked pretty deep. Dean pulled away the boulders and ripped off the arm of his shirt. "Elliot, can you hear me?'

He then wrapped the cloth around Elliot's head wound and lightly slapped his face.

"Liv." Elliot's eyes flickered open. "Oh, my head."

"Elliot, it's Dean. Can you tell me what happened?"

Elliot tried to sit up. His head was throbbing and he winced at the shooting pain. "Where's Olivia?"

"I haven't gotten to her yet. You need to stay here. I'll go get more men and we'll find her."

"No." Elliot stood up and hobbled with one good leg to the fallen rocks in front of him. "Liv! Olivia!"

SCENE

The hours had passed. Olivia sat in the mud with her knees bent around Michael. She was shivering and sweating at the same time. Her fever was back and she was starting to lose focus.

Michael slept in her arms. She checked his heart rate every chance she could but her mind was starting to fade in and out of dreams. Dreams of her mother and dreams of a child. Elliot's face kept appearing in a crowd of people standing in a dark room. "Elliot."

"Liv!"

"Elliot," she whispered. In her vision he was trying to find her but the room was too full and she was swallowed up by the crowd.

"Olivia."

Just when she thought he would find her he vanished and the search would start again.

"Elliot."

"Olivia, say something."

The echo made her jump. "Elliot?" She sat up and listened again.

"Liv, please give me something."

"Uh! El- Elliot." Olivia's horse voice would barely work, but she sat up and gave it her all. "Elliot!"

" I hear you. Where are you? Keep talking."

She stood up and started to walk back into the water. "I'm down here! We're down here! There's water. We're underneath you."

She could hear the sound of rocks being moved. Dean and Elliot dug through the rubble as quickly as they could. Elliot was dizzy, but he ignored it. "Liv, I'm coming. Please keep talking."

"I-ah- I- How are you?"

"He's looked better," Dean replied.

Elliot gave Dean a smart ass look and replied to his jest. "Was that before or after my black eye."

They both had a good chuckle. It was the first time that Elliot put his guard down long enough to give Dean a chance.

"Dean?"

"Yeah, I'm here."

Olivia started to cry. "Oh god, I'm so glad to hear both of your voices. Please hurry. Michael is freezing and it's cold down here."

"Liv, honey, please don't cry. We're gonna get you out of there." Elliot moved faster to get to her voice and then he found the opening. "Liv?"

His voice was as clear as a bell and the sound of it made her want to run straight into the ice could spring water. Her teeth chattered and she stopped before the land gave way. She held Michael above the water and looked up to see Dean's flashlight shine through the hole.

"We need rope," Dean said. "I'll go get some. You stay with her."

Dean left and Elliot hung his head into the hole shining the light into the cavern.

"Liv, you're shaking."

"I'm fine. How's your head?"

"It hurts."

The sound of his voice was making her sob with joy. She stepped back and almost lost her footing.

"Liv, it's ok. You're gonna be ok."

Through tears, shivers, and a stuffy nose she replied to him almost hysterically so. "No, I know. Oh, god, Elliot, I didn't think you- I thought you were dead. And it's been hours. I saw myself dieing down here. I mean, how many times have I had a gun to my head. It would have only made sense that nature took me under. Remind me to take better care of my plants. And then I thought of Michael having to starve to death because I died first. I'm just so glad to hear your voice."

"Liv, you need to sit down before you fall in the water."

"I can't sit down."

"Why?"

"Because if I sit down I might never get back up."

"Oh you will. I'll make you."

"You didn't answer me."

"When?"

"I called your name for hours. You didn't answer me."

Elliot was going out of his mind being so far away from her. He shone the light at the water. It was a crystal clear spring. The thought ran through his head and he acted immediately. "I'm coming down there."

"What? No. I'm fine. I'll be fine."

Elliot splashed in the water and swam towards her. He wrapped his arms around her shirtless body.

She was burning up of a fever and recklessly crying into his shoulder. Olivia had never felt so helpless and out of control. She hated being so needy, but her head was swimming with pain.

The tears pored from her eyes and she buried her face into his chest. "Don't cry. Your eyes are so pretty and strong. We're gonna be ok."

Olivia leaned against him and closed her eyes. Her panic attacks diminished just knowing that he was alive. "Elliot, do you remember that time we first went to the bar after work? It was me, you, Jeffries, and Munch."

"How could I forget, you kicked my ass at the bar. I'd never met a woman with such a high alcohol tolerance. Not to mention your extensive beer vocabulary. You were the ultimate woman. Every man in there wanted to take you home."

She smiled. "Oh, I didn't kick your ass that hard. You'd only known me for a week. And you were such a stand off asshole to me that week. I don't know why I let you slide. I should have kicked your ass." Elliot laughed and lightly played with her hair.

"Do you remember what you said to that guy who tried to hit on me," she continued.

"Which one?"

She lightly hit his chest with the little bit of strength she had left. "You told him the only man I was going home with was you and then you took the shot he bought for me and you downed it. And then he challenged you to a fight."

"Oh that guy was crazy. Who says 'I'm gonna challenge you to a fight'? He was pretty drunk we should have taken him in."

" That night. That was the first time you stuck up for me. It was the first time you didn't add a comment about your ex-partner or your wife and kids to the end of everything that I said. It was the first time I realized that the reason you couldn't accept me into your life was because you found me attractive."

"Naw, you couldn't have known then. I was better at hiding it than that. Plus, you'd only been a detective for like a week, you're skills were not that finely tuned at the time."

"My skills were finer than yours. And if I'd had any sense I would have left you right then."

"That's harsh." Elliot paused and moved his hands around her body. Slowly from her shoulders and down her back. Her body was radiating heat from it. He just wanted to get her out of there and never let her go. Softly he finished her thought. "But you didn't leave."

"No. And do you know why?" She lightly rubbed her nose under his chin and lifted herself to his cheek for a kiss.

Elliot knew exactly what she was going to say and he was glad it was completely dark otherwise the rare moment that he blushed would have wound him one step tighter around Olivia's little finger. "Unfortunately I do."

"That old Johnny Cash song I played on the jute box and the story about your dad saying--"

" 'Elliot, if a woman ever plays you a Johnny Cash song, I don't care where you are, who you're with, and how you're doing it, that's the woman you want to be with for the rest of your life. Nobody understands a man like Johnny Cash.' I know the story well. Johnny Cash was about the only thing my dad and I had in common. Well that and this job. Ah Liv, what can I say I'd had a few drinks, we'd just closed the case with the dad and the son, and the mood was right. At the time it was a mistake. I shouldn't have said it."

"Well mistake or not you got my attention."

Elliot kissed Olivia on the forehead. His thoughts were mixed as he felt Michael's soft breathing between them and Olivia's shivering feverish body.

Just remembering that story brought up so many other memories in his mind. He wanted to kiss Olivia for real, but Kathy's sad face haunted him.

He knew that when they finally got back to New York his life was going to be right where he left it. Neglected and ignored.

That was his favorite way to deal with things.

He couldn't bring himself to say anything else. His guilt was weighing.

And Olivia could sense it. She pulled away. The darkness was starting to become a reality the longer they stood there.

As usual both of their hearts were on completely different pages.

Olivia wanted to love him and Elliot wanted someone to give him the right answer. The whole thing pissed her off.

She handed Michael to Elliot and walked out of the water away from the two of them.

She could feel her dreams falling apart again.

"Liv?"

"I'm cold. God, I hope Dean is gonna come back soon. I can't take this anymore."

Several stones fell into the water from above.

"Elliot, where'd you go?" Dean's voice bounced off the rocks. After a few seconds the rope was lowered for their safe return home.


	13. Send in the Crowd

**AN: You all are going to hate me- But please try to stay with me for at least one more chapter! I know- you're all horny- and you need your fix- and- I PROMISE that there will be sex...but not in this chapter. :( But let me know what you're thinking. I've noticed that recently a lot of people have been putting the story on their alert list, but then not reviewing and I'd love to hear your feedback. So please R&R and if you do that already- You freak'n rock! So yeah- EO hoorah. **

**Send in the Crowd **

The hospital emergency room was quiet and empty when the three muddy crumpled bloody detectives and their bouncing baby boy walked through the automatic doors.

Elliot lagged behind Olivia and Dean. He watched her kiss and cuddle Michael, whose make shift shirt blanket was replaced by one of the sheets that hung on the clothesline at the farmhouse.

Olivia balled the extra fabric up and played peek-a-boo with Michael as they walked from the car.

Elliot wasn't sure if it was his head wound or the way Olivia's cute nose scrunched up when she played with a baby, but he couldn't help but stare at her and wish that his troubles would wash away.

He hated the way that he was treating her and he knew that she was upset. It was almost like he kept it that way.

For some sick reason he loved that she was angry with him. Her brown eyes would try to avoid him and she would stick her nose up every time he spoke, even if it wasn't to her.

Some of their best moments started with a fight. He loved that about her. She knew how to fight.

It was a technique that most people would never figure out, but she was a pro. She was always in the moment.

And the few times she did bring up the past during an argument, she always apologized for it.

He sighed thinking about how she deserved better than what he could give her.

Dean touched her arm, sending a chill straight to Elliot's nerves.

He knew Dean would be good for her, but could he allow Dean to be good for?

It was another selfish decision he couldn't make. And so he remained silent.

They waited while Dean contacted the New York state police. Thirty minutes of silence later a helicopter was waiting for them on the roof.

Dean stood outside talking to the pilot about last minute details while Elliot and Olivia watched from the glass booth.

The sound of the chopper could be heard from outside. Michael started to fuss.

"Look Michael, what's that? Is that a helicopter? We're going to go on a helicopter."

Elliot stared at Olivia holding that baby and etched the beautiful image into his mind.

The way she cocked her hip for him to ride on and the way she shook her head moving her long wild hair to the side. Not to mention the adorable way she talked to babies.

She felt him starring and she turned her head in mid baby bounce. "Do you think he'll freak out during the ride?"

It was the first time she spoke to him in hours. "Probably. We'll figure something out."

All this time he'd pissed around trying to make the right decision and it was in front of him whole time.

She loved him for eight years without saying a word and all he could do in the heat of the moment was stand next to her in silence.

Elliot shuffled around trying to think of something to say. He needed so badly to redeem himself. "Olivia."

"There was a teddy bear named Freddie Bear. Who lived on top of a mountain filled with chocolate cake." She was in baby land. She sang Michael a funny song and rocked him in her arms.

"Olivia"

"And I- Yeah," she answered in a gentle cooy voice.

"I wanted to tell you-"

"Blaaaaa," Michael squealed.

Olivia laughed and went right into her bouncing baby dance.

"Liv, back in the—I couldn't say what I wanted to say to you after Johnny Cash because...-"

The wind and noise from the chopper gushed inside the room before Elliot could finish. Dean stood in the doorway and winked at Olivia. "Ready team?"

Olivia smiled. "Yep."

Dean handed the headphones to Elliot and then helped Olivia put hers on. Elliot was stricken with jealousy as he watched Dean touch her. It made him sick and angry.

They turned for the door and Olivia glanced his way. "What were you saying?"

"Nothing. It wasn't important."

She knew what he was stewing on, but she was not about to help him. She flipped her hair and walked close to Dean.

She figured if he were going to be with her he would have done it by now.

In fact, when she sat back and reviewed every chance that he had messed up it made her angry at herself for allowing it to happen.

The whole thought of him choosing two women before even attempting to pursue her was insulting.

It was one thing to try and patch up his family, but then to have an affair with Dani Beck.

He'd been giving her the old "Let's not get too personal" line for eight years and the one time she leaves him, he breaks the rule.

Olivia was not one to dwell on mistakes or begrudge people that she loved, but she was steamed.

If he had to think about it this long then maybe staying with Kathy was the wise choice.

Hours later Olivia stepped off the helicopter and handed Michael to his over joyous mom and dad.

Cameramen were flashing pictures and asking a thousand questions.

The fans and the media were almost out of control.

There were people everywhere with signs and banners saying "Welcome Home Michael!" on them.

Olivia, who should of felt happy and relieved to be bringing Michael home in one piece, felt empty and almost depressed.

The side of her body was still warm from him clinging to her the whole ride.

It was a sick feeling for her to think about going home to her empty apartment and her barren life.

She stood and stared faintly at the immediate family members crowding around the Herman's with hugs and kisses.

After the initial shock of seeing her son, Michelle grabbed Olivia's hand and pulled her into her arms for a hug.

She was crying and laughing at the same time. "Thank you so much. You are truly a hero. You are an angel. There are no words to describe this moment. Just thank you!"

Olivia wiped a tear from her eye and quietly answered, "Your welcome." It was all she could muster up as she watched the family that she wanted form in front of her.

For a moment she wanted to throw away all of her stubborn anger towards Elliot and feel him around her body.

She looked up and saw Elliot heading for the doors that lead to the street. He turned and nodded slightly then continued to leave.

"Elliot," she yelled.

Dean stood beside her. "Do you need a ride home?"

Without looking at him she watched her partner limp into the building and disappear out of sight. "No, you know, I think I'm gonna walk." she replied and then pushed through the crowd of people.

SCENE

Life was exhausting. Olivia drug her muddy wet tennis shoes across the sidewalk and slowly inhaled the polluted air.

Nothing beat the smell of a cow field like the exhaust from a bus. She was glad to be home.

Her eyes took in the car lights and the town houses.

Each window had a story to tell. Some people kept their world a secret with blinds, tinted windows, and curtains, while others invited you into their space through large pains of glass, hanging plants, and rear view mirror ornaments.

People pushed passed her on the street. Some of them were starring at her wrinkled appearance, but most carried on with their busy agenda never taking notice of her disheveled hair and dirty pants.

It was funny to her how New York could be the loneliest city, yet she wouldn't change it for the world.

Even though her life seemed to have been turned upside down, New York would always be the same.

Her aching heart beat inside her chest like a clock.

She couldn't wrap her mind around the extremities she'd just gone through.

The excitement of falling in love, to saving a child, and then allowing herself to freely open up to another person.

She couldn't allow herself to be angry about it. It may have been a love lost, but it felt good to know that she finally tried.

Her only concern was how to end it. If Elliot wasn't going to leave his wife she needed to leave him.

She flipped open her phone and dialed a friend of hers at the 01 Precinct in Harlem. "Hi Diane. Olivia Benson. I'm good. Do you remember asking me if I'd like to transfer? It was about a year ago? Is that offer still on the table? Yeah, I'm thinking about it. I haven't told anyone, so the decision isn't finale, but would you mind if I stopped by and tested the water. Thanks Diane. Oh, it's on the news already? Yeah, it was a big deal. I'm exhausted. You're right I should be in bed. Ok thanks again. Bye."

Olivia stood in front of her building and flipped the phone closed. Slowly she turned to the starless New York sky and wished it would wink back with a smile and all the right answers.

**AN: Now imagine Nora Jones singing "New York City Such a Beautiful Disease. LA LA LALALALAL" It's the credits for this chapter. In' it lovely! Blah! R&R. **

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	14. Blame it on the rain

**AN: Thanks for the reviews and the comments. You guys rock! I'm digging this chapter, so let me know what you think.**

**Blame it on the Rain **

Several days had gone by. Olivia hadn't seen anyone from work.

After getting the New York Times and seeing her and Michelle and Michael's big front page picture, the last thing she wanted to do was go to work and deal with the sensitive Joes that surrounded the office.

She especially didn't want to deal with Dean's rejected face and Elliot's inability to make choices, so she took a leave of vacation for the first time.

On the third day of solitude she'd come home from a meeting with the Harlem precinct and a visit with Cragen, who was doing much better, to find a manila folder and a yellow sticky note taped to her door.

Elliot's handwriting was scribbled across the page. "I need to talk. Meet me at Charlie's Ale House two blocks from your place."

Olivia knew she was alone in the hallway, but she nervously looked around before opening the manila envelope and taking out the pages from inside.

It was a copy of the divorce papers. Both signatures were on the page.

"Oh my god," she gasped audibly.

Her eye's fixated to the page as she flipped through them trying to decide what to make of it.

There was a strange guilty excitement running through her body.

She inched her way to the elevator with her nose almost touching the page and pressed the down button.

The elevator doors opened and she stepped inside.

An older gentlemen who lived in the building, stood next to her leaning on his cane and sucking on his denchers.

"Oh my god what did you do?"

The old man assumed she was talking to him. He smiled brightly and replied ", I'm sorry dear."

She ignored the man and continued to read every inch of the divorce agreement, the whole time talking to the pages.

"Why are you showing this to me? This is none of my business. Why can't he just ask me out on a date like a normal man?"

The old man looked at her funny and shrugged his shoulders.

She shook her head and folded the pages under her armpit. "I can't believe he actually did this. And she agreed. And I'm holding these papers."

Olivia grabbed the old man and hugged him. "I'm shaking. Feel me. I can't think straight. And he wants to see me! Now! "

"That's lovely dear," answered the old man, who was confused and wondering if it was her or his medication.

She kissed him on the cheek and the elevator doors squealed opened.

The first thing she saw as she stepped into the hallway was a giant mirror with the reflection of her schoolgirl ponytail, ratty T-shirt, and unmade face.

"Oh crap! I can't go like this."

Turning back around she insanely spoke to herself. "Olivia, what are you thinking? You're not. I have to change. Possibly shave. My hair is (pause) he's getting divorced!"

The doors closed and the old man listened to her voice fade through the wall.

SCENE

Elliot sat at the bar nervously jiggling his leg and tipping back a pint. One of the waitresses poorly belted out the last verse of Cindy Lapper's "Time After Time" on the Karaoke machine then staggered over to Elliot and leaned on his shoulder. "Hey sweetheart, can I get you some food?"

Elliot looked at his watch then downed the pint of beer. "Naw, I'm good. Just get me another Sam Adam's."

The waitress grabbed the empty glass. "What's the matter honey, you having women problems?"

"Not yet," he replied.

She laughed like a train stack and patted him on the back. "That's the attitude. When you decide to eat let me know, I'm Marcy."

Elliot smiled. "Thanks Marcy."

Olivia walked down the sidewalk in a white sundress with spaghetti straps and a low-neck line. Her long legs moved in all their glory under the skirt and her long brown hair blew off of her shoulders. Before opening the pub door she stopped and checked her make up for one last attempt to be perfect.

Elliot sat next to a heavy woman named Bonnie the Karaoke queen and chatted with her and the waitress to pass the time. Bonnie had just sung her heart out and he complimented her bold vocals. "That was amazing."

"Thanks darling. You gonna grace us with a song?"

"Oh I'm not a singer, so grace would be the last word to describe it."

Olivia walked into the bar and Marcy's eyes flashed in her direction. "Well I hope that's your lady friend, cause if not she's in the wrong bar."

Several people turned to stare. Elliot caught her in the corner of his eye and did a double take. "Liv."

The two bar hags turned away from Elliot and started a new conversation as Olivia climbed onto the bench next to him. "Hey."

He couldn't take his eyes off of her. "Hey. You look …like an angel. I mean, I feel under dressed."

She grinned. "I've seen you in less."

He grinned back at her and rubbed the small of her back. "How are you? You've been playing hooky."

"Yeah apparently a lot can happen in three days. I should have taken this vacation years ago."

Elliot nodded and took a swig of beer. "Yes, Kathy and I are calling it off."

"You ok?"

"I've never felt better."

"Honey, you want a drink," Marcy asked in the pause of their conversation.

She smiled and threw her purse on the bar. "Sure, I'll take a Franzischaskoner."

"Now that's a beer," Marcy added.

"You know it."

Marcy scurried away and the two of them sat in silence for a moment. Before Elliot could say one thing he looked at the Karaoke DJ and gave him a wink.

"So what's new at the bullpen," Olivia started.

Abruptly Elliot ignored her question and went right into what he'd practiced telling her "Liv, I have to apologize to you."

Olivia sat up straight and flashed him a bold hard ass stare. "Yeah."

"Yes, I don't know how or why you've put up with me for all this time, but I feel awful inside knowing that I have pushed you to the side for so long. I'm tired of pretending and feeling guilty. And I- And I-" Elliot got nervous just looking at her smart brown eyes. " I had a whole thing prepared to tell you and now I can't remember any of it. God, I don't know Liv. I'm—I'm ready. I want to live. I want to be in every moment of my life and I want to do this with you."

Elliot faltered a bit and tripped on his words. He rubbed his forehead searching for the right things to say and Olivia watched him with love in her eyes. " I—I'm, God I'm no good at this kind of thing. I haven't been on a date since high school, but Olivia I want to try this. I want to make us personal. I want to wake up next to you. I want to date you and kiss you and take care of you. I want to laugh with you. Hell, I want to make love to you. I need you."

Olivia was almost speechless. She wasn't one to just dive into things, and though she desperately wanted to let herself fall into his arms, she fought to trust him completely. "I hope, I mean, Elliot you didn't divorce Kathy for this reason right?" Olivia watched him play with the napkin under his glass.

"Yes and no. Liv, Kathy and I are dead. It was time, but I can't say that you didn't help me to see that." Elliot leaned in next to her. His far hand touched hers and he almost whispered in her ear. "Liv, I am a damn fool and I've ignored this far too long. If this wasn't meant to be I wouldn't be in this chair sitting next to you and you wouldn't have put that beautiful dress on or let your hair down. Put down the walls and be with me. Just trust me. I know you have it in you to trust me."

"What about our jobs?"

"Fuck it. They don't need to know."

"You know that's dangerous."

"So what, we go on pretending there's nothing there so that we can remain on the job together. Let's not lie to ourselves; we've been working under this relationship for years. If they wanted to break it up they would have done it by now. Who are they to tell us what we can and can't handle. I'm a good detective, but I'm nothing without you. Had you not been assigned as my partner I probably would have transferred a long time ago."

"Don't say that. You've taught me more about this job and myself and other people than anyone I've ever met. Elliot you were born for our job. Don't belittle yourself." She gently touched his face and pulled it close to hers. She looked deep into his eyes and found a light there, an understanding that only he could make her see. She had no reason to protest.

In mid pause the Karaoke DJ announced the next song. "Can I get Elliot up here?"

"Hold that thought," he said as he slid off of his stool, never once taking his eyes from her smile and her sparkling eyes.

He took the microphone and the mariachi trumpet blared its eight-measure intro. "This is for the woman I'm suppose to fall in love with. Everyone else would be wise to cover your ears.

Love is a burning thing

and it makes a firery ring

bound by wild desire

I fell in to a ring of fire... "

Olivia let out a long loud laugh and whistled.

"I fell in to a burning ring of fire

I went down,down,down

and the flames went higher.

And it burns,burns,burns

the ring of fire

the ring of fire."

Elliot pulled the microphone cord towards Olivia and grabbed her hand. While singing he lead her to the small space in front of the Karaoke TV's and swayed her slowly side to side.

"The taste of love is sweet

when hearts like our's meet

I fell for you like a child

oh, but the fire went wild..

I fell in to a burning ring of fire

I went down,down,down

and the flames went higher.

And it burns,burns,burns

the ring of fire

the ring of fire."

The whole pub erupted in cheers and whistles as Elliot smiled at Olivia's blushing red face and kissed her passionately. The vocals on the track sweetly harmonized the rest of the song and they held each other unsure of the next steps but wanting to go for it.

The two of them fell into a world of their own. The DJ grabbed the microphone from Elliot's hand and they continued to slow dance into the next song.

Olivia's dress swayed with her hips and Elliot held her hand over his heart. Neither one of them could take their eyes from the others. A handsome black man took the mic and sweetly sang them into bliss.

"You've been alone, you've been afraid

I've been a fool

In so many ways

but I would change my life

If you thought you, might try to love me"

Olivia spoke into Elliot's ear. "I think I could get used to this."

"I'm glad. I was scared my voice was gonna have you running for the hills."

She laughed and her nose scrunched up the way it did when she was incredibly happy.

"So please give me another chance

To write you another song

And take back those things I've done

Cause I'll give you my heart

If you would let me start all over,

Again"

Elliot nuzzled her cheek and continued the moment in counterturn. "Do you remember our first case?"

"The Serbian rapist. How could I forget."

"I remember thinking you were going to be a handful and then I realized that you had this incredible ability to give everything inside of you to those victims. I'd never seen anybody fight for justice so passionately before. You sat with that victim and held her and you made me want to save the world. And there was one moment. That first moment that you looked up at me in that courtroom with tears in your eyes and squeezed my hand, I will never forget that. You've been my inspiration and Olivia I hate myself for letting you down. I don't want to shut you out ever again."

"I'm not a saint

I'm just a man

Who had heaven and Earth

In the palm of his hand

but I threw it away

So now I stand here today asking forgiveness and if you could just please"

Olivia leaned her head on his shoulder and squeezed his hand. "You haven't."

"Give me another chance

to write you another song

And take back those thing's I've done

Cause I'll give you my heart

If you would let me start all over

Again"

Elliot took her hand and pulled her off of the floor.

He winked at Marcy and Bonnie as he grabbed Olivia's purse and headed for the exit.

They walked outside and into a warm spring rainstorm.

The blobs of water beat on the ground and hit Olivia's legs from under the awning.

She smiled at Elliot and said in a playful tone, "Raining."

She then took her heels off and walked straight into the shower. "I'll beat you home."

Elliot jumped to catch her and laughed all the while feeling completely foolish and carefree.

It was a relief to be so absolutely head over heels for someone he'd already grown so close to.

The emptiness and hurt that he carried for years had melted away in a matter of minutes.

It always seemed to be that way with Olivia. She never stayed mad long.

When he caught up to her he grabbed her around the waist and threw her over his shoulder. "I got you now Benson. You are so getting the smack down when we get to your apartment."

"Is that a promise," she yelled through the rain.

"Oh that's it." He dropped her in front of her building and pulled her face to his.

She wrapped her arms around his neck and jammed her tongue around the inside of his wet lips.

"Mmm. You're crazy," Elliot shuttered.

"I'm an animal."

He locked his lips around hers and lifted her legs around his waist.

He could feel her firm wet skin in the palm of his hand and the thought of it made him grunt for more.

They got to the front door and continued to roughly kiss each other while Elliot attempted to dig through Olivia's purse for the keys.

Elliot's focus wavered from the purse to Olivia's wet kisses.

She placed her hand around her back and pulled the purse from him.

Now able to use his hands he placed her on the ground and kissed her neck while exploring every inch of her body. Each raindrop was like a small gift.

She tossed her head to the side and closed her eyes in a fit of uncontrollable urges.

Her insides throbbed to be touched and she dug frantically through the purse spilling several lip glosses and a few pens onto the ground.

"God you taste good. And smell good. And feel good." Elliot pulled her leg around his body and slowly slid his hand up the outside of her thigh.

Olivia moaned and dropped the purse entirely as he nuzzled and kissed her neck and collarbone.

His hand went further and further up her skirt feeling for the underwear line.

Her whole body vibrated from the touch.

His finger tickled the skin under her lacy Victoria Secret boy cut panties and taunted the rest of her body.

She grabbed his lips and forced him to kiss her again and again, while his hand moved to the front of her body and rubbed her pulsating spot from the outside of the lace.

A finger gently slid past the lace and entered her briefly.

"Oh," she cried out almost shaking. "We have to go upstairs," she airily growled through the movement of their entwined lips.

"Why, you don't think your neighborhoods would enjoy the show," he jested as he pushed two fingers inside of her.

"Yes. Oh, my god, you have to stop." She pushed him to the side, flipped back her hair and bent over to retrieve her tousled purse.

Elliot touched her on the backside and watched as she pulled the keys from the depths of her Gucci and quickly unlocked the building.

She grabbed him by the lips and pulled him onto the elevator.

A woman from the 8th floor stood inside holding a laundry basket and looked completely embarrassed by their rowdy behavior.

Olivia pushed Elliot away from her immediately and everyone stood in silence as the elevator slowly moved towards the sky.

Both of them dripped from the rain.

Olivia's white dress clung to her curves and Elliot took in every inch of her in the light of the elevator.

Her cold hard nipples could be perfectly seen through the wet shear fabric.

He stood at attention hiding his crotch with Olivia's purse and his large fists.

Olivia glanced at him and held back a laugh.

He returned her look with a lifted eyebrow and a goofy face.

Her laughter was building inside and she made a few broken noises trying to hold it in.

Elliot playfully hit her on the arm.

She looked straight in front of her and hit him back.

The woman stood behind them tapped her foot, annoyed that she held the door for them.

Finally, the elevator dinged at her floor and they burst into the hallway and ran to Olivia's door quietly snickering and touching each other the whole way.

Once inside they stopped and took a breath.

Elliot watched her move towards the lamp on the end table to turn it down low. The lightening was an automatic mood setter.

"That's handy," Elliot said walking next to her and touching her shoulder.

He stood behind her and pulled her wet hair to the side.

"It came with the place. Supposedly this is the apartment where bachelors come to die."

Elliot kissed the back of her neck and unzipped her dress. "Not any more."

She turned around and pulled the straps from her shoulders. Her face was serine and her lips were red and poughty.

The dress fell past her full breasts and Elliot watched it fall to the floor.

He pulled off his shirt and undid his belt.

She leaned in and touched his penis through the black slacks.

His strong face taking in every move that she made, while her fingers unzipped the front of his pants and lightly touched the skin underneath.

He took in a sharp gasp of breath and she smiled knowing that he was just as excited as she was.

He lifted her hand to his mouth and kissed it. Then pulled her into him and lightly touched her breasts. "You're beautiful."

"You've told me that."

"I need to be inside of you."

"Well what are you waiting for."

He lifted her into the bedroom and placed her in the center of her dark purple comforter.

She sat up on her elbows and watched him take off his pants.

The idea of them being in this moment, closer than they'd ever been before, made Olivia giggle.

Elliot started to crawl on top of her and stopped. "Something funny Benson, cause I've been told I'm quite large."

She grinned and playfully gave him the evil eye. "Who told you that?"

"My girlfriends."

"Plural girlfriends? How may do you have, Stabler?"

He leaned in and nibbled on her ear. "Right now only one, but I've always wanted to have a threesome."

She smacked him on the back.

"Ow, you're so abusive," he joked.

She grabbed his penis and fondled the top of it. "Just fuck me already, Stabler."

His eyes lit up and he traced her body with his hands and smoothly pulled off her lacey underwear.

His muscular build towered over her and he rubbed himself around her thighs and trimmed wet lips.

With ease he pushed inside just a bit and watched her squirm for more.

Her hips started to circle around the top of his tormenting member and he pushed it inside of her.

She let out a quick shaken sound. She hadn't had sex in a long time and her insides were raging for more.

"Are you ok," he asked unsure about the sound and the look of pain on her face.

"Yes, please don't stop," she moaned and then forced him on his back.

Her body grinded against his. She took him inside of her and clenched around him.

Falling forward on his chest he kissed her mouth and neck as she reached full climax.

Her breath stopped and her body divulged all of its sexual frustrations.

Elliot could feel her come and he flipped her over and uncontrollably pushed himself in and out of her causing the bed to shake and squeak underneath them.

She moaned loudly with each rhythmic thrust and he pulled out releasing himself on her thigh.

For a moment he stayed on top of her, heavily breathing and watching her face as if he'd never seen it before.

Then he spooned her from behind and held her while he closed his eyes. "Olivia, I love you."

Olivia nestled in his arms and started to cry. It was the first time a man had said that to her and meant it.

She turned her face and kissed him on the cheek. "I love you too."

**AN: I never go bad on a promise. So there it is EEEEEEEEOOOOOOOO! Yummy meloni sex! MMMMMMM! Let me knowwhat you think. I added a lot of girly chick flick stuff to it, and I'm not sure how I feel about it. I like it, I'm just not sure it's Olivia and Elliot. But I can't tell because honestly in the show they both have their mooshy moments. **


	15. Part2: Secrets and Promises

**AN: I'm seeing the next part of this story with new intentions, but I don't want to break the two stories apart. So think of this as the second part of the book.**

**Part two**

**The Private Detective**s

_"The human heart has hidden treasures, In secret kept, in silence sealed; The thoughts, the hopes, the dreams, the pleasures, Whose charms were broken if revealed"_

_Charlotte Bronte_

**Secrets and Promises**

The weeks flew by in a rush of blissful new love for the moonlighting detectives.

Don Cragen was back in his position.

Olivia, Elliot and Dean were all awarded metals for bravery and heroic action.

And after all the press and media were finished stroking the higher ups, the complaint filed towards Elliot and Olivia's questionable relationship was rebutted and the two were reassigned as partners.

They had everything under control. Endless sex, easy case wins, and a secret life that they grew to absolutely love hiding from the world.

None of which was easy.

Casey walked past Olivia's desk with an arm full of folders and her brief case. "Liv, I'm going to the club tonight with some of my lawyer girls. We're gonna find us some hot men. You coming?"

Olivia confidently declined with a gleam in her eye. "Sorry, Case, not tonight. I'm having dinner with family."

Casey whirled around and gave Olivia an odd glare "Family?"

"Yeah," she smiled with little and no information.

Casey lifted an eyebrow and resumed her way into Cragen's office.

It was a super hero's haven. Except for the spandex costume and the frilly cape, Olivia and Elliot were the Clark Kents of Manhattan.

Elliot was at the top of his game. His family was happy, his job was a success, and he was in love.

As for Olivia, being in love and keeping her job, was a dream come true. She simply took joy in every minute of it

Occasionally, she did feel bad about not telling Casey, but she was never one to give up the private details of her sex life to begin with, and telling Casey would have involved all of that and more.

The pair of them kept up their ambiguous appearances.

Elliot remained at his address and Olivia at hers, but when the workday was over and the kids were taken care of, Elliot would sneak to the place that he longed to reside.

"Elliot, you're hogging all the covers. I'm freezing."

"Sorry baby," he whispered while turning to hold her in his arms.

"Why don't you turn down the AC?"

Olivia snuggled herself into Elliot's side and faintly replied ", I will. Just one sec," before falling into a deep sleep.

All seemed harmonious in the Stabler/ Benson residence…es. The peace that they brought to each other at home seemed to follow them everywhere.

Their cheery laughter even made Munch smile.

"When are people going to understand that in order to make change they must be the change?" Munch grumbled to himself behind a newspaper.

Olivia passed him on the way to the filing cabinets and smiled.

"John, some people just can't live up to your genius standards of living free and responsible. I mean, with all the problems going on in the world your average person with a family can only handle changing tiny almost insignificant things in their lives."

Munch flipped over the page and pointed at a picture of George Bush in a new sports car. "Oh I see, so because he has a family and the oil companies have paid him to believe that global warming is a myth, its ok for him to buy a new sports car?"

Olivia stopped and looked at the page. In her best George Bush impersonation she replied with a wink and a smile ", Well John, he works 'hard'."

John gave her the old eyeball and she burst into a fit of laughter.

Elliot typed away on his computer and added a ", God Bless Ameeer-ca!" for an extra measure.

John shook his head and flipped to the next page with a positive grin on his face.

Scene

Olivia sat at her desk across from Elliot. Every now and again his foot would rub against hers. She would smile and continue to sift through papers on her desk and they would continue the game until interrupted. As usual the phone rang, and Olivia pulled her foot away from Elliot to answer it.

"Detective Olivia Benson."

"Hi, Olivia, this is Diane."

"Oh hi!"

Elliot looked up from his computer and she uncomfortably turned away from his stare.

She hadn't told him that she'd called the Harlem Precinct a month ago for a job.

During the few days that she had off, she'd taken a case at the their office to see if it would work out.

They absolutely loved her, but she wasn't ready to make the move and told them that she'd make the final decision in the next couple of weeks.

"Olivia, I wanted to follow up on your decision, and also, you still have the paper work for that case that you did for us. I'm going to need it in the next week if that's ok. I know you're a busy woman."

Elliot wasn't looking at Olivia, but she knew he was listening. "Yeah, can I call you back?"

"Ah, sure."

"Ok good bye."

Olivia quickly dropped the phone into its' receiver and gathered up her belongings. Elliot looked at her funny. "I'll be back in an hour. Simon needs me to pick Billy up. He's sick or something at school."

"Ok," Elliot said as he twiddled a pen between his thumb and forefinger.

Munch peaked at Elliot above his newspaper and Elliot shrugged his eyebrows to imply that he was clueless, but that he knew something was up.

SCENE

Olivia walked quickly towards a women's free clinic in Harlem.

She had a file in one hand and her phone to her ear.

"Diane, hi. I am so sorry about cutting you off earlier. I'm on my way to your office now. I have to stop and get the doctors signature for the rape kit and I'll be in right after that. Taking the job? Yes, I have thought about it. You have a wonderful team and they were great to work with, but now that Don is back I think I'm going to play it out with my group for a few more years and if the time comes for change you will be the first person I call. No, thank you. It's really nice to be able to meet other people in the field. We don't do enough of that in our line of work."

Olivia opened the clinic doors and stood at the desk.

The volume on her phone was so loud that everyone in the quiet waiting room could hear Diane yammering on about cops and their power struggles.

Olivia took a quick look around the room and tried to cut Diane off before she said something offensive. "Right, listen, Diane, I need to talk to the doctor, so I will see you in a few. All right then. Bye."

The busy nurse took Olivia's paper work and walked into the back room. "It'll be just a minute. She's in with a patient."

"Sure."

Olivia leaned on the nurse's counter and looked around at the posters of babies, birth control options, and pregnancy charts on the wall.

She thought to herself that if she ever needed to get an abortion for some unknown reason, this place would scare that thought right out of her.

There were way too many graphic pieces of literature in the room.

In mid thoughts of abortion scares the door to the back room opened and the nurse held it open for a patient. "Do you have all of your things? Do you need another tissue?"

A girl's voice was heard around the corner. She faintly sniffed and answered the nurse before exiting the door. "No, I'll be ok."

The doctor came around the corner and handed Olivia the signed paper. "Thank you," Olivia smiled.

"Anytime," the doctor replied and then shot a finger at the girl coming from the back room ", Maureen, I need you to schedule another appointment with the nurse. Alright darling?"

"Ok."

Olivia turned sharply to see the scared familiar face standing six feet from her.

"Maureen?"

Maureen was mortified to see Olivia. She started to sway back and forth, and if the nurse hadn't just taken her credit card she would have made a mad dash for the door.

"Olivia. I- I- I- was getting a pap smear."

They both had their little secrets to hide, but Olivia could tell by Maureen's outburst of information and the tears stained on her face that her secret was much more important."What are you doing in Harlem?"

"I—I go here. I mean, my friend told me to go here."

"Are you all right? Do you need to talk?"

Maureen's eyes grew big and she started looking around uncomfortably. The tears swelled up in her eyes again. "No. No, I'm fine."

They both stood awkwardly hoping the other wouldn't tell a soul that they met. Maureen looked around the corner for the nurse. "So, what are you doing here?"

"Case work."

Maureen looked at the files in her hand. "Oh, I didn't realize that you came to Harlem."

Olivia quickly nodded avoiding the subject. "Yep."

The purse Maureen was holding fell to the ground and the two of them bent over to pick it up. Maureen's hands were shaking and Olivia could see that she was in no state to be left alone.

"Maureen, do you need me to drive you home?"

"No."

"Did you drive here?"

"No, but I'm fine."

"Maur, it's ok. I won't tell your father."

"There's nothing to tell."

The nurse came around the corner and handed Maureen her card and receipt. "Here you are. We're gonna need to see you again in 4 weeks."

"Thanks," Maureen replied and pushed the plastic and paper into her purse. She wiped her eyes and started for the door.

"Maureen, really I should drive you home."

"No, Olivia, I don't need the ride. Please, I thank you for the thought, but I have to go."

There was a slight pause and Olivia lightly touched Maureen's shoulder. She was afraid to ask the girl what she had just done.

Abortion wasn't something she could ever imagine Elliot's kids choosing, but if they did she knew that her parents wouldn't want her to go through it alone.

As strict as they were they would want to know that she was healthy and safe. She pulled Maureen to the side of the office and went with a more positive approach.

", Maureen, are you pregnant?"

With her back facing Olivia she closed her eyes and tried to hold in the emotions swelling up inside of her.

The pressure built up and she broke down sobbing.

"Yes I am, and it was an accident."

She felt ashamed and embarrassed. Olivia pulled her into her arms and held her to her chest. "It's ok."

"And I can't--I can't --I couldn't do it. I couldn't have the abortion."

Olivia was slightly relieved that she hadn't taken any drastic measures. "It's ok."

"I just can't have this baby. I just can't."

Olivia rubbed her back. "Sweetheart things like this happen. We can find a solution. Ok? You're going to be just fine."

"My father's gonna kill me."

"No, he's not."

"Yes he is."

Olivia held her tight and stroked her hair to try to calm her down. "Shh, shh, shh, sh, we're going to go sit down, have some lunch, and talk about this. Me and you, and we're not going to tell your father until you're ready to tell your father."

The ten other women and girls waiting in the room all listened and watched them like deer in headlights. Some of them began to tear up. Olivia could see them all start to fidget or hide behind their magazines. She took Maureen's purse and walked her towards the door.

"So you're not going to tell him?"

"No, sweetheart, I would never do that to you."

"You promise?"

"As your friend and as a detective, I am bound to keep any information you tell me concealed."

Maureen wiped her eyes and smiled. "Thank you."

**AN: Ah- Maureen you sad sad girl. This chapter was rough for me to write. I mean, I've never had to make that decision, but man oh man is it scary to think about. Anyway, um Drop me some thoughts.**

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	16. Part2: The Diner

**AN: Just a little heads up- I'm sorry the last chapter was a bit confusing---Maureen did not have the abortion. I cleared it up a bit, so if you read it before I cleared it up- that's the skinny, minny. And just so you know- the beginning of this half of the story is definitely going to be fluffier than the rest of the story, but I'm gonna mix it up with some heavier shit once I set everything up. I don't think that anyone will mind, but if a majority of you are really hating the fluffy- let me know and I will tone it down a bit. Peace and R&R**

**The Diner**

Carrie Bradshaw and her three best friends Miranda, Samantha, and Charlotte sat around their favorite table in their favorite diner chatting about the day, when Elliot and Olivia sat at the booth behind them.

"Oh, oh, there they are again," Samantha, announced.

"Great there goes my breakfast," Miranda added while ripping off a piece of sticky bun and shoving it into her mouth. "You know, how long have we been coming here, and this whole time the only thing remotely disgusting about it usually came from Samantha's mouth?"

Olivia laughed at something Elliot said and in the process dropped her fork. All four women looked at it as Elliot got out of his seat and bent over to pick it up.

A sexual grin smeared all over Samantha's face. "Mmm, honey, there is nothing disgusting about that."

"Ok that was nice," Miranda sighed with a tilt of the head. "But I still don't want to see them fondle each other while I eat."

Charlotte's face turned red as she briefly met Olivia's eyes and turned around. "You guys, stop looking. I think she heard you."

"Well they don't seem to mind us watching any other time," Carrie said with the evil hint of sarcasm that she loved to divulge in.

Elliot and Olivia sat at the table joking and touching like a pair of high school sweethearts. It was the one time during the week where they both had a morning moment to spear.

After a good tousle in the sheets Elliot would escort his beautiful lady across town to a diner where they were sure no one they knew would run into them.

This particular diner happened to have Olivia's favorite pancakes and because it was in an unusual neighborhood they got all of their public affections out at one time.

Elliot took Olivia's hand and kissed each knuckle. "El, I think we have an audience."

He glanced over at the table to his right. "What those four? Ah, they're just bored and horny."

"You don't think they recognize us, do you?"

"Yeah they recognize us from last week and the week before that."

"I mean, do you think they know who we are?"

"No."

"How do you know?"

"Because nobody I know would look at my ass as hard as they just did and-," he pulled her face to his and gently kissed her on the lips. "They only stare because they are jealous of the beautiful woman sitting across from me."

Olivia playfully pushed him away. "Oh barf!"

The waitress walked over to the table and they pulled away from each other to place their order. When she walked away Elliot stretched back in his chair and crossed his arms in a relaxing position. "So how's Billy?"

"Good," Olivia quickly replied.

"What was wrong with him?"

"Stomach ache," Olivia drank some water from her glass to hide the lie.

"Maureen used to get stomach aches all the time when she was in grade school."

Olivia nodded. Her eyes fell to the window behind Elliot as she drifted into the terrible feeling she held trying to keep what happened from Elliot. It was eating her up, but it wasn't her place and Maureen wanted to think on it for a few days.

Elliot grabbed her hand. "What's wrong?"

Her eyes pulled away from the window with a jerk. "Hmm? Oh nothing. Kids and stomach aches. Some kids are funny like that."

"We should plan a dinner with Simon."

Olivia's eyes lit up. "Really?"

"Why not? I think it'll be fine and we need to share this with somebody. It'll be good for us. We'll make sure that he knows it's on the down low."

Olivia smiled. She'd wanted to tell Simon since the first time they kissed, but shied away from it. "Sounds like a plan."

They grabbed each other's hands and Olivia kissed him lightly and repeatedly on the nose with a sultry twinkle in her eye.

At the other table Miranda noticed their kiss and scoffed. "Ack, I will never understand PDA. What is the point? I mean, what brings an adult couple to think that, A: it's acceptable behavior and B: freely doing that while everyone around them eats is hot and exciting."

Charlotte shook her head. "Oh, Miranda, you don't know what they're thinking. What if they never get to see each other and this is the one day of the week that they spend in each other arms. Why I think it's rather cute."

"You would," Samantha replied. "I think that if I were with a man that I only got to see once a week, he'd better be locked in my cunt all day. "

Carrie choked, while swallowing a mouth full of toast. "Well Samantha, some of us do need to stop and eat. I think Charlotte has a point. Who says making out in a diner has to stop after high school?"

Charlotte glanced at the table behind her and watched Elliot snatch some pancake from Olivia's plate and hold it up to her mouth. Olivia lightly grabbed it with her teeth and the two of them continued their conversation, like it were a seamless dance. "Harry and I go out and do things like that all the time. It's an escape from the norm and it's very romantic. We made out in Sardis's once. The old couple next to use got up and left."

"Ok, on that note, I have to leave," Miranda said as she gathered her briefcase and her purse.

Carrie pulled on her arm. "Oh come on, Miran, you've only been here for twenty minutes. You're plate is still full."

"I know, but I have a meeting. One of my clients is being charged for rape. Can you believe that?"

Charlotte gasped. "Oh my god and you're going to defend him?"

"Well it's not my thing usually, but he insists that I'm the only lawyer that will get him through it. So, yes, I am defending him."

"But what if he's guilty," Charlotte insisted.

"Every man has a right to a fair trial. As far as his guilt, it is neither my concern nor my job."

The cell phones clipped to Elliot and Olivia's belt started to go off and everyone in the diner looked their way. With full mouth's they both answered at the same time.

"Benson."

"Stabler."

Elliot licked his fingers and pulled his napkin from his lap. "Yeah we'll be there in a few. I mean, I'll be there- right--- east 5th and-"

"Central Park. Got it. Later Fin."

Elliot leaned over the table and kissed her one last time before they got up leaving their half eaten pancakes and a wade of cash behind.

Elliot got to the door and held it open for the hurried Miranda.

"Thank you, " she smiled blushing at his bright blue eyes.

"No problem."

Olivia followed and they rushed to their car mentally preparing themselves for the call they had just received.


	17. Part 2: No More

**An: Ok the name of this chapter is based on a song from a Sondhiem Musical. Can anybody guess what it's from? **

**No More**

The teenage girl's cold body lay in a bed of mud and branches just outside of Central Park. She was dressed like a thug with smeared make-up and plenty of gold jewelry to highlight her face.

When Olivia and Elliot entered the scene, Melinda Warner was hovered over her bloody beaten body taking small samples and brainstorming the details of her death.

"We got a repeat killer here," Melinda finally said. "Perp forces her behind the bush, rapes her, and stabs her in about thirty different places with a small blade. Victim goes into shock. Dies slowly. Perp watches her from those shoe prints right below her feet."

"Damn it, that's three girls in two months," Olivia brooded. "What are we missing?"

Elliot leaned over and pulled a gold chain out of the victim's shirt. " 'Stacked'. That's the same necklace the other two victims had on. The Stack Bundle gang."

Olivia stood up from a leaning position and sighed ", Either Bundle has a temper or someone has it out for his women."

Melinda ripped off her gloves while looking at the footprints in the dirt. "Whoever it is spends a lot of cash on shoes."

SCENE

A hi-tech computer board with several screens flashed images of all the photos taken of the gang being targeted. All four detectives, along with Captain Don Cragen and Casey Novak sat in front of the images throwing ideas around.

"The leader, Stack Bundle." Fin pointed to a photo of a handsome black man with expensive shoes and baggy clothes. "We've got his DNA all over the victims and his shoe print is a match. The problem is his alibi. He's already confessed that he had sex with the victims but then lost track of them throughout the evening. There are a handful of witnesses placing him near the crime scene but not at the crime scene."

"So, he could have slipped away. Those alibi's don't clear DNA," Olivia added.

"No," Casey added. "But he's going to give us a run for our money. He already convinced the jury for the other two cases. I'm going to need more than a collection of his sperm to place him at that crime scene. And we can't use the shoe print. We lost that battle in the last trial."

"Why," Elliot asked pulling a toothpick from his mouth.

" His lawyer brought up the fact that anyone could have bought those shoes to set him up. So unless you find a piece of dirt connecting that shoe to the victim, it's out."

He placed the stick of wood back on his tongue and lifted a brow. "Get me a warrant and I'll get you some dirt."

She smiled and handed him the blue pages. "Done and done."

Cragen took the floor. "Alright, so let's get this started. Fin and Munch, we got our perp in the back. I want you two to question him when his lawyer gets here and then you two-"

Elliot cut him off as he collected his badge from his desk. "Yeah, yeah, we're on it. Find you some dirt."

"And see if you can find anyone willing to testify against Bundle. He can't be everybody's homie," Cragen finished.

Olivia starred at the screens in her own world. Something wasn't adding up in her mind, but she couldn't place what it was. While the group shuffled about behind her a voice stuck out amongst the noise.

"Casey Novak? Hi Miranda Hobbs, Stack Bundle's lawyer."

Olivia froze. She turned her head slightly to see the fiery redheaded woman from the diner shaking Casey's hand. Miranda turned in Olivia's direction and Olivia ducked behind a desk. "Elliot," she whispered.

Elliot's back was facing Casey and Miranda. He stood three feet from Olivia with a blank stare on his face. "Olivia," he whispered back in a mocking tone.

"Get down," she pointed.

Slowly he knelt down and spoke to her in a hushed tone with his eyebrow lifted and a jokester grin plastered to his face. "I know office sex is on our list of things to do, but this isn't the time, snicker doodle."

Olivia threw her pen at him and scrunched her face. "Shoosh! That woman from the diner is Stack Bundle's lawyer."

"Huh?" Elliot lifted his head and peaked at the woman laughing at something Casey had just said and shot back down. "Shit! Well that's interesting."

"What are we going to do?"

Elliot sat with his back against the desk quietly starring into space. "I don't know."

After a moment he turned his head and looked into her eyes while jiggling a rubber glove at her. "Better hope Bundle isn't a clean guy."

Miranda and Casey headed for the interrogation room and Elliot stood up taking Olivia's hand and nodding towards the elevators.

SCENE

_When is it wrong to love the one you're with? That's what I found myself pondering after breakfast this morning in between my bagel and chocolate milk. When a man and a woman fall so desperately in love that they cannot keep their hands from each other is it necessarily a sign of poor taste? And has our society oppressed my generation so badly that we now have to make up for it in a diner over coffee and hash browns? I sat at my usual table watching the two responsible adults across from me giggle and kiss over a plate of pancakes. I couldn't help but feel a sense of nausea in my stomach. Why did they have the need to share their happiness with the rest of the world in such an intimate way? What did they have that the rest of us didn't? I started to make up reasons in my mind to keep myself from turning their harmless sentiments into an evil love conspiracy. Maybe they have loads of children and never get out of the house. Maybe they work long distance and one of them just got back from a lengthy business trip. It was even possible that she was his sexy mistress and he was the kind of man that cheated on his wife. Either way I had to give them props for finding the one thing that every man and woman looks for in a relationship and that was the inhibition to openly love. The longer I watched their display of affection the more I wanted to be in their place. Who was I to say they couldn't love each other when and wherever they wanted to. The mystery behind their key to happiness taunted me. I wanted to know how they did it? I wanted to ask how they met? I wanted to see him lick the syrup from her finger one more time. And just before the nicotine from my cigarette seeped into my brain the mysterious pair were ripped apart and gone before my eyes. Most of the people in the diner who had given them angry glares were now glancing at the empty table. Deep down I think they too longed for the day to kiss with their coffee and a room full of strangers. Whoever you are, where ever you are, love the one your with. _

"Ah, she is so good. I just love this column," Casey sighed as she shoveled some chicken and rice into her mouth.

Olivia and Casey sat in an Asian restaurant eating lunch. Olivia sat across from Casey and snatched the magazine from her hands. She read the words over and over again thinking that she was starting to become paranoid about her hidden existence. She searched for the name of the author and read it out loud, almost in a state of shock. "Carrie Bradshaw. Bradshaw. Carrie…"

"She's hands down the best thing about vogue."

Olivia dropped the fat magazine and starred into her food. "Never heard of her."

"What? Oh my god! Liv, as a single woman living in New York how have you missed her? She's like the icon for all women over thirty still looking for a man."

Olivia rolled her eyes and abruptly snapped at Casey. "Oh, that's good to know. I didn't realize that we needed a cheerleader to find a date."

"Olivia," Casey grumbled. "What is wrong with you? You are being so prudish lately."

Olivia twirled her Pad Thai chicken and ignored Casey's all-knowing glare. "Sorry I'm distracted."

"That," Casey said as she dropped her fork. "That's what's wrong. You're so contained. What are you bottling up, huh?"

"Casey, I'm just tired."

Casey's eye grew wide. "You met a guy didn't you?"

Olivia looked up quickly at Casey. "No."

"Oh, you did! Who is it? Dean? Ow or that journalist that just got out of jail. What was his name…Jackson?

"No. Casey, no. I'm not with anyone. I'm not dating anyone. And Jackson the anthrax journalist has a beautiful girlfriend."

"Figures," Casey added.

" I've just had a lot on my mind with work, and I'm tired."

Casey didn't believe her, but she also knew that Olivia wasn't the kind of woman you pushed around. She dropped the subject and continued eating. "Well stop being tired. You know what, you need to have some fun. You work way too much. I don't care if I have to drag you out in your pajamas we're going out tonight."

"Oh, Casey, I don't know. I have to focus on this case and-"

"Liv, I don't want to hear it. I'm picking you up at 8 o'clock." Casey checked her watched and jammed one more spoon full of food into her mouth. "I gotta run. 8 o'clock. You got me!"

Olivia nodded.

SCENE

Elliot staggered into Olivia's apartment and found her sitting on the couch dressed like a fox and starring at the blank television screen.

"Hey, Lucy, I'm home," he called out before dumping his body on the cushion next to her and leaning his head on her shoulder.

She kissed his forehead and sat in silence.

Elliot could feel her thinking. "What's wrong?"

She pulled away form him. "I think I might be losing my mind. That or I just can't do this anymore."

"Do what?"

"Lie. Hide. Sneak around."

Elliot grabbed her hand. "Baby, just because we had a run in with Stack Bundle's lawyer doesn't mean it's over. For all we know, she wouldn't even remember us. And when the lab results come back with the dirt samples, we won't even have to deal with her. Munch and Fin will be at the hearings and life will go on. Ok?"

He looked up at her made-up face and her combed out hair and smiled. "You look really good tonight. What's the occasion?"

"Casey wants me to go out with her."

Elliot sat up straight. "You mean to a club?"

"Yes and that's another thing. Casey. She's starting to ask way too many questions. I can't keep it up."

Elliot rubbed her shoulders and pushed aside the negatives. "Liv, then tell her."

"You know I can't do that."

"Hey, she knows the don't ask don't tell rule. If she's going to ask then just tell her. The secret will be her burden to bare."

Olivia turned and faced him. She pinched his side and smiled. "You've got all the answers don't you?"

He kissed her lips and ran his hands down her sides. "I'm a number one smart ass."

"You're an ass all right." She grabbed his tight butt and he pushed her over on the couch and tickled her sides.

Just then Olivia's cell phone went off and she squealed trying to answered it ", Benson."

"Olivia, it's Maureen."

Olivia elbowed Elliot's side and nervously pulled away from him "Hey, what's up," she answered breathlessly.

Elliot rubbed his rib cage and mouthed and "Ouch" towards her eyes.

She placed her hand over the receiver and turned her head.

"I think I want to do it," Maureen sweetly said over the phone.

"Right now?"

Elliot threw a couch pillow at her and when she turned he whispered ", who is it?"

"No one," she mouthed.

"Yes," Maureen replied

Olivia's mind raced. "Ah…Where? How?"

"Well I was on my way to his place but I thought it'd be better if you came with me. Is that ok?"

Olivia checked her watched. "Yes. I can do that, but where are you?"

"I'm actually in your elevator. A neighbor let me in."

Elliot pulled his shirt off and started flipping through the channels on her television.

"Ah, honey, now's not a good time. Can I meet you at the coffee shop in ten minutes?"

"Oh, well I'm here."

There was a light tap on the door and Elliot sat up and looked at Olivia. "You want me to get that?"

"No," she yelled.

Elliot stopped and looked at her funny.

"Olivia, " Maureen questioned.

"Maur- Yes. I—hang on."

Olivia threw the phone at the couch and pushed past Elliot while frantically whispering ", Go to my room."

"Why? Who is it?"

"Just go to my room!"

Elliot turned to leave and Olivia opened the door a crack. "Hey," she smiled. "Can you give me one second? I need to find my shoes and we can go."

Maureen smiled and stood awkwardly in the hallway. "Ok."

Olivia ran for her bedroom. Elliot stood utterly confused on the other side of the door.

"What's going on?"

Olivia spoke quickly without taking a breath. "El, you're daughter is here and she wants to talk to you, but she doesn't know that you're here and I don't think that it'd be good for her to know that you're here. But you need to trust me when I say that I wanted to tell you and she wants to tell you---"

Elliot moved Olivia away from the door and headed for the living room. "Talk to me? About what? Is she ok?"

As he rounded the corner Maureen stood in the kitchen with an empty glass in her hand. "Liv, I'm getting some water… Daddy."

Olivia stood an inch behind Elliot. She placed a hand on Elliot's muscular back and watched Maureen's face grow white at the site of them standing next to each other. He ignored Olivia's touch and grabbed his shirt from the couch. "Maur, what's going on?"

She placed the glass on the counter. "I don't know Dad, why don't you tell me?"

"Liv, said you needed to talk."

Maureen glared at Olivia. "Liv, says a lot of things. Why didn't you tell me this?"

Olivia took a step towards Maureen. "Honey, we were going to tell you, but we needed some time to figure everything out."

"How long has this been going on," she asked with tears in her eyes.

Elliot crossed over towards her and rubbed her shoulder. "Don't be mad at Liv. It's my fault that we haven't told you. What's wrong?"

Maureen pulled herself away form her father and glared at Olivia. "You deceived me."

"Maureen, I didn't."

"No, you're right, you never lied, you just didn't tell me the truth."

" Listen, you're father and I are in a very tricky position here and I could not make that decision without him."

"Why? Are you his detective too? You're just so good at keeping secrets aren't you Olivia. How many other things have you hidden?"

Olivia calmly ignored her attitude and tried to reason with her. "Why don't we all sit down and have this talk that you wanted to have."

Maureen angrily looked at Olivia. ", I'm not talking to you. This is so fucked up!"

"Hey, watch it, young lady," Elliot yelled.

With fury in her eyes Maureen blurted out the words in one big mesh of sounds. "Dad, I'm pregnant. And I'm having the baby. And I'm failing my classes and I lost my scholarship."

Elliot's eyes froze up and he scratched his brow in surprise. "Ah...Ok, I wasn't expecting that."

"Are you mad?"

Elliot's ears started to turn red, which was one sure sign that he was not happy. Olivia rubbed her temples and tried to stay out of it as much as possible. After a moment of thought Elliot closed his hanging jaw and quietly said ", Why'd you lose your scholarship?"

"Well I hope you're mad! Because I'm really angry with you!," Maureen yelled.

Elliot looked at Olivia with the angry crease between his eyes. "And you knew all this?"

"Elliot, I-"

"No. Save it!" He turned away from the both of them and sat on the couch. "I don't even know what to say. Maureen, I have no money for you. None. So I hope you can get a job in between changing diapers and going to class."

Olivia swelled with anger. "Elliot, I can't believe you just said that to her."

"Liv, she's an adult and she deserves to get the adult truth. Nobody helped me when I messed up."

Maureen yelled to his back. "That's because your dad was a jerk. And you're a hypocrite."

Olivia turned to Maureen in surprise. "Maureen, that's way out of line. You need to calm down."

"And you need to stop giving me advice."

Olivia was taken aback by the way everybody was acting. It was one thing to be the other woman, but to be the hated other woman was not part of the plan.

Elliot's face grew bright red. "You do not disrespect her like that. This is not your mother's house."

Maureen clenched her jaw and stood in front of her father. "You're damn right it's not. My mother doesn't lie and she doesn't steal other people's husbands."

"Olivia, did not steal me from your mother. Now I want you to apologize."

Maureen's face turned as red as her fathers. She glanced at Olivia, who uncomfortably looked away. All of the sudden her anger shank into a fit of tears. "I'm sorry, but you don't know what I've gone through. You don't see any of it, because you're not there. And you chose to not be there. Do you know how much crap I have to take care of now that you've gone away? And for what? This? This new life that you can't even have the courtesy to tell me about. I hope it's better than mine. I hope it was all worth it. I had to drop out of two of my classes just to take care of mom and the one night I got to relax and have fun—this happens," Maureen pointed to her barely showing stomach and shook back the tears.

Elliot sat in silence.

"Say something. Anything."

He looked at her with guilt in his heart. He stood up and wiped her tears with the sleeve of his shirt then held her in his arms. "Maureen, I'm sorry."

Olivia's phone buzzed. Casey was downstairs waiting for her. "Elliot, I don't have to-"

"Just go," he said in a disappointed tone.

Maureen pulled away from him. "No, I'm leaving. You two can go back to your little thing. I'm out of it."

Olivia tried to stop her. "Maureen!"

"Good-bye Olivia."

She slammed the door and the two of them stood in silence for a moment. Elliot grabbed his keys and slowly headed out.

"Elliot, I wanted to tell you," Olivia pleaded.

He turned and looked at her, nodded and closed the door behind him.


	18. Part 2: The Jig is Up

**AN: Thanks for the reviews all. I'm really on a roll with this story, and I've had a lot of free time recently duo to a forced break from my usual chaotic life, so it's possible that I might have another chapter up later tonight. At any rate, hope you're digging. Drop me some lines. Let me know if anything is unclear. I noticed that sometimes I start writing things in movie form and unless you're in my mind seeing the frame change it doesn't really make sense. So e-mail slap me if I do that again.**

**The Jig is Up **

"Elliot, it's me. Um, I know you have a lot on your mind and you probably need your space, but tonight was suppose to be dinner with Simon. If you want to come you're still welcome. (pause) Bye."

Olivia clicked the end button and watched the light on the screen go out. The squad car's AC hummed as she sat in its' cold moist air outside of Simon's house.

Elliot hadn't come to work that day and Olivia was a little worried but mostly upset by the way he had reacted.

Usually she was the one running from their problems. In her gut she knew he would come around, and pushing him wasn't her style, but something inside of her felt the need to be that nurturing woman who apologizes unnecessarily.

The weakness she had for him drove her insane. Being a submissive female was something she had trained herself to overcome, and yet, there she was pining for a man's acceptance.

Although, to her, Elliot was barely qualified to be placed in a typical male stereotype, which is why, when he was, she was ultimately conflicted by her strong will and her bleeding heart.

Her stubborn mind battled for independence. She hated that she was being punished for his transgressions, but her heart couldn't take the pressure of knowing he was upset.

It took her the entire length of rush hour traffic from the precinct to her brother's house to crush her pride and make that phone call. When she got his voice mail she was somewhat disappointed.

With a sigh she spoke to herself and turned the car's ignition off. _"Well I suppose this is the first step to a normal relationship. Welcome to hell, Olivia."_

Simon and Billy saw her coming and greeted her with hugs.

"Aunt Livvie, Aunt Livvie, Aunt Livvie," cried Billy.

The biggest smile formed across Olivia's face. Billy was just the medicine that she needed. "Billy boy!"

The four year old raced into her arms and she lifted him off the ground. "Hi, buddy, you're getting big."

"My birthday is in two months, " he replied as he wrapped his arms around her neck.

"I know, " she smiled.

Simon caught up with his son and kissed Olivia on the cheek. "Hey mama, how are you?"

"I'm good," she smiled kind of half-heartedly.

"Where's the big El?"

"He's having some family issues, so I'm not sure he's going to make it this time."

"Huh, that's too bad."

Billy jumped out of Olivia's arms and ran to the front door. "Livvie, I got a new train and I want you to play with me."

"Ok buddy, give me a minute."

Simon looked at her with the biggest grin on his face. "He talks about you all of the time. You are his favorite person in the whole world."

Olivia blushed a bit. "I'm glad somebody loves me."

Simon jumped in front of her and held the door open. "What's wrong?"

"Oh it's nothing. I don't' even want to talk about it. Let's just say Elliot's kids are not a fan of the Benson love train."

Simon crossed his eyes at her. "Arg! That's the worst. Well, the Marsdon's love your love train. Amy cooked a great dinner, and we're really excited that you came."

"I am too," she smiled.

She was glad to be surrounded by her brother's support, even if she was constantly thinking about Elliot. They went inside and sat around the table. Everybody passed the side dishes around and dug into the wonderful meal that Simon's wife prepared, until they heard the knock on the door.

Simon left the table and came back escorted by Elliot's tall hard figure.

"Look what the cat dragged in," Simon laughed.

Elliot nodded and sat at the empty seat. "Sorry I'm late."

He briefly looked at Olivia with a soft expression that seemed to say _", I'm sorry."_

She turned her face and passed him a plate. He could see that she was not in warm spirits by the quick nod and her cold dark stare.

Her hand rested on the table while Simon talked about his day at work and Elliot took that moment to gently rub her thumb with his pinky finger.

She could see the question in his eyes. _"Is this ok?,"_ it said.

"_I don't know," _she blinked and squeezed his pinky finger before pulling away to finish her meal.

After the five of them cleaned their plates, Billy pulled Olivia to his room for a special viewing of his new Thomas the Tank Engine play set.

He pulled each piece of track and train out of its' box and set it up while making engine noises. "Livvie, you get the girl one. "

"Oh good, I like the girl trains," she said with a smile.

Elliot stood in the door way and watched Olivia help set up the track. She glanced at him and started quiet conversation. "Where's Simon?"

"He went to get ice cream. Amy is washing the dishes. She told me to come make sure Billy didn't hog you all to himself."

Billy squealed ", Hey, I'm not a hog."

"No, you're not," Olivia playfully said. "You're definitely a little piggy."

Billy snorted and crawled around on all fours. Elliot and Olivia laughed.

"Thank you for being with my daughter," Elliot abruptly said as he sat on the ground next to her and placed a piece of train track together.

Olivia's wall faded a little and she forced herself to give in a bit. "Your welcome. How is she?"

"Better. We had a talk. She's going to live in my spare room. It'll cut back on college costs and it's closer to the school."

She gave him a relieved smile while she pushed Billy's trains around. "I'm glad you settled things."

Olivia wasn't sure how to broach the subject any further, but she wondered what that meant for them

They sat quietly as Billy ran a train up Olivia's arm and over her head. "I didn't know that I was part of the track."

"Choch, choch, choch, you are," he said almost like he was in a world of his own.

He then proceeded to climb into her lap and drag the train back and forth on her arms, all the while making the appropriate train sounds.

Elliot felt a spell of happiness overcome his body as he watched Olivia's willingness to become Billy's temporary plastic toy. "I told my kids about us."

Olivia looked up from Billy's idol play. "Really?"

"Yeah."

"And?"

"It's going to be a little weird at first, but I think they're ok with it. I think it'll be better once Kathy starts dating. Kathleen says she's already started to get out of the house again and she's starting to go out with her friends, so I think it's going to be fine."

Olivia nodded and went back to Billy. She now took the girl train and ran it over Billy's arms. Elliot could see the worried feelings in her body language. He leaned in and kissed her cheek. "I love you and I'm sorry about the other day."

Billy sat up and ran the train on Olivia's face. "Billy, not on the face," Olivia protested.

"I'm sorry. I kiss it."

He sweetly pushed Elliot's face out of the way and kissed her in the exact same spot on the cheek. "I love you too, Aunt Livvie," he whispered.

Elliot laughed and pulled Billy off of Olivia's lap. "Come here you crazy kid."

He lifted Billy onto his shoulders and helped Olivia off the ground. "Let's go help your mama with the dishes."

SCENE

The evening was coming to an end. Olivia felt herself laughing harder and longer as the night progressed. Elliot even found himself acting exceptionally goofy. He gave the best performance of the evening during a game of Cranium, when he chose Ru Paul from the charade category. After the games and the laughter subsided Elliot and Olivia bid their good byes and headed to their cars.

Elliot jumped into the passenger seat of Olivia's squad car before going to his.

"Don't you have your own car to stink up, Stabler," Olivia joked.

"Yeah but I thought I'd leave you a little something for the drive home." Elliot leaned into to kiss her and then passed gas.

She screamed and pushed him away from her. "Elliot! That was foul. Get the hell out of my car."

Elliot laughed uncontrollably.

She tried hard not to laugh, but couldn't bring herself to remain so serious and her cute nose scrunched and snorted.

That was a sure sign for Elliot that he was back in her good graces.

"You are sick man, Stabler. And you smell."

"What? You thought it was funny."

"It was not funny."

"Oh come here," Elliot cooed as he leaned in to kiss her for real.

"No way. You just lost kissing privileges."

"What about touching privileges?"

He circled the shape of her breast with his hand. She gave him a sultry glare. "What do _you_ want?"

His face held an almost evil smirk on it.

"You," he softly replied as he kissed the lobe of her ear and the nape of her neck.

One thing lead to another and before Olivia knew it she was in the back seat with her feet in the air and Elliot's hard body pumping wildly between her legs.

"Oh god," he groaned. "You—are---so---incredibly---amazing. I'm gonna come all over you."

Olivia's hormones raced throughout her body like tiny vibrating jolts. "Not if I come first."

That excited Elliot to no end. He started pumping faster.

"Oh, yes, "Olivia growled. "Harder. Ah, I –god—that's it. I'm gonna… I'm—" The whole car was shaking. Olivia let out moans that would have ended in a scream had she known her brother's house wasn't right behind them. They both clenched down and exploded into each other.

Elliot sunk down to the floor of the car and curled his upper body onto Olivia's stomach. "Wow. I haven't had car sex since 1979."

Olivia stared at the ceiling and played with Elliot's hair. "I don't think I've ever had car sex."

"Really? Would you have forgotten if you did?"

Olivia laughed loudly. "Yes, because I'm such a whore that I've lost track."

"Sorry I couldn't help it. You just set that up so perfectly. So no car sex in high school?'

"Well, I was a virgin all through high school and most of college, and after that I never owned a car."

"Aw you were a good girl. What the hell happened?"

"I fell in love."

"Who was the lucky guy," he asked as he lifted her hand and played with her fingers.

"Daniel Fiztpatrick. He was my first. After that think I just screwed anyone that would put up with me."

"Did you break his heart?"

"I wished that I had, " she smiled tangling her fingers with his. "But alas, he broke mine."

Elliot kissed her hand. "Well he was a fool."

"Aren't we all?"

Elliot sat up and lightly kissed her lips before trying to pull his pants back up. "I will say one thing. It's damned near impossible to put your clothes back on like this."

He got the jeans around his waist when the cell phone on his belt started to vibrate. "Damn it. Stabler," he answered while hanging over the front seats. "I'll be there in a few."

After hanging up he handed Olivia her shirt. "We got a call. Another gang related rape. She's alive."

Olivia jumped up and she quickly pulled her clothes back on. Elliot opened the door and practically fell out. "I'll meet you there."

SCENE

When Olivia pulled into the abandoned building's parking lot she could see the flashing lights and hear the sound of gunshots. Elliot's car was sitting in the lot with its' door hanging open and the keys still in it. She grabbed her gun and ran towards the sounds.

"Somebody call a bus," Elliot yelled as Olivia rounded the corner.

A teenage boy lay on the ground with a gunshot wound in his chest.

"Elliot, what happened?"

Several cops were surrounding the body as Elliot placed pressure on the wound. "He had a gun. He shot one of the officers. I had a clear path. I aimed for his arm and he moved."

Olivia looked around the open building and saw the dead body of an officer laying ten feet away. The teenager on the ground coughed up blood and blinked his eyes until the paramedics got there.

Elliot walked away bloody and upset.

"He wouldn't put the gun down."

"Elliot, it wasn't your fault," Olivia said handing him a towel. "Get your self cleaned up."

SCENE

Elliot and Fin sat in the hospital waiting room out side of the boy's room. Olivia walked in from a nearby hallway. "Any word?"

"He's critical. We're waiting for him to wake up," Fin answered.

Olivia nodded. " I talked to the rape victim. She wasn't really forward with names, but she did identify her rapist as Jimmy Jones. She said it started out friendly and got violent. She dialed 911 on her phone while it was happening and he held her at gun point when the cops got there."

"That's when I showed up, "Elliot added. "He ran for the lot, but we had him surrounded."

"So Jimmy Jones is our Gang banger," Fin questioned.

Olivia shook her head. "In this case, yes. For the other three, I don't think so. First of all, our rape victim is not a part of the Stack Bundle Gang. Secondly, Jimmy's pattern isn't the same-"

"Gun over knife. Victim's still breathing," Elliot finished in a shallow voice.

"Right," Olivia nodded watching her partner's stale expression.

Fin grabbed Olivia's attention. "So what do you think this is? You thinking we're having some rivalry between two groups?"

"It's possible, but we interviewed every member of the group this girl is a part of, the Combees, and we've got nothing on them."

Elliot added his thoughts to the pile. "No, it makes perfect sense. Stack Bundle does something to piss the Combees off. The Combees retaliate by hurting their women and framing Bundle. In return, Stack has one of his boys, Jimmy Jones, make the slate even."

"No, Elliot, I don't think so. Bundle would have retaliated long before he had to go on trial the first time. And I got the lab results back from the dirt. Not a match. We're missing a piece from the puzzle."

"You the guy that shot my brother," Stack said cutting Olivia off as he entered the building followed by his lawyer Miranda Hobbs.

Elliot looked up at Stack who was cracking his knuckles. "Ah…your brother is in room 208 down the hall."

"I know where he is. I asked if you were the guy who shot him."

Elliot stood up to defend his actions. "Yes, I did. He shot an officer and was uncooperative."

Miranda noticed Elliot's blue eyes the second she saw them. She was almost speechless until her client strutted toward Elliot in a vengeful rage. Miranda touched Stack's arm. "Now Stack, let's stay calm. Getting revenge in the waiting room isn't going to solve your problems. Why don't you go be with Jimmy."

Stack blinked and starred at Elliot. "I _will_ deal with you detective," he said as he walked past them down the hall.

Miranda nodded, "Sorry…Elliot Stabler, is it?"

"Yes."

"And you are…his wife?," she continued looking at Olivia.

Olivia blinked back her embarrassment and anger. Fin perked up and gave Miranda a strange look. Olivia swallowed hard and replied weakly ", No. I'm his partner. Detective Benson. Olivia Benson."

Miranda smiled. "That's what I thought. Miranda Hobbs. Nice to finally meet you both. Officially."

Neither one of them could speak. Miranda winked and walked down the hall to be with her client.

"What the hell was that," Fin snorted.

Elliot sat back down in the hospital seat ignoring Fin's glare and felt the light pinch of Olivia's fingers on his leg. He looked at her. Her upper lip was slightly raised and her eyes were filled with fear.

**AN: Duhn, duhn, duhn,- Miranda you're a bitch! Not really, I love Miranda. But she is a hard ass. R&R**


	19. Part2 Protection

**AN: Ok I got side tracked, but I wanted to finish this chapter tonight. I hope it's not too rushed. AH well. Here it is R&R **

**Protection **

Olivia strolled into Melinda Warner's office and handed her a file.

"What's this," Melinda asked.

"Carlie Davis. She was raped and murdered six years ago. He killer, Jason Brandis, was recently released from prison on a mistrial."

Melinda flipped through the pages. "These cuts are exactly like-"

"The other three. I need you to re-exam Carlie's body. If Jason wasn't her killer we need to find out who was."

"I'm on it."

"Thanks Melin," Olivia said before getting up to leave.

"I'll call you when I find something. Oh wait, I almost forgot." Melinda stood up from her desk and searched through a filing cabinet. "I got your test results back an hour ago. Everything came back negative but one thing and I need to retake it just to double check."

"Oh," Olivia said nervously sitting back down.

Every year Olivia would go to Melinda's office to have a physical check up for cancer and STD's done. It was one of the most nerve wrecking processes, but ever since the one scare that she had 2 years back, she made it a point to keep herself informed of any unwanted disease.

"What came back positive," Olivia asked.

Melinda looked over to see Olivia unusually straight and stiff in the chair. "Oh, gosh, calm down. It's not something that I even originally test for when I do these things, but I noticed a pattern and I tried it. It's probably nothing. When was the last time you had sex?"

Olivia scratched the back of her head and turned away mumbling the word from her mouth. "Yesterday."

Melinda, who was going through paper work and gathering a new urine cup stopped and looked at her funny. "Really? Ok, maybe you do need to worry. Did you protect yourself?"

"Birth control."

"Ok."

"Melinda, what does this have to do with my health?"

Melinda pointed to the page in her file.

Olivia's heart stopped and she looked up into Melinda's eyes.

"Go pee in the cup, girl," she said coolly while Olivia walked with heavy feet towards the bathroom.

SCENE

The sun was just about to disappear behind the buildings as Elliot walked back to his apartment from a long day of investigating and questioning. He slipped his key into the front of the building and heard his name from behind him.

"Elliot Stabler."

Miranda stood behind him with a crisp suit and sunglasses on.

"Miranda Hobbs what can I do for you?"

"I need to ask a favor of you."

"I don't do favors."

Miranda pulled several photos of Elliot and Olivia kissing in front of Olivia's building from her purse.

"So what are you stocking me?"

"Detective wait." Miranda pulled Elliot to the side and mumbled under her breath. "It's not what you think. Listen, we're both in danger. Can we take this inside?"

Elliot gave her an untrusting stare but nodded for her to come in.

Miranda stood in his living room swaying back and forth. "It's Stack Bundle."

"What about him?"

"He was my client awhile back for a tax violation and when he got busted for rape he came to me and demanded that I take his case. I don't know anything about rape and murder cases. I've been researching and pulling things out of my ass so that my family has a mother to come home to every night."

"Did he threaten you?"

"Not in so many words, but I'm scared. If he doesn't win this trial his group of brainwashed cronies are going to kill me and anyone involved."

"Miranda, you don't have to continue this. He's harassing you. You need to get out of this and get into protection."

"No you don't understand. His people will find me. They have ways that go beyond the system."

Elliot brushed his hand through his hair and sighed. "So why are you coming to me?"

"Because he took these photos. He's watching you. I'm supposed to come here to make a deal with you. If he walks the photos disappear."

"And what if I said that I didn't care about the photos?"

Miranda's eyes grew red. "Then he'll kill us all."

Elliot paced the room. "Miranda, do you think that Stack is guilty?"

"I…I don't know. He's guilty for a lot of things, but I don't know about… the girls."

"What if I told you we've been looking at a new perp?"

"How sure are you about this new perp?"

"We haven't pinned him down yet, but my gut says this other guy has more reasons to kill three of Stacks right hand ladies." Elliot pulled out Jason Brandis' file. "Jason Brandis' was caught up in a drug deal with Bundle's gang. When Jason didn't pay up they had his wife and daughter brutally murdered. Stack set up Brandis and because forensics wasn't what it used to be Brandis ended up serving time. Until recently when he got out of jail. Now I can get you protection and Stack may even win this trail, but is that going to stop him from doing other terrible things?"

"No, no." Miranda was wiping tears from her face.

Elliot handed her a tissue.

"So what do I do?"

Elliot knelt down in front of her. "I think you need to ride this out. We'll hook you up with undercover protection until more evidence moves the case. Hopefully the charges will be dropped before the end of the week. If Stack is still on you, you'll have to be placed into witness protection or risk the consequences."

SCENE

Miranda thanked Elliot and hailed a cab.

Elliot's phone rang inside while he watched Miranda leave.

The machine picked up and Cragen's voice could be heard in the empty room. "Elliot Jimmy Jones just passed. You might want to come down to the office if you get a chance."

As Elliot turned to walk up the stairs he heard the squealing tires. A black SUV sped down the street firing several rounds in Elliot's direction.

Elliot jumped over the building's concrete ledge and into the basement steps below. His ankle snapped a bit and when the sounds stopped he hopped up the stairs to find the yellow cab stopped in the middle of the road. The driver was dead and Miranda was badly hit.

Elliot grabbed his phone and dialed the precinct. "This is Detective Stable I need a bus now! Send a unit to look for a black SUV around the 35th and 14th blocks. We have a drive by shooting. One dead. One injured."

Elliot held Miranda's wound. She was still conscious and she lightly took in breaths of air. "You have to call my husband. Somebody has to warn my husband."

Elliot flipped open his phone with his bloody hand. "What's the number?"

Elliot called Miranda's husband Steve and several minutes later the paramedics arrived.

Miranda held onto Elliot's hand and wouldn't let it go. "Don't leave me."

"I can't go in the ambulance with you. I'll meet you at the hospital ok."

"No. No, please don't leave me," she sobbed.

Elliot grabbed the attention of one of the medics. "Frank, grab my keys. They're in my pocket. I'm gonna ride with the victim, can you take my car to the hospital?"

The large sandy haired man grabbed for Elliot's back pocket and pulled the keys out. "Nice ass."

"That's what they all say," Elliot said sarcastically.

Frank headed for Elliot's car and opened the door. A loud explosion was heard from inside the ambulance and everybody stopped in their tracks. Elliot let go of Miranda. His heart was palpitating. "Oh shit! Oh my god! Frank," he yelled.

It was useless the flames had engulfed the poor man and Elliot could only think about how that could have been him.

SCENE

Olivia got to her apartment and dialed Elliot's number "Do,do,do, the number you have dialed is not in service. Please try again."

She looked at the phone and tried his cell phone. "The service you wish to call is down. Please try again later."

Olivia could feel that something wasn't right. She called the precinct and got John on the phone. "Munch, have you seen Elliot?"

"Nobody called you?"

"I don't like the sound in your voice. What's wrong?"

"You better come down here."

SCENE

Olivia stood in Cragen's office gulping for air. "What happened?"

"Liv, sit down."

"Just tell me."

"Elliot's car was bombed tonight."

Olivia's heart started racing and she placed her fingers over her eyes. "This can't be happening."

"He wasn't harmed. He's been put into witness protection."

Olivia gasped. "How long?"

"Well hopefully not long. Homicide has already taken in the guys that did this to him."

Olivia wiped her eyes and swallowed in thought. "What about his family?"

"They've all been moved."

"Do I get to see him?"

"Since this is hot, no, but maybe in awhile when the case cools down."

Olivia held one hand over her eyes and convulsed into sobs.

Don walked over to her and touched her shoulder. He'd never seen her so upset. "Liv, you ok?"

"What if I never see him again?"

"There's a good chance we'll see him again. This isn't like Alex's case."

"You don't understand. Captain, I need him. I can't do the rest of my life without him."

"I know Liv. You guys are close, but when this cools off you can see him again."

"No, it's more than that. Captain, I've been trying to tell you this for weeks now and just haven't had the guts to do it. Elliot and I are more than what you think we are."

Cragen rubbed her back. "Liv, I know."

"We've been more than friends. We're-"

"Olivia, I know."

She looked up at him sniffing into a tissue. "What do you know?"

"Olivia, I'm not blind."

"Why haven't you said anything?"

"Same reason you haven't. I saw no reason to."

Olivia stood up and hugged Don. He held onto her tightly. She was like family to him and sometimes rules were meant to be broken.

Olivia got control of herself and headed for her desk.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm going to close this case."

Cragen followed her and felt good inside. If anyone could fight the battle and win, it was Olivia. She'd do it fast, right, and all while sporting perfect make-up and high heals. Winning the case was what she was born to do. Olivia was a guardian.


	20. Part2: Carrie Bradshaw

**AN: Ok- I have little knowledge of police business, so I try to skip as much of that kind of subject matter as possible, but I hope that I added enough to make everything clear and interesting. It's not that I don't enjoy that part of the SVU story lines, but I just don't know enough about it to write it well, so I didn't want to bore you. Let me know if you think it was rushed and if you have any ways to make it punchier or if you think it was fine. See this chapter is when I need a writing partner who likes to write chase scenes and courtroom arguments.** **Anyway drop me a line.  
**

**Carrie Bradshaw**

A short thin woman with wild curly blonde hair walked through the precinct doors with a box in her hand and panic in her eyes. Olivia hung up her phone and touched her arm.

"Can I help you?"

The woman was flustered and her eyes darted from the box to the room and back to Olivia's face. "I…I- think something is wrong. My friend she told me to bring this here. I—I-- do I know you?"

"Olivia Benson. Why don't you have a seat and take a few breaths."

The woman stopped and a realization came over her face. "You. You're the woman. The woman that I wrote about. The woman from the diner."

Fin looked up from his desk.

Olivia smiled and gently pulled her to an open room away from Fin's earshot. "I'm not sure that I've met you."

The woman blushed. "Oh. Oh! Carrie. Carrie Bradshaw. I'm so sorry. I feel like I know you. You go to the diner that I go to. I've seen you there with-"

"Elliot." Olivia's stomach fluttered with nerves at the sound of his name from her mouth. She hadn't been able to see him or speak to him in several days and the thought of being away from him at this moment in time made her want to vomit.

"Gosh, I feel so terrible. I didn't mean to tell you that. I wasn't trying to pry into your life. I –I-I." Carrie started to stutter and shake.

"Carrie, it's ok," Olivia gently said while touching her shoulder. "You didn't offend me. How can I help you?"

Carrie opened the box in her hands. "My friend Miranda, she left this at my building. I know that one of her clients was giving her problems and she was upset and scared. I haven't seen her in several days. I went to her apartment and it's been emptied. I almost called missing persons, but than this box showed up in my mailbox. I don't know what it means, but the note said to bring it here."

"May I?"

Olivia looked in the box and pulled out a stack of bank account statements under Stack Bundle's name. She read them closely and then stood up leaving Carrie confused and broken in the empty room.

"Fin."

Fin stood up and looked at the statements.

"It's Stack's bank account records."

"I thought we already looked at these," he said with confused eyes.

"We did, but some of these transactions weren't on there. Look, $100,000 to Jason Brandis. $50,000, $400,00, all to Jason."

"He's dealing with our Rapist," Fin muttered.

"And apparently the bank."

SCENE

"Tell me about Jason Brandis," Olivia said with her arms crossed and a stone cold expression.

Stack Bundle sat relaxed in a chair before her. His legs where wide open and he smiled, taking great pleasure in the fact that they sent a woman to do what he considered to be a man's job.

"I don't know who you're talking about," Stack said with smile.

Olivia walked around and hung over his shoulder. "Sure you do."

She placed Jason's picture on the metal table in front of him. "He works for you."

"I don't work with rapists."

"Really? So I guess that you just exchange money then?" Olivia placed the bank statements next to the photos.

If Stack's dark face could turn red it would have. "So I did some gambling with him. What do you want from me?"

"Tell us where he is and if you're lucky the rape charges will be taken from your record."

"See that's funny, cause as of right now, I haven't committed a rape, so there are no charges to erase….detective." Stack turned his face and looked into her eyes. His stale breath touched Olivia's face.

She walked away from him and pulled out a small knife from the evidence box. "Recognize this?"

"My father gave me that. How'd you get that?"

"I found this in your room next to a pair of perfectly clean tennis shoes." She unzipped the clear evidence bag and pulled the knife out. It was a knife that was used more for show than killing. Olivia switched the small blade out and turned it under the dim lights of the interrogation room.

"You see, Stack," Olivia pronounced every sound of his name slow and intimidating. "this knife, interested me the moment I saw it. Three inches long. Half an inch wide. The details of the handle are so tiny and intricate. I bet it was hard to clean their blood out of each of the crevices."

Stack's smile faded. "I told you I didn't murder those girls."

"I know you didn't. But you did murder these ones," Olivia tossed the photos of Jennifer and Rachael Brandis at Stack's face. "Didn't you."

Stack's jaw tightened as Olivia bore a hole through him with her dark eyes.

"You can't prove that. The jury already found me innocent."

Olivia whispered into his ear. "Don't fuck with me Stack. I know Brandis is the brains behind the line of drugs you sell, I've got the DNA on this knife that will put you away for life, and more importantly I've got the cell phone that connects you to the death of my partner. All of those things are more than enough to put you in jail for a long long time. Don't fuck with me."

"What do you want?"

"I want Jason Brandis."

"I can't tell you that."

Olivia grew hot and angry. She licked her lips and pushed the table across the room. "Don't lie to me."

"Whoa, you're crazy, woman. I'm not lying to you. I haven't worked with Brandis since he went to jail."

"Then why are you paying him money?"

Stack looked away and shook his head. "If I tell you, what's in it for me?"

"Twenty Five. Less if you prove yourself worthy."

"Make it fifteen and I'll promise my boys won't shoot you in the back."

Olivia's eyes flickered toward the mirrors and back to him. "Are you threatening me?"

Stack wiped his nose. " Give me fifteen and I'll give you your boy."

Casey spoke to Olivia in her earpiece. "Take it."

Olivia sat in the chair across from Stack and crossed her arms. "Ok we have deal. Talk."

"I owed Jason over three million dollars. I couldn't pay it. He threatened to kill me, so I killed his family. I couldn't kill him, because he was the only man that knew the formula for the drug we sold. I thought if I put him in jail it would keep my back safe and my wallet full. I thought I could bribe him to give me the formula."

"Did he?"

"Yeah, about two months ago. Right before my girls started showing up dead. He kept sending threats that he wanted his money. I didn't shell it out. He kept setting me up with you fools. "

SCENE

Munch peered over the steering wheel of the Ford Sidan. His eyes squinted through the binoculars. "I got him in my sight. He's headed for the laundry mat."

Olivia stood behind a counter in the laundry mat folding clothes. She pulled her arm to her mouth. "Copy."

Fin sat on a bench just outside and watched Jason walk past. "He's rounding the door."

Olivia watched Jason walk to the dryers and pull out the pillowcase full of money. She followed him out of the building and pulled her gun out. "Drop the pillowcase and put your hands in the air."

Jason dropped the pillowcase and turned around. "No, I can't go back. It was him. He was the one. It's his fault."

"We already have him Jason. Put you hands up where I can see them."

Fin walked up from behind Jason and cuffed his hands behind his back. "Jason Brandis, you have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will-----

SCENE

Three months went by and Olivia sat in her living room starring out the window.

She'd put five guys, including Stack Bundle, from the Stack Bundle gang into jail, sent Jason Brandis to a life sentence, and caught the banker with the big eraser.

All seemed quiet with the Stack Bundle case, yet no word from Witness Protection or Elliot.

Every once in awhile she would go to the grocery store in Elliot's neighborhood just to walk past his apartment and look up at the empty window.

She even called Dean to see if he could pull some strings for her, but he was unwilling to cooperate.

Everyone in the office could feel the depression in the corner where her desk resided.

Cragen didn't have the heart to empty Elliot's desk. He assigned Detective Lake with Olivia and prayed Elliot would get to come back soon.

Nobody knew the extent of Olivia's pain. She became very bitter towards everyone.

She kept to herself, stopped going out after work, and even Casey kept her distance.

The loneliness that she feared so much crept back into her soul like a dark smoke.

One day she decided to go to the diner just for old times sack. She opened the door and sat at the counter on a stool.

"Coffee," grumbled the waitress.

"Water please."

The waitress left and Olivia's eyes fell to a familiar face at the end of the counter. "Carrie Bradshaw?"

Carrie jerked up and dribbled coffee down the front of her shirt. "Olivia. Hi!"

She got up and walked towards Olivia wiping her shirt with a crumpled napkin. "What are you doing here?"

"Oh, reminiscing."

Carrie sat beside her and smiled. Her sparkling blue eyes felt for Olivia's lose. "I miss Miranda too. I can't wait for her to get back home."

"Huh, well, don't wait too long."

"What do you mean?"

"I've had a good friend go into the program before. I've seen her twice in four years and that's only because I'm a cop."

"But she wrote to me."

Olivia stopped. "What do you mean, she wrote to you?"

"I got a letter from her yesterday. They told her that the gang had been broken up and as soon as they find her a new home she's going to call me."

Olivia's ears started to buzz and her heart rate quickened. "I haven't heard anything." She checked her phone to see if maybe she'd missed a call. There was nothing.

Carrie could see the panic on Olivia's face and she bit her bottom lip. "I'm sure he just didn't get a chance. I mean, maybe she wasn't supposed to send that letter. You know, men aren't always the best at KIT through snail mail."

"Right," Olivia nodded taking a sip of her water. "Listen, I'm gonna go. Thanks for saying hi."

"Sure, sure, anytime. I hope I didn't upset you."

"No, it's not you. I just should be going. But really, Carrie, if you need anything, and I mean anything, subject matter for your article, revenge on an abusive boyfriend, don't ever hesitate to call."

Carrie giggled. "Thank you. I hope it all works out."

"Me too," she said with a melancholy smile.

Olivia felt lost. She wondered around the streets waiting for her cell phone to ring. She couldn't bring herself to go back to her empty apartment.

She was sure that Elliot would have called or written or sent a message of some kind to her by now and the thought of Miranda coming home and him not, boggled her mind.

The hours went by and she passed the fish market down the street from the precinct.

Her stomach was tied in knots. A couple sat outside of the restaurant eating and laughing over a candle lit dinner.

She could smell the aroma of expensive fish and buttered rice.

The couple kissed and the man touched the woman's hand just like Elliot used to touch hers.

Olivia's head started to feel dizzy and her stomach rolled up to her chest. Quickly she ran for the nearest trashcan and vomited what little she had in her stomach.

"Are you ok," asked a man at the corner.

She ignored him and quickly walked to the precinct crying and sobbing the whole way.

Once she reached the building she went straight to the crib and snuggled up in the bed that Elliot usually picked.

She clung to the pillow, like it was him, and cried herself to sleep.


	21. Part2: Sensations

**AN: I'm not saying a word. Just read it.**

**Sensations **

"Olivia. Liv, you awake?"

She shot up from the bed to see Don Cragen standing next to her. "Don? Arrh, I must have dozed off. What time is it?"

"9am."

"Oh man," she laid her head back on the pillow and rubbed her salty tear stained eyes. "Did we get a call?"

"No. I just thought you might want to have some Champaign."

She looked at him puzzled. "At 9am? Somebody better be getting really old."

"That would be me. Now get up," he said before leaving the room.

Olivia pulled back her hair and cracked her bones to a standing position. Before she took one step a sensation from deep inside her stomach made her pause.

It wasn't the first time that had she felt it, but like all the other times she ignored its' flutter and headed for the office.

Voices could be heard from around the corner, and Olivia yawned sleepily through the doors.

There, in the center of the room stood Munch, Fin, Casey, Don, Chester Lake, the commissioner of the task force, one of the state marshals, and Elliot, who stood in the center of them with a smile on his face and a baseball cap pulled over his eyes.

Fin patted him on the back and laughed. "Hey man I'm just glad to see your ugly mug again."

"Yeah after that explosion, I was glad to see my ugly mug too," he laughed.

Everyone stopped when Olivia entered the room. She certainly wasn't expecting this.

All eyes were on the two of them.

Olivia's mouth felt dry from sleeping, her stomach was in an uproar, and her hair was a tangled mess. If her superiors weren't standing ten feet away from her, she may have had a small breakdown right there on the brown linoleum.

Elliot turned and without skipping a beat pushed through the small party and the empty desks.

The unit's superiors watched their every move.

Olivia ran a hand through her hair and tried her best to hold back the excitement and emotion running through her body.

Elliot didn't seem to care about anything but holding her in a tight embrace. He pulled her into his arms and she wrapped herself around his neck.

It was the kind of hug that could only truly end with him lifting her off the ground and doves circling their head as an orchestra played loudly in the background.

Of course, in all seriousness, none of those things would happen in the company of the cold stare coming from Commissioner Hallsaner's face. Olivia got one glimpse of his hairy eyebrows and was forced to hold back anything more than a quiet ", Welcome back partner," followed by a few headstrong tears.

Elliot, whose face remained unseen to their crowd, kissed her neck and softly replied ", It was all you, my lady. It was all you."

They held each other for what seemed like five minutes.

Casey, who had already started planning their first date in her mind, noticed the awkward silence. Finally she broke up the tension and cleared her throat. "Ahem, um, anybody up for some breakfast?"

"Yes," Elliot said loudly without taking his eyes off of Olivia's face.

The Commissioner tipped his hat to the group of them. "That sounds lovely Novak, but I got a day. I will see all of you around. Keep up the good work." He then looked at Elliot and Olivia, who ended their embrace but remained next to each other subtly touching as they stood side by side. "Benson. Stabler. Thanks for another happy ending."

Olivia pushed Elliot to the side. "Thank you, Commissioner."

Elliot walked up to the Marshal and the Commissioner and shook their hands with a strong grip. "Thank you. Thank you for all of your help. My family and my life have never felt so safe. You all are wonderful."

"Anytime, " smiled the Marshal and the two of them headed for the doors.

Fin looked as Casey and lifted his brow. "I'm down with Casey's idea. Anybody coming?"

"Sure, let's take this party outside before we all get fired," Don said winking at Olivia and leading the pack of them towards the elevators.

Munch stood next to Fin brooding in his dark attire. "Honestly! If I have to sit next to them playing footsies one more time I'm gonna ask for a new desk."

Olivia smacked Munch on the arm and jokingly replied in a sweet voice ", I don't know what you're talking about."

Fin laughed and then in a high pitched voice, that sounded nothing like Olivia's voice, said ", El, I have a bad feeling about this. Can you get me some coffee?"

"Only if you promise to hold my tooth pick the next time I punch somebody," Lake added in an almost guttural Will Farrell-esc voice.

"Oww sounds like a deal, " Fin replied. "Add sugar and I'll let you sleep on my couch."

Everyone, including Elliot and Olivia, laughed at the mockery they made of the two seriously hard working detectives.

Munch pushed the elevator button and started the next dig. "Wait, wait, you can't forget the silent conversation stare."

He pulled his dark glasses off and stood in front of Casey, who then mirrored his blank expression.

The stare turned into an exaggerated fake kiss. Munch held his hand over Casey's mouth and the two of them moved their heads around and quickly broke it apart.

Casey dramatically flipped her hair to the side and said breathlessly", My gut says he's guilty."

Olivia laughed and shook her head. "Ok, now you guys are just making things up."

"What do you mean," Elliot asked with his pretend serious face on. "Are you saying those kisses weren't real?"

The elevator doors opened and everyone filed in. Cragen sighed and rubbed his forehead sadly.

"You ok," Olivia asked.

Don smiled and touched her arm. "I'm great, Liv. You just keep smiling."

He wanted to laugh at the practical jokes going around, and to support the two people he cared for the most, but he knew that this conversation was the beginning and end of their unmasked charade.

He hated knowing that he was going to have to break them apart, and he just hoped they had prepared for it.

Olivia felt her pockets and hit the elevator door with her arm. ", I left my purse. I'll meet you at the restaurant."

"I'll wait," Elliot said leaving the four detectives and their sassy ADA in the crammed elevator. "We'll be there in five," he added nodding towards them.

Olivia ran to her locker and pulled out her purse causing most of the locker's contents to spill onto the floor.

"Slow down, Benson, we have our whole lives to eat pancakes, " Elliot smiled as he helped her pickup a pile of strewn about papers and several miscellaneous toiletries.

"At the rate my life is going those pancakes will be gone by the time I get there."

Olivia shoved her belongs into the metal square locker and held her hand out for the last objects that Elliot had collected.

"Liv, what's this?"

"Huh?"

When she turned he was looking at a small piece of photo paper. Her heart skipped a beat.

She grabbed the fuzzy black and white photo from his hand, frightened that he'd found it.

She looked at his face attempting to read his thoughts.

"It's…"

He looked at her eyes and waited for the answer. "Well you know what it is," she finished unable to say the words.

His eyes grew soft and he whispered close to her face. "Really?"

She nodded with a fear still hanging in her mind.

"Yours and mine?"

She speechlessly stood there nodding and growing red with anxiety.

He touched her stomach gently and looked at the small bloated bump under her shirt.

"How long have you known?"

"Since right after you went. I'm four months in. Are you upset?"

Elliot's head fell slack towards his chest and he smiled and shifted in front of her grasping her hands and kissing them. "No. This…this is...why would I be upset?"

Tears started to flood from her eyes.

"Don't cry," he said kissing the tears from her face.

"I've been so scared."

Elliot grabbed her face and kissed her lips over and over again. "You just took down a posse of drug dealing thugs and you're scared of a little baby. I refuse to believe you."

She wiped her nose and choked out a nervous laugh. "I don't want to be the mom that's never home. I don't want you to feel obligated. I have no idea how I'm going to do this. You can't even find time for your first family and now I'm going to burden you with a second one. How can I possibly go through with this?"

Elliot pulled a chair out form under a desk and forced her into the seat while knealing beside her. "Liv, you are never a burden to me. Secondly, _we_ will go through this together, miss independent cop. And, my god, Liv, if there is one thing in this world that I could give to you besides my complete love and devotion, it would be this tiny life changing bundle of joy that you've waited so long for. Olivia, you're going to be a mom," he smiled rubbing the front of her shoulders and shaking her to feel something other than numb. "Don't you ever let my past keep that away from you."

"What about my job? I don't want this child being raised by two people who are never home."

Elliot swallowed hard almost offended by the thought of it. "Boy I wish I could answer that. I don't want to do that again either." His face fell to the floor and she touched his cheek, lifting his eyes to hers.

Her dark brown stare was soft and apologetic. He lightly kissed her lips and pulled her into his arms. "We'll have to make some changes. Decide what's more important."

She leaned the side of her face to his chest. It felt good to be supported by another person.

His validation was all she needed to find her barrings. As she held onto his torso she looked around at the empty office.

The pictures of the victims they'd stayed in touch with over the years hung on the back wall, the desk she grew to love and hate for stealing her life away, the faded memories of long nights and heated debates followed by laughter caused by sarcastic jokes.

She would always hold this job at a special place in her heart, but the change felt right.

Grabbing Elliot's hand from her side she placed it on her stomach. The light kicking started up inside. This time she acknowledged it with great pride.

"I sure am gonna miss this place," she said to her stomach with a soft smile.

Elliot kissed her head and squeezed her tightly. "You'll be back."

With that they headed to breakfast, each step was in sync. Their lives were about to begin again. This time they were ready for it. This time they were a little wiser, a little warmer, and a little more willing to trust each other in every way.

The End

AN: I have plenty of ideas that could take this story even further, but I feel like this book needs to end here. If you want more - let me know, and when I get some time I will start a new one. And to all of you who were screaming "Olivia's Pregger's" yeah yeah yeah- you were right- But I will say- that I tried really f---ing hard to make it different and surprising. Of course, it didn't work, because you guys are so obsessed with babies and Olivia Benson. I almost gave her some weird freaky STD just to piss you all off. But I just couldn't do it to Liv. Anyone else though, and, BAM they'd of had Cancer of the Clitorous or something. I mean, Damn, I think the only way I could have surprised you all was by just having the baby randomly pop out during a fight scene. Yeah, that would have made for a good ending. I'm taking Improv at the Second City Conservatory right now and one of the joke rules for Improv is "When in doubt, have a baby." So you know, you're in the middle of a scene about roommates fighting over a boyfriend and it's not going anywhere so then -BAM- the roommate turns into Olivia Benson and then has a baby. LOL! Ok, that's only funny to me. AH- at least I can humor myself. Anyhoo, drop me some lines. R&R


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